1So, like, Jesus rolls up to this Pharisee's crib to grab some bread on the Sabbath, and they’re all just watching him, sus vibes.

2Then, peep this, there’s this dude with dropsy chilling in front of him.

3Jesus straight up asks the lawyers and Pharisees, "Is it cool to heal on the Sabbath?"

4They went silent. Jesus took the dude, healed him, and was like, "You’re good, fam."

5He’s like, "Which one of you wouldn’t pull your donkey or ox outta a pit on the Sabbath? No cap."

6They were shook and had no reply for him, fr.

7Jesus dropped a parable for the guests, noticing how they were picking the top spots, saying,

8"When you get invited to a wedding, don’t snag the VIP seat; what if someone more lit shows up?"

9"Then the host will be like, 'Yo, move down,' and you’ll be feeling hella embarrassed."

10"But for real, sit in the low-key spot; then when the host shows up, he’ll be like, 'Yo, come up higher,' and you’ll be vibing with the crew."

11Whoever thinks they’re all that is gonna get put in their place; but if you keep it humble, you’ll rise up.

12He told the dude who invited him, "When you throw a dinner, don’t just call your homies or fam; don’t expect them to return the favor."

13But when you throw a feast, invite the poor, the broken, the lame, and the blind; that’s the real vibe check.

14You’ll be blessed for sure; they can’t repay you, but you’ll get your rewards when the good peeps rise up.

15One of the guys chillin' at the table heard this and said, "For real, blessed are those who get to eat in God’s kingdom."

16Then he dropped this: "A certain dude threw a big dinner and invited a bunch of people."

17He sent his servant at dinner time to tell those invited, "Yo, everything’s ready, come through!"

18But everyone started making excuses. The first guy said, "I just bought some land, gotta check it out, no cap."

19Another said, "I just copped five oxen, gotta test them out, please let me slide."

20And another dude was like, "I just got married, so I can’t make it."

21So the servant pulled up and told his boss what’s good. The master got mad and was like, “Bet, go hit the streets and grab the poor, the broken, the lame, and the blind.”

22The servant was like, “Aight, I did what you said, but we still got space, no cap.”

23The lord told the servant, “Go out to the highways and hedges and make sure they pop off to my crib, so it’s lit.”

24For real, I’m telling you, none of those who were invited are gonna vibe with my feast.

25A bunch of people were rolling with him, and he turned to them and said,

26“If anyone wants to roll with me but doesn’t hate their fam and even their own life, they can’t be my ride or die.”

27“And if you don’t carry your cross and follow me, you can’t be my homie.”

28“Which one of you, trying to build a tower, doesn’t sit down first and check if you got the coins to finish it?”

29“Otherwise, once you lay the foundation and can’t finish, everyone’s gonna roast you.”

30“They’ll be like, ‘This dude started building but couldn’t even finish, sus.’”

31Like, what king goes into battle without checking if he can roll up with ten thousand against twenty thousand? Major sus vibes.

32If not, while the other squad is still far away, he sends a squad to ask for peace. Straight up smart move.

33So, for real, if you ain't ready to drop everything you got, you can't roll with me as my disciple. No cap.

34Salt is lit, but if it loses its flavor, what’s the point? Like, fr, how do you season anything then?

35It ain't good for the land or the trash; people just toss it out. If you got ears, listen up.

1And it came to pass, as he went into the house of one of the chief Pharisees to eat bread on the sabbath day, that they watched him.

2And, behold, there was a certain man before him which had the dropsy.

3And Jesus answering spake unto the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath day?

4And they held their peace. And he took him, and healed him, and let him go;

5And answered them, saying, Which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit, and will not straightway pull him out on the sabbath day?

6And they could not answer him again to these things.

7And he put forth a parable to those which were bidden, when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them,

8When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;

9And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.

10But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.

11For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

12Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee.

13But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind:

14And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just.

15And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.

16Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:

17And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.

18And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused.

19And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused.

20And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.

21So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind.

22And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room.

23And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.

24For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.

25And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,

26If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

27And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

28For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

29Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,

30Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

31Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand?

32Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

33So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

34Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned?

35It is neither fit for the land, nor yet for the dunghill; but men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.