Genesis 35

Gen Z: Genesis 35

1God was like, "Yo Jacob, get up, head to Beth-el, and chill there. Build an altar for me, the one who had your back when you dipped from Esau."

2Jacob told his fam and everyone rollin' with him, "Time to ditch those sus gods and clean up your act, fam. Change those fits."

3"Let's bounce to Beth-el; I'll build an altar for the God who came through for me when I was stressed, and who vibed with me on my journey."

4They handed Jacob all the sus gods and earrings they had, and Jacob buried them under an oak by Shechem, keeping it low-key.

5They were on the move, and God's presence was on the cities around them, so no one dared to mess with Jacob's crew.

6Jacob rolled up to Luz, which is in Canaan, aka Beth-el, with all the peeps who were with him.

7He built an altar there and named the spot El-beth-el because that's where God showed up when he was running from his bro.

8But then Deborah, Rebekah’s nurse, passed away, and they buried her under an oak at Beth-el, calling the spot Allon-bachuth.

9God pulled up to Jacob again when he left Padan-aram and blessed him, no cap.

10God said, "Your name is Jacob, but from now on, you’re Israel; that’s the new vibe." And he called him Israel, periodt.

11And God said, "Yo, I’m the OG Almighty. Go and make more peeps; nations and kings are gonna come from you, no cap."

12"The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac? Yeah, it's all yours now, and your fam after you, periodt."

13Then God dipped from him in the spot where they were vibing.

14Jacob built a dope pillar where they chatted, tossed some drink offerings on it, and poured oil too.

15Jacob called that spot Beth-el, 'cause that’s where God dropped the wisdom.

16They bounced from Beth-el; it was just a short trip to Ephrath, but Rachel was in major struggle mode.

17While she was grinding through it, the midwife said, "Don’t trip; you’re having this baby too."

18As she was about to peace out (she died), she named him Ben-oni, but his dad was like, "Nah, he’s Benjamin now."

19Rachel passed away and got laid to rest on the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.

20Jacob set up a pillar on her grave; that’s still Rachel’s spot to this day.

21Israel was on the move, setting up his tent past the Edar tower. Vibes.

22While chilling in that land, Reuben went and got with Bilhah, his dad's side chick, and Israel caught wind of it. No cap, Jacob had twelve sons.

23The sons of Leah: Reuben, the OG, then Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun.

24The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin, keeping it tight.

25And the sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s handmaid: Dan and Naphtali, just vibing.

26Sons of Zilpah, Leah’s handmaid: Gad and Asher. These are Jacob’s crew born in Padan–aram.

27Jacob rolled up to his dad Isaac in Mamre, the city of Arbah, aka Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac were chilling.

28Isaac lived an epic 180 years, straight up.

29Isaac passed away, joined his peeps, old and wise, and his sons Esau and Jacob handled the burial.

KJV: Genesis 35

1And God said unto Jacob, Arise, go up to Beth–el, and dwell there: and make there an altar unto God, that appeared unto thee when thou fleddest from the face of Esau thy brother.

2Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:

3And let us arise, and go up to Beth–el; and I will make there an altar unto God, who answered me in the day of my distress, and was with me in the way which I went.

4And they gave unto Jacob all the strange gods which were in their hand, and all their earrings which were in their ears; and Jacob hid them under the oak which was by Shechem.

5And they journeyed: and the terror of God was upon the cities that were round about them, and they did not pursue after the sons of Jacob.

6So Jacob came to Luz, which is in the land of Canaan, that is, Beth–el, he and all the people that were with him.

7And he built there an altar, and called the place El–beth–el: because there God appeared unto him, when he fled from the face of his brother.

8But Deborah Rebekah’s nurse died, and she was buried beneath Beth–el under an oak: and the name of it was called Allon–bachuth.

9And God appeared unto Jacob again, when he came out of Padan–aram, and blessed him.

10And God said unto him, Thy name is Jacob: thy name shall not be called any more Jacob, but Israel shall be thy name: and he called his name Israel.

11And God said unto him, I am God Almighty: be fruitful and multiply; a nation and a company of nations shall be of thee, and kings shall come out of thy loins;

12And the land which I gave Abraham and Isaac, to thee I will give it, and to thy seed after thee will I give the land.

13And God went up from him in the place where he talked with him.

14And Jacob set up a pillar in the place where he talked with him, even a pillar of stone: and he poured a drink offering thereon, and he poured oil thereon.

15And Jacob called the name of the place where God spake with him, Beth–el.

16And they journeyed from Beth–el; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour.

17And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also.

18And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Ben–oni: but his father called him Benjamin.

19And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Beth–lehem.

20And Jacob set a pillar upon her grave: that is the pillar of Rachel’s grave unto this day.

21And Israel journeyed, and spread his tent beyond the tower of Edar.

22And it came to pass, when Israel dwelt in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine: and Israel heard it. Now the sons of Jacob were twelve:

23The sons of Leah; Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn, and Simeon, and Levi, and Judah, and Issachar, and Zebulun:

24The sons of Rachel; Joseph, and Benjamin:

25And the sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s handmaid; Dan, and Naphtali:

26And the sons of Zilpah, Leah’s handmaid; Gad, and Asher: these are the sons of Jacob, which were born to him in Padan–aram.

27And Jacob came unto Isaac his father unto Mamre, unto the city of Arbah, which is Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac sojourned.

28And the days of Isaac were an hundred and fourscore years.

29And Isaac gave up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people, being old and full of days: and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.

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