1So they rolled up to Jerusalem, hitting up Bethphage and Bethany, chillin' at the Mount of Olives, and Jesus sent two of his homies.

2He was like, "Yo, head to the village over there. As soon as you pull up, you’ll find a colt tied up that no one's ever ridden; untie it and bring it here."

3And if anyone asks, "Why you doing this?" just say, "The Lord needs it," and they'll let you roll.

4They dipped and found the colt tied up by the door where two roads met, and they untied it.

5Some peeps standing there were like, "What’s up with you loosening the colt?"

6They replied just like Jesus told them to, and those folks were like, "Bet, you can take it."

7They brought the colt to Jesus, threw their jackets on it, and he hopped on.

8A bunch of people laid down their jackets on the road, while others were cutting branches from trees and spreading them out too.

9Those in front and behind were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!"

10Blessed is the kingdom of our dad David that comes in the name of the Lord: Hosanna in the highest!

11Jesus pulled up to Jerusalem and hit the temple. After peeping everything, he dipped to Bethany with the crew when the sun was setting.

12The next day, after bouncing from Bethany, he was feeling hungry, no cap.

13He spotted a fig tree far away with leaves, hoping to snag a snack. But when he got there, it was just leaves; figs weren’t in season, fr.

14Jesus was like, “Ain’t nobody gonna eat fruit from you ever again.” His squad heard that.

15They rolled back to Jerusalem, and Jesus went into the temple, flipping tables and kicking out the vendors like a total savage.

16He wasn’t having anyone carry stuff through the temple, periodt.

17He taught them, “Isn’t it written that my house is a prayer spot for all nations? Y’all turned it into a thieves’ hangout.”

18The scribes and big shots heard this and were plotting to take him down because they were shook; everyone was vibing with his teachings.

19When the evening hit, he bounced out of the city.

20In the morning, as they walked by, they saw that the fig tree was all dried up from the roots.

21Peter's like, "Yo, Master, check it, that fig tree you roasted is straight up dead."

22Jesus replies, "Have faith in God, fam."

23For real, I’m telling you, if you tell this mountain to bounce into the sea and you believe it, no cap, it’s happening.

24So I’m saying, whatever you want, when you pray, believe you got it, and it’s yours, periodt.

25And when you pray, forgive anyone you got beef with, so your Dad in heaven can forgive you too.

26But if you don’t forgive, then your Father in heaven is gonna hold back on forgiving you, fr.

27They roll back to Jerusalem, and while he’s in the temple, the high priests, scribes, and elders show up.

28They’re like, "By what authority are you doing this? Who gave you the rizz to pull this off?"

29Jesus is like, "Ayo, I got a question for you too. Answer me, and I’ll spill the tea on my authority."

30"Was John’s baptism from heaven or just some human thing? Hit me with your answer."

31They were like, "If we say it’s from heaven, Jesus will be all, 'Then why didn’t you believe him?' No cap."

32But if they said it was from people, they were shook 'cause everyone thought John was a legit prophet.

33They were like, "We can’t even." And Jesus was all, "I’m not spilling the tea on my authority either."

1And when they came nigh to Jerusalem, unto Bethphage and Bethany, at the mount of Olives, he sendeth forth two of his disciples,

2And saith unto them, Go your way into the village over against you: and as soon as ye be entered into it, ye shall find a colt tied, whereon never man sat; loose him, and bring him.

3And if any man say unto you, Why do ye this? say ye that the Lord hath need of him; and straightway he will send him hither.

4And they went their way, and found the colt tied by the door without in a place where two ways met; and they loose him.

5And certain of them that stood there said unto them, What do ye, loosing the colt?

6And they said unto them even as Jesus had commanded: and they let them go.

7And they brought the colt to Jesus, and cast their garments on him; and he sat upon him.

8And many spread their garments in the way: and others cut down branches off the trees, and strawed them in the way.

9And they that went before, and they that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna; Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord:

10Blessed be the kingdom of our father David, that cometh in the name of the Lord: Hosanna in the highest.

11And Jesus entered into Jerusalem, and into the temple: and when he had looked round about upon all things, and now the eventide was come, he went out unto Bethany with the twelve.

12And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry:

13And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

14And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

15And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves;

16And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple.

17And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves.

18And the scribes and chief priests heard it, and sought how they might destroy him: for they feared him, because all the people was astonished at his doctrine.

19And when even was come, he went out of the city.

20And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots.

21And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away.

22And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

23For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

24Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

25And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

27And they come again to Jerusalem: and as he was walking in the temple, there come to him the chief priests, and the scribes, and the elders,

28And say unto him, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority to do these things?

29And Jesus answered and said unto them, I will also ask of you one question, and answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I do these things.

30The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men? answer me.

31And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say, Why then did ye not believe him?

32But if we shall say, Of men; they feared the people: for all men counted John, that he was a prophet indeed.

33And they answered and said unto Jesus, We cannot tell. And Jesus answering saith unto them, Neither do I tell you by what authority I do these things.