1So, like, in the morning, the top priests gathered the squad and tied up Jesus, then took him to Pilate. Major sus vibes.

2Pilate was like, "You the King of the Jews?" and Jesus was like, "You said it, fam."

3The chief priests threw a ton of accusations at him, but he was just silent, no cap.

4Pilate was shook and asked again, "You ain't gonna say anything? Look at all these peeps testifying against you."

5But Jesus stayed quiet, and Pilate was low-key amazed.

6During that festival, he would drop one prisoner free, whoever they wanted.

7There was this dude named Barabbas, all tied up with the crew that started a riot and had straight-up murdered someone.

8The crowd was yelling, wanting him to do his usual thing for them.

9Pilate hit them with, "Do you want me to let go of the King of the Jews?"

10He knew the chief priests were just jealous and handed him over.

11But the chief priests got the crowd hyped to let Barabbas go instead.

12Pilate was like, "Aight, what do you want me to do with the dude you call the King of the Jews?"

13They shouted back, "Crucify him!"

14Pilate was like, "For real, what did he even do?" But they just yelled louder, "Crucify him!"

15So Pilate, wanting to keep the vibes chill, let Barabbas go and had Jesus whipped before sending him to be crucified.

16Then the soldiers took him to this place called the Pretorium and gathered the whole squad.

17They draped him in purple and made a crown of thorns, putting it on his head.

18They started hyping him up, "Hail, King of the Jews!"

19They hit him on the head with a stick, spat on him, and bowed down like they were worshipping.

20After they roasted him, they took off the purple, put his own clothes back on him, and led him out to crucify him.

21They got this dude Simon from Cyrene, just chillin' and coming through, to carry his cross. Major rizz with that one.

22They took him to this spot called Golgotha, which is basically "Skull Place." Super sus name, fr.

23They offered him some wine mixed with myrrh, but he was like, "Nah, I'm good." No cap.

24After they nailed him, they split up his clothes, rolling dice for what everyone would snag. Savage moves.

25It was the third hour when they put him on that cross. Just wild, fam.

26And the sign above him said, "THE KING OF THE JEWS." Goated title, for real.

27They also crucified two thieves with him, one on his right and one on his left. Straight up, like a squad.

28And the scripture came through, saying he was counted with the wrongdoers. Vibes.

29People passing by were throwing shade at him, shaking their heads, saying, "Ayo, you wrecked the temple and rebuilt it in three days?"

30"Save yourself and come down from that cross," they were all like, popping off with the insults.

31The chief priests were lowkey roasting, like, “He saved others; he can't even save himself, fr.”

32They were like, “Yo, Christ the King of Israel, just hop down from that cross so we can see and believe.” The homies getting crucified with him were also throwing shade.

33When the sixth hour hit, it was straight-up dark vibes over the whole land until the ninth hour.

34At the ninth hour, Jesus shouted loud, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why you ghosting me?”

35Some peeps nearby heard it and were like, “Ayo, he’s calling for Elias.”

36One dude ran and soaked a sponge in vinegar, put it on a stick, and said, “Chill, let’s see if Elias comes to save him.”

37Jesus yelled with a loud voice and then just let go, no cap.

38The temple's veil got ripped in two from top to bottom, and it was wild.

39The centurion standing there saw how he cried out and let go, and was like, “For real, this man was the Son of God.”

40There were also some women watching from a distance, including Mary Magdalene, Mary the mom of James the less and Joses, and Salome.

41Some women vibed with him in Galilee and were like, "We got you," and they rolled up to Jerusalem too.

42So, when evening hit, it was the day before the Sabbath, and everyone was prepping, no cap.

43Joseph of Arimathea, a total legend waiting for God's kingdom, popped off and went to Pilate to ask for Jesus' body.

44Pilate was shook, wondering if Jesus was already dead; he called the centurion to check if he had been out for a minute.

45Once he got the tea from the centurion, he handed the body over to Joseph.

