1Dinah, Leah’s daughter, just vibin’ out to see the local girls.

2Shechem, the prince, spots her and goes full savage, takes her, and they get it on.

3Dude was all about Dinah, like, “You’re the one,” and was sweet-talking her.

4Shechem told his dad Hamor, “Yo, I need this girl as my wifey.”

5Jacob found out his daughter got played, but he stayed chill while his sons were out in the fields.

6Hamor, Shechem’s dad, rolled up to Jacob to chat it out.

7Jacob's sons came back and were super mad, like, “This is so sus, bro!”

8Hamor was like, “My son is totally into your daughter; can we make this a thing?”

9Let’s vibe together, y’all give us your girls, and we’ll give you ours.

10You can chill with us, and the land is yours to do your thing and make moves.

11Shechem was like, "Yo, let me vibe with your fam, and whatever you want, I gotchu."

12"Hit me up with any dowry or gifts, and I’ll drop it all, just let me wifey up your girl."

13Jacob's boys were sus and answered Shechem and his dad with some major deception, 'cause he messed with their sister Dinah.

14They said, "No cap, we can't do that. We can't give our sis to someone who's not circumcised; that's just savage."

15"But if you get snipped like us, we can make it work."

16"Then we’ll hook up our daughters with you, and we’ll chill together as one big fam."

17"But if you don’t listen and get circumcised, we’re taking our daughter and bouncing."

18Hamor and Shechem were feeling what they said, for real.

19The dude didn’t wait to get it done, 'cause he was totally into Jacob's daughter, and he was the rizz king of his fam.

20Hamor and Shechem rolled up to the city gate, chatting it up with the locals.

21These dudes are chill with us, so let them vibe here and trade; the land's big enough for everyone. Let's scoop their daughters for wifey material, and we’ll give them ours too.

22The only way they’re down to stick around and be one crew is if all the guys get circumcised, just like they are.

23Aren’t their cows and all their stuff gonna be ours? Just let’s agree, and they’ll chill with us.

24Everyone who rolled outta the city gate listened to Hamor and Shechem, and all the dudes got circumcised.

25On day three, when they were hurting, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, grabbed their swords and rolled up on the city, taking out all the guys.

26They took out Hamor and his son Shechem with their swords, grabbed Dinah from Shechem’s crib, and bounced.

27Jacob's sons came through on the fallen and looted the city 'cause they messed with their sister.

28They snatched their sheep, oxen, and donkeys, plus whatever was in the city and fields.

29They took all their cash, little ones, and wives captive, and raided everything in the house.

30Jacob told Simeon and Levi, "Y’all made me look sus among the locals, the Canaanites and Perizzites. We’re lowkey outnumbered, and they might gang up on me and take me out; that's a big no cap for me and my fam."

31They were like, "Should he treat our sis like she’s just some random?"

1And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land.

2And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her.

3And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.

4And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife.

5And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter: now his sons were with his cattle in the field: and Jacob held his peace until they were come.

6And Hamor the father of Shechem went out unto Jacob to commune with him.

7And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it: and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob’s daughter; which thing ought not to be done.

8And Hamor communed with them, saying, The soul of my son Shechem longeth for your daughter: I pray you give her him to wife.

9And make ye marriages with us, and give your daughters unto us, and take our daughters unto you.

10And ye shall dwell with us: and the land shall be before you; dwell and trade ye therein, and get you possessions therein.

11And Shechem said unto her father and unto her brethren, Let me find grace in your eyes, and what ye shall say unto me I will give.

12Ask me never so much dowry and gift, and I will give according as ye shall say unto me: but give me the damsel to wife.

13And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:

14And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us:

15But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;

16Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.

17But if ye will not hearken unto us, to be circumcised; then will we take our daughter, and we will be gone.

18And their words pleased Hamor, and Shechem Hamor’s son.

19And the young man deferred not to do the thing, because he had delight in Jacob’s daughter: and he was more honourable than all the house of his father.

20And Hamor and Shechem his son came unto the gate of their city, and communed with the men of their city, saying,

21These men are peaceable with us; therefore let them dwell in the land, and trade therein; for the land, behold, it is large enough for them; let us take their daughters to us for wives, and let us give them our daughters.

22Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.

23Shall not their cattle and their substance and every beast of theirs be ours? only let us consent unto them, and they will dwell with us.

24And unto Hamor and unto Shechem his son hearkened all that went out of the gate of his city; and every male was circumcised, all that went out of the gate of his city.

25And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.

26And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house, and went out.

27The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.

28They took their sheep, and their oxen, and their asses, and that which was in the city, and that which was in the field,

29And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.

30And Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, Ye have troubled me to make me to stink among the inhabitants of the land, among the Canaanites and the Perizzites: and I being few in number, they shall gather themselves together against me, and slay me; and I shall be destroyed, I and my house.

31And they said, Should he deal with our sister as with an harlot?