Luke 8

Gen Z: Luke 8

1After that, he was out here hitting up every city and village, spreading the good vibes of God's kingdom, and the twelve were rolling with him, no cap.

2And there were some women who got healed from bad vibes and sickness, like Mary Magdalene, who had seven demons chilling in her.

3Joanna, the wifey of Chuza, Herod’s steward, Susanna, and a bunch of others were out here supporting him with what they had, that’s just goated.

4When a huge crowd gathered around him from all over, he dropped some wisdom with a parable, it was lit.

5A sower went out to toss some seeds, and some hit the road; they got trampled, and the birds just swooped in and snatched it up, savage.

6Some seeds landed on rock; as soon as they sprouted, they withered away 'cause they were thirsty, fr.

7Some seeds fell among thorns; the thorns grew up too and choked them out, sus.

8But other seeds landed on good soil, sprouted, and produced a hundredfold. After sharing this, he shouted, "If you got ears, listen up!"

9His crew asked him, "What’s the deal with this parable?"

10He said, "You guys get to know the secrets of God's kingdom, but for others, it’s all parables; they see but don’t really see, hear but don’t really get it."

11The parable is lowkey this: The seed is basically the word of God, fr.

12Those chilling on the sidelines hear it, but then the devil swoops in and snatches the word from their hearts, so they can't believe and get saved, no cap.

13The ones on the rock hear it and vibe with joy, but they have no roots, so when things get tough, they dip out.

14The ones that fell among thorns heard it too, but they get choked by life’s worries and riches, so they don’t produce any real fruit, sus.

15But the ones on good ground are real ones, they hear the word, keep it, and patiently bring forth some dope fruit.

16No one lights a candle and hides it, they put it on a stand so everyone can see that light, periodt.

17Nothing stays secret forever; everything hidden is gonna be revealed, no cap.

18So be careful how you listen: whoever has will get more, and whoever doesn’t have will lose even what they think they got, fr.

19Then his mom and bros showed up but couldn’t get to him 'cause of the crowd, savage.

20Someone told him, "Your mom and bros are outside wanting to see you," and that’s the tea.

21He was like, "Yo, my fam is the ones who vibe with God's word and actually do it."

22One day, he hopped on a boat with his crew and was like, "Let’s bounce to the other side of the lake." So they set sail.

23But while they were cruising, he knocked out, and then a storm popped off, flooding the boat and putting them in danger.

24They woke him up, shouting, "Master, we’re gonna drown!" He got up, told the wind and waves to chill, and everything went calm, no cap.

25He asked them, "Where’s your faith?" They were shook and whispered to each other, "Who is this dude? He even tells the wind and water what to do, and they listen!"

26They rolled up to the land of the Gadarenes, which was across from Galilee.

27When he stepped off the boat, a dude from the city met him, totally possessed, wearing no clothes and living in tombs.

28When he saw Jesus, he screamed and fell down, saying, "What’s up with me and you, Jesus, Son of the Most High? Please don’t mess with me."

29(He had told the unclean spirit to dip out of the guy. The spirit had been wilding, tying him up with chains, but he broke free and was thrown into the wilderness by the devil.)

30Jesus asked him, "What’s your name?" He replied, "Legion," 'cause a bunch of devils had entered him.

31They were like, "Yo, don’t make us dip into the deep end."

32There were pigs vibing on the hill, and they were like, "Let us roll with them." And he was cool with it.

33The demons bounced outta the dude and hopped into the pigs, who then dipped down the hill into the lake and got choked.

34The pig feeders saw the chaos and ghosted, telling everyone in the city and countryside.

35They went to check it out and found the dude chilling at Jesus' feet, dressed and totally sane, and they were shook.

36Those who witnessed it spilled the tea on how the possessed dude got healed.

37The whole squad from Gadarenes begged him to bounce because they were straight-up scared, so he hopped into a boat and dipped.

38The dude who got freed from the demons was like, "Let me roll with you," but Jesus was like, "Nah, fam."

39He told him, "Go back home and flex on how God came through for you." So he bounced and told the whole city how lit Jesus was.

40When Jesus came back, the people were hyped to see him because they were all waiting for the comeback.

41Ayo, check it, this dude named Jairus rolls up, he's like the big boss of the synagogue, and he straight-up drops to Jesus' feet, begging him to come to his crib.

42He had one daughter, like twelve years old, and she was on her last leg. But as he was on his way, the crowd was all up in his space.