46Joseph copped some fine linen, took Jesus down, wrapped him up, and laid him in a rock tomb, rolling a stone to seal it.

47Mary Magdalene and Mary, Joses' mom, were there, peeping where he was laid, fr.

1And straightway in the morning the chief priests held a consultation with the elders and scribes and the whole council, and bound Jesus, and carried him away, and delivered him to Pilate.

2And Pilate asked him, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answering said unto him, Thou sayest it.

3And the chief priests accused him of many things: but he answered nothing.

4And Pilate asked him again, saying, Answerest thou nothing? behold how many things they witness against thee.

5But Jesus yet answered nothing; so that Pilate marvelled.

6Now at that feast he released unto them one prisoner, whomsoever they desired.

7And there was one named Barabbas, which lay bound with them that had made insurrection with him, who had committed murder in the insurrection.

8And the multitude crying aloud began to desire him to do as he had ever done unto them.

9But Pilate answered them, saying, Will ye that I release unto you the King of the Jews?

10For he knew that the chief priests had delivered him for envy.

11But the chief priests moved the people, that he should rather release Barabbas unto them.

12And Pilate answered and said again unto them, What will ye then that I shall do unto him whom ye call the King of the Jews?

13And they cried out again, Crucify him.

14Then Pilate said unto them, Why, what evil hath he done? And they cried out the more exceedingly, Crucify him.

15And so Pilate, willing to content the people, released Barabbas unto them, and delivered Jesus, when he had scourged him, to be crucified.

16And the soldiers led him away into the hall, called Pretorium; and they call together the whole band.

17And they clothed him with purple, and platted a crown of thorns, and put it about his head,

18And began to salute him, Hail, King of the Jews!

19And they smote him on the head with a reed, and did spit upon him, and bowing their knees worshipped him.

20And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple from him, and put his own clothes on him, and led him out to crucify him.

21And they compel one Simon a Cyrenian, who passed by, coming out of the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to bear his cross.

22And they bring him unto the place Golgotha, which is, being interpreted, The place of a skull.

23And they gave him to drink wine mingled with myrrh: but he received it not.

24And when they had crucified him, they parted his garments, casting lots upon them, what every man should take.

25And it was the third hour, and they crucified him.

26And the superscription of his accusation was written over, THE KING OF THE JEWS.

27And with him they crucify two thieves; the one on his right hand, and the other on his left.

28And the scripture was fulfilled, which saith, And he was numbered with the transgressors.

29And they that passed by railed on him, wagging their heads, and saying, Ah, thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days,

30Save thyself, and come down from the cross.

31Likewise also the chief priests mocking said among themselves with the scribes, He saved others; himself he cannot save.

32Let Christ the King of Israel descend now from the cross, that we may see and believe. And they that were crucified with him reviled him.

33And when the sixth hour was come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour.

34And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

35And some of them that stood by, when they heard it, said, Behold, he calleth Elias.

36And one ran and filled a spunge full of vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink, saying, Let alone; let us see whether Elias will come to take him down.

37And Jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost.

38And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom.

39And when the centurion, which stood over against him, saw that he so cried out, and gave up the ghost, he said, Truly this man was the Son of God.

40There were also women looking on afar off: among whom was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the less and of Joses, and Salome;

41(Who also, when he was in Galilee, followed him, and ministered unto him;) and many other women which came up with him unto Jerusalem.

42And now when the even was come, because it was the preparation, that is, the day before the sabbath,

43Joseph of Arimathea, an honourable counsellor, which also waited for the kingdom of God, came, and went in boldly unto Pilate, and craved the body of Jesus.

44And Pilate marvelled if he were already dead: and calling unto him the centurion, he asked him whether he had been any while dead.

45And when he knew it of the centurion, he gave the body to Joseph.

46And he bought fine linen, and took him down, and wrapped him in the linen, and laid him in a sepulchre which was hewn out of a rock, and rolled a stone unto the door of the sepulchre.

47And Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses beheld where he was laid.