1He gathered his twelve homies and gave them mad power over all the demons and to heal the sick.

2Then he sent them out to spread the good vibes of God’s kingdom and to help the sick.

3He was like, "Don’t bring anything for the trip, no sticks, no bags, no bread, no cash; don’t even pack two jackets."

4When you roll up to a crib, just chill there and then bounce when you’re ready.

5If anyone isn’t down to vibe with you when you leave that town, just shake the dust off your kicks as a flex against them.

6They dipped out and hit up the towns, preaching the good news and healing peeps everywhere.

7Herod the tetrarch heard about all the wild stuff happening and was shook, ‘cause some said John was back from the dead;

8and others said Elijah showed up; and some thought one of the old prophets was back in action.

9Herod was like, "I chopped John’s head off, but who is this dude I keep hearing about? I gotta see him."

10When the apostles came back, they spilled the tea on everything they did. He took them away to a chill spot out in the desert near Bethsaida.

11The squad figured it out and rolled with him. He was all about that kingdom of God vibe, healing everyone who needed it.

12As the day was winding down, the twelve came through and were like, "Yo, send the crowd away so they can hit up the towns for some food. We’re chillin' in the desert, no cap."

13But he was like, "Nah, you feed them." They replied, "We only got five loaves and two fish; we’d have to bounce to grab enough grub for all these peeps."

14There were about five thousand dudes there. He told his crew, "Have them sit down in groups of fifty."

15They did what he said and got everyone to sit down.

16Then he took those five loaves and two fish, looked up to heaven, blessed them, broke them, and gave to his crew to serve the crowd.

17They all ate and were stuffed, and they picked up twelve baskets of leftovers.

18Later, while he was chilling and praying solo, his crew was with him. He asked, "What are people saying about me?"

19They replied, "Some say you’re John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and some think you’re one of the old prophets back from the dead."

20He asked them, "But who do you say I am?" Peter was like, "You’re the Christ of God, fr."

21He was like, "Y’all better keep this on the down-low, no cap."

22He said, "The Son of Man's gonna go through some serious stuff, get rejected by the OGs, and then get taken out, but don’t trip, he’ll bounce back on day three."

23He told everyone, "If you wanna roll with me, you gotta ditch your ego, pick up your cross every day, and follow my lead."

24"Whoever tries to save their own vibe is gonna lose it; but if you give it up for me, you’ll end up saving it, fr."

25"What’s the point of stacking all the clout in the world if you lose yourself in the process? That’s just sus."

26"If you’re ashamed of me and my words, I’ll be lowkey embarrassed of you when I roll up in my glory, with my Dad and the holy squad."

27"Real talk, some of y’all here won’t even taste death until you peep the kingdom of God."

28"About a week later, he took Peter, John, and James up a mountain to pray, vibes."

29"While he was praying, his whole vibe changed, and his clothes were shining bright, like, wow."

30"And outta nowhere, two legends, Moses and Elijah, were chatting with him."

31Dude showed up all glorious and was like, “I gotta dip from this life in Jerusalem, fr.”

32But Peter and the squad were super sleepy, and when they finally woke up, they saw his glow and the two homies chillin’ with him.

33As they were bouncing, Peter was like, “Yo, Jesus, this vibe is dope! Let’s build three tents—one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elias,” not even knowing what he was saying.

34While he was talking, a cloud rolled in and covered them, and they were shook as they stepped into it.

35Then a voice came from the cloud, saying, “This is my beloved Son; you better listen to him.”

36Once the voice was gone, Jesus was solo. They kept it on the low and didn’t spill the tea about what they saw.

37The next day, when they came down from the hill, mad people showed up to see him.

38And, check it, a dude from the crowd yelled, “Master, please look at my son; he’s my only kid!”

39And, for real, a spirit messes with him, and he screams out; it’s a whole struggle and he’s foaming, like, savage vibes.

40I asked your crew to kick it out, but they couldn’t, no cap.

41Jesus was like, "Yo, this faithless and wild crew, how long I gotta chill with y'all? Bring your kid over here, no cap."

42As the kid was rolling up, the devil straight-up knocked him down. Jesus was like, "Chill, unclean spirit," and healed the kid, then sent him back to his dad.

43Everyone was shook at God's power, but while they were vibing over everything Jesus did, he turned to his squad and said,

44"Let these words hit different: the Son of Man is gonna get handed over to the homies."

45But they were totally lost on this and it was lowkey hidden from them, so they were too sus to ask him about it.

46Then they started debating who was the GOAT among them.

47Jesus peeped their thoughts, grabbed a kid, and brought him over.

48He said, "Whoever vibes with this kid in my name is vibing with me; and whoever vibes with me is vibing with the one who sent me. For real, the least among you is the one who's actually great."

49John was like, "Yo, Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, but we told him to stop 'cause he ain't rolling with us."

50Jesus said, "Don't stop him: if he ain't against us, he’s with us, periodt."

