1All the publicans and sinners rolled up to hear him, no cap.

2The Pharisees and scribes were lowkey complaining, like, "This dude hangs with sinners and eats with them?"

3So he dropped this parable on them, saying,

4"Which of you has a hundred sheep and loses one? Do you not leave the ninety-nine in the wild and go find the lost one?"

5And when he finds it, he throws it on his shoulders, vibing hard.

6When he gets home, he calls up his friends and neighbors, saying, "Yo, celebrate with me; I found my lost sheep!"

7I'm telling you, there's mad joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, more than over ninety-nine good people who don’t need to change.

8Or what woman, having ten coins, if she loses one, doesn’t light a candle, sweep the house, and search until she finds it?

9And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors, saying, "Let’s vibe; I found the coin I lost!"

10For real, I’m telling you, there’s joy in the presence of God's angels over one sinner who repents.

11So this dude had two sons, vibes on vibes.

12The younger one was like, "Dad, gimme my share of the cash," and pops was like, "Bet, here you go."

13Not long after, the younger son packed his bags and dipped to a faraway place, living it up and blowing all his cash.

14Then, boom, a major famine hit, and he was straight up struggling.

15He went and linked up with a local dude who sent him to the fields to chill with pigs.

16He was so hungry he wanted to munch on the pig slop, but no one was helping him out, no cap.

17Then he had a lightbulb moment and thought, "My dad's workers have food to spare, and here I am starving!"

18So he decided to bounce back to his pops and say, "Dad, I messed up big time in heaven and with you."

19"I'm not even worthy to be your son anymore; just make me one of your workers, fr."

20He got up and headed home, and when his dad saw him from far away, he felt all the feels, ran to him, and gave him a hug and a kiss.

21The son was like, "Dad, I totally messed up, I’m not even worthy to be called your son anymore. No cap."

22But the dad was like, "Yo, bring the freshest robe, throw it on him, slap a ring on his hand, and hook him up with some kicks."

23"And bring that lit calf over here, let’s feast and vibe!"

24"My son was basically dead, but now he’s alive; he was lost, but now we found him. Time to pop off and celebrate!"

25Meanwhile, the older son was out in the fields; as he came back to the crib, he heard music and dancing.

26He called one of the servants and was like, "What’s the tea?"

27The servant said, "Your bro is back, and your dad just killed the fat calf 'cause he’s back safe and sound."

28The older son got hella mad and refused to go in; so his dad came out and was like, "Chill, fam."

29The older son snapped back, "I’ve been grinding for you all these years, never broke your rules, and you never gave me a goat to chill with my crew."

30"But as soon as this dude shows up, who wasted your cash with wild parties, you throw him a feast? That’s savage!"

31He said, "Yo, my dude, you’re always with me, and everything I got is yours, no cap."

32We gotta celebrate and vibe, 'cause your bro was gone and now he’s back; he was lost, and now he’s found, fr.

1Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.

2And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.

3And he spake this parable unto them, saying,

4What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

5And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

6And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

7I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

8Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it?

9And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost.

10Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.

11And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

25Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

27And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

29And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

30But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

31And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.