Gen Z: 2 Kings 13
1In the 23rd year of Joash, son of Ahaziah, king of Judah, Jehoahaz, son of Jehu, started his reign over Israel in Samaria, and he ruled for 17 years.
2He was straight-up sus in the eyes of the Lord, following the bad vibes of Jeroboam, who got Israel to sin; he didn’t dip from that.
3The Lord was mad af at Israel and handed them over to Hazael, king of Syria, and his son Ben-hadad, all their days.
4Jehoahaz hit up the Lord for help, and the Lord heard him, 'cause he saw how Israel was getting oppressed by Syria.
5(So the Lord sent a savior for Israel, and they bounced back from under the Syrians, chilling in their tents like before.
6But they still didn’t stop the sus vibes from Jeroboam, who made Israel sin, and they kept walking in that; the grove was still there in Samaria.)
7Jehoahaz had only 50 horsemen, 10 chariots, and 10,000 footmen left, 'cause the king of Syria wrecked them like dust.
8The rest of what Jehoahaz did, all his rizz and might, isn’t that written in the chronicles of the kings of Israel?
9Jehoahaz passed away and was buried in Samaria; then his son Joash took over.
10In the 37th year of Joash, king of Judah, Jehoash, son of Jehoahaz, started his reign over Israel in Samaria, ruling for 16 years.
11He was also sus in the eyes of the Lord, not leaving the bad vibes of Jeroboam, who made Israel sin; he walked in it.
12The rest of Joash’s acts, all he did and his rizz in fighting against Amaziah, aren't they written in the chronicles of the kings of Israel?
13Joash passed away and was buried with the kings of Israel; then Jeroboam took the throne.
14Now Elisha got sick and died. Joash, king of Israel, came to him, crying, and said, “My father, my father, the chariot of Israel and its horsemen!”
15Elisha told him, “Grab a bow and some arrows.” So he took them.
16He said to the king of Israel, “Put your hand on the bow.” He did, and Elisha put his hands on the king’s hands.
17Elisha said, “Open the window eastward.” He opened it, and then Elisha said, “Shoot.” He shot, and Elisha said, “That’s the arrow of the Lord’s deliverance, you’re gonna smack the Syrians in Aphek until they’re done.”
18He said, “Take the arrows.” He took them, and Elisha said to the king, “Hit the ground.” He hit it three times and stopped.
19The man of God was mad and said, “You should’ve hit it five or six times; then you would’ve wiped out Syria, but now you’ll only hit them three times.”
20Elisha died, and they buried him. Moabite raiders invaded the land at the start of the year.
21As they were burying a dude, they spotted some men, so they tossed the guy into Elisha’s tomb; when he touched Elisha’s bones, he came back to life and stood up.
22But Hazael, king of Syria, kept oppressing Israel all the days of Jehoahaz.
23The Lord was mad chill with them, had compassion, and remembered his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, so he didn’t destroy them or kick them out of his presence yet.
24So Hazael, king of Syria, died; and his son Ben-hadad took the throne.
25Jehoash, son of Jehoahaz, took back cities from Ben-hadad, which he had snatched from Jehoahaz by war. Three times Joash went off and got the cities of Israel back.