1When the morning hit, all the top priests and elders were like, "Let's plot against Jesus to get him outta here."

2They tied him up and bounced him over to Pontius Pilate, the governor dude.

3Then Judas, who totally sold him out, realized he messed up and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, no cap.

4He was like, "I messed up for betraying innocent blood." And they were like, "What’s that to us? You do you."

5He threw the silver pieces down in the temple, dipped, and went to hang himself, that's savage.

6The chief priests picked up the silver and were like, "We can’t put this in the treasury, it’s blood money."

7They schemed and bought a potter’s field to bury the outsiders in.

8So that field got the name, The field of blood, and it’s still called that today.

9Then what Jeremy the prophet said came true, saying, "They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of the one who was valued, which the kids of Israel thought was worth."

10And they used it for the potter’s field, just like the Lord told me to do, periodt.

11So Jesus is standing in front of the governor, and the governor's like, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus is like, "You said it, fam."

12When the chief priests and elders came at him, he just stayed silent, no cap.

13Pilate's like, "You hear all these peeps ratting on you?"

14But Jesus didn’t say a word, and Pilate was shook, fr.

15At that feast, the governor always let one prisoner go, whoever the crowd wanted, vibe check.

16They had this notorious dude named Barabbas.

17So when they all gathered, Pilate asked, "Who do you want me to let go? Barabbas or Jesus, who they call Christ?"

18Pilate knew they were just jealous and threw him under the bus.

19When he sat down to judge, his wife hit him up, saying, "Don’t mess with that righteous dude; I had a wild dream about him today."

20But the chief priests and elders rallied the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to take Jesus out, that’s savage.

21The governor was like, "Who do you want me to let go, Barabbas or the other dude?" They were all, "Barabbas, for sure."

22Pilate asked, "So what should I do with Jesus, aka Christ?" They all yelled, "Crucify him, no cap!"

23The governor was like, "What did he even do wrong?" But they just yelled louder, "Crucify him!"

24When Pilate saw the chaos was lit, he washed his hands in front of everyone and was like, "I’m not responsible for this guy’s blood, you do you."

25The crowd replied, "His blood is on us and our kids, periodt."

26Then he let Barabbas go and after giving Jesus a savage beatdown, he handed him over to be crucified.

27The governor's soldiers took Jesus to the squad room and gathered all their homies around him.

28They stripped him down and threw a red robe on him, just for vibes.

29Then they made a crown of thorns and put it on his head, gave him a stick for a scepter, and bowed down laughing, saying, "What’s up, King of the Jews!"

30They spit on him and hit him on the head with the stick, just straight up disrespectful.

31After they roasted him, they took off his drip and put his old fit back on, then led him away to get crucified.

32As they rolled out, they found this dude Simon from Cyrene and made him carry the cross, no cap.

33When they hit up a spot called Golgotha, which literally means Skull Place, it was a vibe.

34They gave him some vinegar mixed with gall to drink, but when he tasted it, he was like, "Nah, I'm good."

35They crucified him and split his clothes, rolling dice to see who got what, just like the prophet said, "They divided my clothes among them."

36They just sat there, watching him like it was a whole show.

37They put a sign above his head that said, "THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS."

38Then they had two thieves getting crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left, straight savage.

39Those who passed by were hating on him, shaking their heads like it was a whole mood.

40They were like, "You who destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you really the Son of God, come down from that cross."

41Meanwhile, the top priests were throwing shade at him, along with the scribes and elders, saying,

42"He saved others, but can't save himself? If he's the King of Israel, let him hop off that cross, and we'll believe, no cap."

43"He trusted in God; let God save him now if He's really about that life, 'cause he said he's the Son of God."

44The criminals getting crucified with him were also spitting the same insults.

45From noon, it was dark all over the land until about 3 PM, like a total vibe shift.

46Around 3 PM, Jesus shouted loud, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why you ghosting me?"

47Some peeps standing there heard him and were like, "Ayo, he’s calling for Elijah."

48Right away, one of them ran, grabbed a sponge, soaked it in vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to him to sip.

49The others were like, "Chill, let's see if Elijah shows up to save him."

50Jesus, after crying out again with a loud voice, gave up the ghost.

51And like, the temple curtain just ripped from top to bottom; the earth shook, and the rocks were like, "No cap, we’re breaking too."

