Gen Z: Leviticus 26
1No cap, don’t be making any idols or statues, 'cause I’m the Lord your God, fam.
2Keep my sabbaths and respect my sanctuary, fr, I’m the Lord.
3If you vibe with my rules and actually do them;
4Then I’ll bless you with rain at the right time, and your land will be popping off with growth, trees gonna be fruiting.
5Your harvests will be lit, and you’ll eat all the bread you want, living safely in your land.
6I’ll bring peace to your land, and you can chill without fear; I’ll handle the savage beasts and keep the sword away from you.
7You’ll chase down your enemies, and they’ll be falling before you like, no cap.
8Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will send ten thousand running; your enemies will be falling before you, fr.
9I’ll show you respect, make you fruitful, multiply you, and keep my promise with you, periodt.
10You’ll be eating the old stuff while bringing in the new, that’s how it’s gonna be, no cap.
11I'm gonna vibe with you guys, and I won't ghost you, no cap.
12I’ll walk with you, be your God, and you’ll be my crew, periodt.
13I’m the Lord who pulled you outta Egypt so you wouldn’t be their slaves; I broke your chains and helped you stand tall, fr.
14But if you ignore me and don’t follow the rules, that’s sus.
15If you hate my laws and don’t vibe with my judgments, breaking our deal, that’s a major red flag.
16I’ll bring the heat on you; expect fear, sickness, and pain that’ll mess with your mind, and your hard work will be for nothing because your foes will take it all.
17I’ll turn my back on you, and you’ll be taken out by your enemies; those who don’t like you will be in charge, and you’ll run away even when no one’s chasing you, savage.
18If you still don’t listen after all this, I’ll hit you with seven times the consequences for your mess-ups.
19I’ll crush your pride; your skies will feel like iron, and your land will be like brass, no cap.
20Your strength will be wasted; your land won’t give you anything, and the trees won’t bear fruit, that’s just facts.
21If you’re acting sus and ignoring me, I’m gonna hit you with seven times more drama for your mess-ups.
22I’ll send wild beasts to come for your kids and wreck your livestock, and you’ll be low-key struggling; your roads gonna be empty.
23If you’re not vibing with my ways after all this and keep acting up;
24Then I’ll also be coming for you, and I’ll drop the punishment seven times harder for your sins.
25I’ll bring a sword to settle the beef with my covenant: when you’re all huddled in your cities, I’ll unleash a plague, and you’ll be in the enemy’s grip.
26When I’ve messed up your food game, ten women will bake your bread in one oven, and they’ll hand it to you by weight; you’ll eat but still be hungry, no cap.
27If you still won’t listen to me and keep acting sus;
28Then I’m coming for you with all my fury; I’ll go hard and punish you seven times for your sins.
29You’ll be eating the flesh of your own kids, and yeah, your daughters too.
30I’ll smash your high places, chop down your idols, and throw your corpses on top of your fake gods; my soul is gonna be straight-up disgusted with you.
31I'ma wreck your cities, make your holy spots a total mess, and your good vibes? Nah, I ain't feelin' it.
32I'll turn the land into a ghost town, and your enemies will be shook when they see it.
33I'm scatterin' you like confetti among the outsiders, and a sword's gonna be on your tail; your land's gonna be empty, and your cities will be ghosted.
34The land's gonna chill and take its sabbaths while you’re stuck in enemy territory; even then, the land will vibe and rest.
35As long as it’s a ghost town, it’ll rest; 'cause it didn’t get its chill time when you were livin’ it up there.
36For those left, I’ll send some major anxiety vibes in enemy lands; even the rustle of a leaf will freak them out, and they'll run like they're dodging a sword, falling down when no one's even chasing.
37They'll trip over each other like they’re facing a sword, with no one even on their case; you won’t have the rizz to stand up to your foes.
38You’ll be ghosted among the outsiders, and your enemy’s land will munch you up.
39Those who are left will be feelin' the weight of their wrongs in enemy lands; they’ll also be haunted by their fam's wrongdoings.
40If they spill the tea on their wrongs and their fam's mess-ups, plus the times they went against me, we might just vibe it out.
41So I’ve been lowkey against them, bringing them to their enemy’s turf; if they chill and own up to their mess-ups, then we’re good.
42I’ll remember my deal with Jacob, Isaac, and Abraham; I got their backs and the land too, fr.
43The land will vibe on its own, enjoying its chill time while they’re gone, ‘cause they straight-up dissed my rules and couldn’t handle my laws.
44But even when they’re stuck in enemy territory, I won’t ghost them or ditch my promises, ‘cause I’m still their God, no cap.
45I’ll remember the OG deal with their ancestors, the ones I pulled outta Egypt while everyone was watching, so I can still be their God: I’m the Lord.
46These are the rules and vibes the Lord dropped between Him and the Israelites at Mount Sinai through Moses.