1So he called up his twelve homies and gave them the rizz to kick out bad vibes and heal all the sick feels.

2Here’s the squad: Simon, aka Peter, and his bro Andrew; James, Zebedee's kid, and his bro John;

3Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, and Matthew the tax dude; James, Alpheus's son, and Lebbeus, Thaddeus for short;

4Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, the one who played him dirty.

5Jesus sent these twelve out and was like, “Don’t hit up the Gentiles or any city of the Samaritans, fam.”

6Instead, go for the lost sheep of Israel, like fr.

7As you roll out, preach that the kingdom of heaven is right here, no cap.

8Heal the sick, clean up the lepers, raise the dead, kick out demons: you got this for free, so give it out, periodt.

9Don’t bring gold, silver, or brass in your pockets, fam.

10No extra bags for your trip, no spare coats, no kicks, or sticks: the worker deserves his snacks, trust.

11When you roll into a city or town, ask who's worth it; chill there until you bounce.

12When you hit up a house, give it a shoutout.

13If the house is worth it, let your good vibes flow there; if not, just take your peace back.

14If they don’t vibe with you or hear your words, when you dip from that place, shake the dust off your kicks.

15For real, I’m saying it’s gonna be easier for Sodom and Gomorrah on judgment day than for that city.

16Just know, I’m sending you out like sheep among wolves: be smart like snakes, but chill like doves.

17Watch out for people, fam: they’ll throw you to the councils, and they’ll roast you in their places of worship.

18You’ll get dragged in front of governors and kings for my sake, as a testimony against them and the outsiders.

19But when they come for you, don’t stress about what to say: in that moment, you’ll get the words.

20It’s not you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father vibing through you.

21Fam gonna turn on fam, like bro, even parents and kids are gonna be at each other's throats. Savage times.

22People gonna hate you for my name, no cap. But if you stick it out till the end, you’re gonna be saved, fr.

23If they’re coming for you in one city, just bounce to another, 'cause I’m telling you, you won’t hit all the cities of Israel till the Son of Man rolls through.

24A disciple ain’t above their master, just saying.

25It’s chill for the disciple to be like their master, and the servant like their lord. If they’re calling the master Beelzebub, imagine what they’ll say about the crew!

26Don’t sweat it, fam. Nothing hidden that won’t come to light, periodt.

27What I whisper to you in the dark, shout it out in the light; what you hear in your ear, preach it from the rooftops, no cap.

28Don’t fear those who can only take your body, but can’t touch your soul. Fear the one who can mess with both, no joke.

29Two sparrows go for a penny, and not one hits the ground without your Father knowing, like, for real.

30Even the hairs on your head are counted, that’s how much you matter.

31Don’t be shook, you’re worth way more than a bunch of sparrows, fr.

32Whoever flexes me in front of people, I’ll flex them in front of my Dad in heaven, periodt.

33But if you ghost me in front of people, I’ll ghost you in front of my Dad in heaven, no cap.

34Don’t think I’m here to bring chill vibes; I came to bring a sword, lit.

35I’m here to cause some drama: fam against fam, periodt.

36A dude’s biggest haters? They’re from his own crib, savage.

37If you vibe with your fam more than me, you’re not worthy of me, no cap.

38If you ain’t picking up your cross and rolling with me, you’re not worthy of me, bet.

39If you’re out here chasing your life, you’ll lose it; but if you lose it for my sake, you’ll find it, fr.

40Whoever welcomes you, welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me, welcomes the one who sent me, lit.

41If you vibe with a prophet just 'cause they're a prophet, you get that prophet's reward; same goes for a righteous dude, you feel? That's the rizz.

42And if you hook up one of these little ones with a cold cup of water just 'cause you're a disciple, no cap, you ain't gonna miss out on your reward.

1And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

2Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother;

3Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alpheus, and Lebbeus, whose surname was Thaddeus;

4Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.

5These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not:

6But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

7And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.

8Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

9Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses,

10Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat.

11And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, enquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence.

12And when ye come into an house, salute it.

13And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you.

14And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

15Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.

16Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

17But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;

18And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles.

19But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.

20For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

21And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.

22And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

23But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall not have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come.

24The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.

25It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?

26Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.

27What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops.

28And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

29Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

30But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

32Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.

33But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

40He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

41He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.

42And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.