52And the graves popped open; a bunch of saints who were napping came back to life, fr.

53They rolled out of the graves after Jesus bounced back, hit the holy city, and showed up to a lot of peeps.

54So when the centurion and his crew saw the quake and all the wild stuff happening, they were shook, saying, "For real, this was the Son of God."

55And a bunch of women were there, watching from a distance, who had been vibing with Jesus from Galilee, serving him.

56Among them was Mary Magdalene, Mary the mom of James and Joses, and the mom of Zebedee’s kids.

57When evening hit, a rich dude from Arimathea named Joseph, who was also a disciple of Jesus, showed up.

58He went to Pilate and was like, "Yo, can I have Jesus’ body?" Then Pilate was like, "Bet, you can take it."

59After Joseph took the body, he wrapped it in a fresh linen cloth, no cap.

60And he laid it in his brand new tomb he carved out in the rock, then rolled a big stone in front of the entrance and bounced.

61And there was Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, just chilling by the tomb, vibing.

62The next day, after prep day, the chief priests and Pharisees pulled up on Pilate, no cap.

63They were like, "Yo, we remember that dude said, while he was alive, ‘I’ll bounce back in three days.’"

64So they told Pilate, "Make sure the tomb is secured until day three, or else his squad might sneak in, steal him, and say he’s alive. That’d be savage."

65Pilate was like, "You got a guard: do your thing, make it as tight as you can."

66So they dipped, secured the tomb, rolled the stone, and set up a watch, periodt.

1When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death:

2And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor.

3Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,

4Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that.

5And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.

6And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, It is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because it is the price of blood.

7And they took counsel, and bought with them the potter’s field, to bury strangers in.

8Wherefore that field was called, The field of blood, unto this day.

9Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremy the prophet, saying, And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him that was valued, whom they of the children of Israel did value;

10And gave them for the potter’s field, as the Lord appointed me.

11And Jesus stood before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest.

12And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing.

13Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee?

14And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly.

15Now at that feast the governor was wont to release unto the people a prisoner, whom they would.

16And they had then a notable prisoner, called Barabbas.

17Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ?

18For he knew that for envy they had delivered him.

19When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.

20But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Barabbas, and destroy Jesus.

21The governor answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Barabbas.

22Pilate saith unto them, What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ? They all say unto him, Let him be crucified.

23And the governor said, Why, what evil hath he done? But they cried out the more, saying, Let him be crucified.

24When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it.

25Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.

26Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.

27Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers.

28And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe.

29And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews!

30And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head.

31And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him.

32And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name: him they compelled to bear his cross.

33And when they were come unto a place called Golgotha, that is to say, a place of a skull,

34They gave him vinegar to drink mingled with gall: and when he had tasted thereof, he would not drink.

35And they crucified him, and parted his garments, casting lots: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, They parted my garments among them, and upon my vesture did they cast lots.

36And sitting down they watched him there;

37And set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

38Then were there two thieves crucified with him, one on the right hand, and another on the left.

39And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads,

40And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.

41Likewise also the chief priests mocking him, with the scribes and elders, said,

42He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him.

43He trusted in God; let him deliver him now, if he will have him: for he said, I am the Son of God.

44The thieves also, which were crucified with him, cast the same in his teeth.

45Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour.

46And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

47Some of them that stood there, when they heard that, said, This man calleth for Elias.

48And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink.

49The rest said, Let be, let us see whether Elias will come to save him.

50Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.

51And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;

52And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

53And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

54Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God.

55And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him:

56Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee’s children.

57When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus’ disciple:

58He went to Pilate, and begged the body of Jesus. Then Pilate commanded the body to be delivered.

59And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth,

60And laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock: and he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulchre, and departed.

61And there was Mary Magdalene, and the other Mary, sitting over against the sepulchre.

62Now the next day, that followed the day of the preparation, the chief priests and Pharisees came together unto Pilate,

63Saying, Sir, we remember that that deceiver said, while he was yet alive, After three days I will rise again.

64Command therefore that the sepulchre be made sure until the third day, lest his disciples come by night, and steal him away, and say unto the people, He is risen from the dead: so the last error shall be worse than the first.

65Pilate said unto them, Ye have a watch: go your way, make it as sure as ye can.

66So they went, and made the sepulchre sure, sealing the stone, and setting a watch.