43Then a woman with a blood issue for twelve years, who spent all her cash on docs, couldn’t get healed by any of them, pulled up.

44She snuck up behind him and touched the hem of his outfit, and boom, her bleeding stopped instantly.

45Jesus was like, "Who touched me?" Everyone was denying it, but Peter and his crew were like, "Master, the crowd’s wildin' and you wanna know who touched you?"

46Jesus was like, "Nah, someone definitely touched me; I felt that good energy leave me."

47When the woman realized she couldn’t hide anymore, she came forward, shaking and fell at his feet, telling everyone how she touched him and got healed on the spot.

48Jesus told her, "Daughter, chill out; your faith made you whole. Go live your best life in peace."

49While he was still talking, someone from Jairus' house showed up, saying, "Yo, your daughter’s gone; don’t bother the Master."

50But Jesus heard that and said, "Don’t trip; just believe, and she’ll be all good."

51When he rolled up to the crib, he only let Peter, James, John, and her parents in. No cap.

52Everyone was crying hard, but he was like, "Chill, she’s just napping, not dead."

53They straight-up laughed at him, thinking she was gone for real.

54He kicked everyone out, grabbed her hand, and said, "Yo, get up."

55Her spirit came back, and she popped up right away: he told them to feed her.

56Her folks were shook, but he told them to keep it on the low about what just went down.

KJV: Luke 8

1And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him,

2And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,

3And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance.

4And when much people were gathered together, and were come to him out of every city, he spake by a parable:

5A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.

6And some fell upon a rock; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture.

7And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it.

8And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

9And his disciples asked him, saying, What might this parable be?

10And he said, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God: but to others in parables; that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand.

11Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God.

12Those by the way side are they that hear; then cometh the devil, and taketh away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved.

13They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe, and in time of temptation fall away.

14And that which fell among thorns are they, which, when they have heard, go forth, and are choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.

15But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.

16No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light.

17For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.

18Take heed therefore how ye hear: for whosoever hath, to him shall be given; and whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he seemeth to have.

19Then came to him his mother and his brethren, and could not come at him for the press.

20And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee.

21And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it.

22Now it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a ship with his disciples: and he said unto them, Let us go over unto the other side of the lake. And they launched forth.

23But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water, and were in jeopardy.

24And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was a calm.

25And he said unto them, Where is your faith? And they being afraid wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him.

26And they arrived at the country of the Gadarenes, which is over against Galilee.

27And when he went forth to land, there met him out of the city a certain man, which had devils long time, and ware no clothes, neither abode in any house, but in the tombs.

28When he saw Jesus, he cried out, and fell down before him, and with a loud voice said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God most high? I beseech thee, torment me not.

29(For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in fetters; and he brake the bands, and was driven of the devil into the wilderness.)

30And Jesus asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Legion: because many devils were entered into him.

31And they besought him that he would not command them to go out into the deep.

32And there was there an herd of many swine feeding on the mountain: and they besought him that he would suffer them to enter into them. And he suffered them.

33Then went the devils out of the man, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the lake, and were choked.

34When they that fed them saw what was done, they fled, and went and told it in the city and in the country.

35Then they went out to see what was done; and came to Jesus, and found the man, out of whom the devils were departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.

36They also which saw it told them by what means he that was possessed of the devils was healed.

37Then the whole multitude of the country of the Gadarenes round about besought him to depart from them; for they were taken with great fear: and he went up into the ship, and returned back again.

38Now the man out of whom the devils were departed besought him that he might be with him: but Jesus sent him away, saying,

39Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee. And he went his way, and published throughout the whole city how great things Jesus had done unto him.

40And it came to pass, that, when Jesus was returned, the people gladly received him: for they were all waiting for him.

41And, behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue: and he fell down at Jesus’ feet, and besought him that he would come into his house:

42For he had one only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she lay a dying. But as he went the people thronged him.

43And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,

44Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.

45And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?

46And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.

47And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.

48And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.

49While he yet spake, there cometh one from the ruler of the synagogue’s house, saying to him, Thy daughter is dead; trouble not the Master.

50But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole.

51And when he came into the house, he suffered no man to go in, save Peter, and James, and John, and the father and the mother of the maiden.

52And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said, Weep not; she is not dead, but sleepeth.

53And they laughed him to scorn, knowing that she was dead.

54And he put them all out, and took her by the hand, and called, saying, Maid, arise.

55And her spirit came again, and she arose straightway: and he commanded to give her meat.

56And her parents were astonished: but he charged them that they should tell no man what was done.

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