51So, when the time hit, he was like, "I’m vibing to Jerusalem," and he was super determined.

52He sent some peeps ahead to prep a spot for him in a Samaritan village.

53But they were sus and didn’t welcome him 'cause he looked like he was heading to Jerusalem.

54James and John saw this and were like, "Yo, should we call down fire from heaven and roast them like Elias did?"

55But he turned and was like, "Chill, you don’t even know what kind of vibe you’re on."

56For the Son of Man didn’t come to roast people, but to save them. Then they bounced to another village.

57As they were rolling, a dude said, "Lord, I’m down to follow you wherever."

58Jesus replied, "Foxes got their digs, birds got their nests, but the Son of Man ain't got a place to crash."

59He told another, "Follow me." But dude was like, "Wait, let me bury my pops first."

60Jesus was like, "Let the dead handle their own. You go out and spread the kingdom of God, periodt."

61Another dude was like, "Yo, Lord, I’m down to roll with you, but let me say bye to my peeps at home first."

62Jesus was like, "Nah fam, if you start this grind and keep looking back, you ain't ready for the kingdom of God."

1Then he called his twelve disciples together, and gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases.

2And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.

3And he said unto them, Take nothing for your journey, neither staves, nor scrip, neither bread, neither money; neither have two coats apiece.

4And whatsoever house ye enter into, there abide, and thence depart.

5And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them.

6And they departed, and went through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing every where.

7Now Herod the tetrarch heard of all that was done by him: and he was perplexed, because that it was said of some, that John was risen from the dead;

8And of some, that Elias had appeared; and of others, that one of the old prophets was risen again.

9And Herod said, John have I beheaded: but who is this, of whom I hear such things? And he desired to see him.

10And the apostles, when they were returned, told him all that they had done. And he took them, and went aside privately into a desert place belonging to the city called Bethsaida.

11And the people, when they knew it, followed him: and he received them, and spake unto them of the kingdom of God, and healed them that had need of healing.

12And when the day began to wear away, then came the twelve, and said unto him, Send the multitude away, that they may go into the towns and country round about, and lodge, and get victuals: for we are here in a desert place.

13But he said unto them, Give ye them to eat. And they said, We have no more but five loaves and two fishes; except we should go and buy meat for all this people.

14For they were about five thousand men. And he said to his disciples, Make them sit down by fifties in a company.

15And they did so, and made them all sit down.

16Then he took the five loaves and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed them, and brake, and gave to the disciples to set before the multitude.

17And they did eat, and were all filled: and there was taken up of fragments that remained to them twelve baskets.

18And it came to pass, as he was alone praying, his disciples were with him: and he asked them, saying, Whom say the people that I am?

19They answering said, John the Baptist; but some say, Elias; and others say, that one of the old prophets is risen again.

20He said unto them, But whom say ye that I am? Peter answering said, The Christ of God.

21And he straitly charged them, and commanded them to tell no man that thing;

22Saying, The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day.

23And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

24For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

25For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?

26For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels.

27But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God.

28And it came to pass about an eight days after these sayings, he took Peter and John and James, and went up into a mountain to pray.

29And as he prayed, the fashion of his countenance was altered, and his raiment was white and glistering.

30And, behold, there talked with him two men, which were Moses and Elias:

31Who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease which he should accomplish at Jerusalem.

32But Peter and they that were with him were heavy with sleep: and when they were awake, they saw his glory, and the two men that stood with him.

33And it came to pass, as they departed from him, Peter said unto Jesus, Master, it is good for us to be here: and let us make three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias: not knowing what he said.

34While he thus spake, there came a cloud, and overshadowed them: and they feared as they entered into the cloud.

35And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him.

36And when the voice was past, Jesus was found alone. And they kept it close, and told no man in those days any of those things which they had seen.

37And it came to pass, that on the next day, when they were come down from the hill, much people met him.

38And, behold, a man of the company cried out, saying, Master, I beseech thee, look upon my son: for he is mine only child.

39And, lo, a spirit taketh him, and he suddenly crieth out; and it teareth him that he foameth again, and bruising him hardly departeth from him.

40And I besought thy disciples to cast him out; and they could not.

41And Jesus answering said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you, and suffer you? Bring thy son hither.

42And as he was yet a coming, the devil threw him down, and tare him. And Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, and healed the child, and delivered him again to his father.

43And they were all amazed at the mighty power of God. But while they wondered every one at all things which Jesus did, he said unto his disciples,

44Let these sayings sink down into your ears: for the Son of man shall be delivered into the hands of men.

45But they understood not this saying, and it was hid from them, that they perceived it not: and they feared to ask him of that saying.

46Then there arose a reasoning among them, which of them should be greatest.

47And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a child, and set him by him,

48And said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great.

49And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbad him, because he followeth not with us.

50And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.

51And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem,

52And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him.

53And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem.

54And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?

55But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.

56For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.

57And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.

58And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

59And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.

60Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.

61And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.

62And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.