1Laban's fam was like, "Yo, Jacob just snatched all our dad's stuff and flexed all this glory."

2Jacob peeped Laban's vibe, and it was not the same as before, fr.

3God hit up Jacob and said, "Bounce back to your fam's land; I got your back."

4Jacob called Rachel and Leah to the field where his crew was chillin',

5and said, "I see your dad's vibe ain't cool with me anymore; but God, my dad’s homie, has been riding with me."

6You know I’ve been grinding for your dad with all my hustle.

7But your dad played me and switched up my pay like ten times; still, God didn’t let him mess me up.

8If he said, "The speckled ones are your pay," all the cattle went speckled; if he said, "The ringstraked are yours," then all the cattle went ringstraked.

9So, God took your dad's cattle and handed them over to me, no cap.

10One time when the cattle were about to give birth, I looked up and had a dream where the rams jumping on the cattle were all ringstraked, speckled, and grisled.

11And the angel of God hit me up in a dream, like, "Yo, Jacob!" And I was like, "Here am I, what’s good?"

12He said, "Look up, fam, and peep all the rams jumpin' on the cattle, they’re ringstraked, speckled, and grisled: I’ve seen all the sus stuff Laban's been doing to you."

13"I’m the God of Beth-el, where you blessed that pillar and made a promise to me: now bounce from this land and head back to your fam."

14Rachel and Leah were like, "Is there any inheritance for us in our dad’s crib?"

15"Aren’t we just like, strangers to him? He sold us and totally drained our cash."

16"All the riches God took from our pops are ours and for our kids: so whatever God told you, just do it, no cap."

17Then Jacob got up and put his sons and wives on camels;

18He took all his cattle and stuff he scored, the livestock he got in Padan-aram, to roll out to his dad Isaac in Canaan.

19Laban went to shear his sheep, and Rachel straight up jacked her dad's idols.

20And Jacob dipped quietly from Laban the Syrian, not telling him he was peacing out.

21So he dipped with all his stuff; he bounced, crossed the river, and set his sights on mount Gilead.

22On the third day, Laban got the tea that Jacob was gone.

23He grabbed his crew and chased Jacob for seven days; they caught up with him at mount Gilead.

24God hit up Laban in a dream at night, like, "Yo, don’t say anything good or bad to Jacob."

25Laban caught up to Jacob, who had set up camp on the mountain; Laban and his crew pitched up at mount Gilead too.

26Laban was like, "What’s the deal? You ghosted me and took my daughters like they were kidnapped?"

27"Why’d you sneak away and not tell me? I could’ve sent you off with good vibes and a party!"

28"You didn’t even let me say goodbye to my kids? That was a dumb move."

29"I could totally mess you up, but the God of your dad told me last night, 'Don’t say anything good or bad to Jacob.'"

30"Now, even though you wanted to bounce back home, why’d you swipe my gods?"

31Jacob was like, "Yo, Laban, I was just scared you'd straight up take your daughters from me. No cap."

32Whoever finds your gods, let them not live, fr. Let's see what's yours and what's mine. Jacob had no clue Rachel swiped them.

33Laban checked Jacob's tent, Leah's tent, and the maidservants' tents; but nada. Then he bounced out of Leah’s and hit up Rachel’s tent.

34Rachel hid the idols in the camel stuff and sat on them. Laban searched the whole tent but was still empty-handed.

35She told her dad, "Don't be mad that I can't stand up for you; it’s that time, you feel?" He searched but still found nothing.

36Jacob was heated and went off on Laban: "What’s my crime? Why you chasing me down like this?"

37You searched all my stuff, so what did you find? Bring it here, and let’s get the fam to settle this.

38I’ve been grinding with you for twenty years; none of your sheep have lost their young, and I didn't eat your rams.

39If a beast tore something up, I didn’t bring it to you; I took the L on that. You wanted it back, whether it got jacked day or night.

40That’s how it was; during the day, the heat hit hard, and at night, the frost was wild; sleep just ghosted me.

41Yo, I've been grinding at your place for twenty years, putting in fourteen for your two daughters and six for your cattle. You switched up my pay like ten times, no cap.

42If it wasn't for the God of my pops, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac being with me, you would've sent me away empty-handed. God saw my struggle and the work I put in, and checked you last night.

43Laban was like, "These daughters are mine, these kids are mine, these cattle are mine, everything you see is mine. What can I even do about my daughters or their kids today?"

44So Laban was like, "Ayo, let’s make a deal, just you and me; it’ll be our witness."

45Jacob grabbed a stone and set it up like a whole pillar.

46Jacob told his bros, "Yo, grab some stones!" They piled them up and then they feasted on that stone pile.

47Laban named it Jegar–sahadutha, but Jacob was like, "Nah, I’m calling it Galeed."

48Laban said, "This pile is our witness today." That's why it’s called Galeed.

49And Mizpah, 'cause he said, "The Lord better watch between us when we’re not around each other."

50If you mess with my daughters or scoop up other wives besides them, just know, no one’s with us; God sees everything between us.

51Laban's like, "Yo, check out this pile and this pillar I set up between us, no cap."

52This pile's our witness, and so is the pillar, so we’re not crossing this line to throw shade at each other, fr.

53The God of Abraham and Nahor is gonna judge us, and Jacob swore by the vibes his dad Isaac had.

54Jacob threw down a sacrifice on the mountain and called his fam to munch on some bread; they feasted and chilled all night.

55In the morning, Laban woke up, hugged his kids, blessed them, and bounced back home.

1And he heard the words of Laban’s sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father’s; and of that which was our father’s hath he gotten all this glory.

2And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it was not toward him as before.

3And the Lord said unto Jacob, Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred; and I will be with thee.

4And Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock,

5And said unto them, I see your father’s countenance, that it is not toward me as before; but the God of my father hath been with me.

6And ye know that with all my power I have served your father.

7And your father hath deceived me, and changed my wages ten times; but God suffered him not to hurt me.

8If he said thus, The speckled shall be thy wages; then all the cattle bare speckled: and if he said thus, The ringstraked shall be thy hire; then bare all the cattle ringstraked.

9Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given them to me.

10And it came to pass at the time that the cattle conceived, that I lifted up mine eyes, and saw in a dream, and, behold, the rams which leaped upon the cattle were ringstraked, speckled, and grisled.

11And the angel of God spake unto me in a dream, saying, Jacob: And I said, Here am I.

12And he said, Lift up now thine eyes, and see, all the rams which leap upon the cattle are ringstraked, speckled, and grisled: for I have seen all that Laban doeth unto thee.

13I am the God of Beth–el, where thou anointedst the pillar, and where thou vowedst a vow unto me: now arise, get thee out from this land, and return unto the land of thy kindred.

14And Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him, Is there yet any portion or inheritance for us in our father’s house?

15Are we not counted of him strangers? for he hath sold us, and hath quite devoured also our money.

16For all the riches which God hath taken from our father, that is ours, and our children’s: now then, whatsoever God hath said unto thee, do.

17Then Jacob rose up, and set his sons and his wives upon camels;

18And he carried away all his cattle, and all his goods which he had gotten, the cattle of his getting, which he had gotten in Padan–aram, for to go to Isaac his father in the land of Canaan.

19And Laban went to shear his sheep: and Rachel had stolen the images that were her father’s.

20And Jacob stole away unawares to Laban the Syrian, in that he told him not that he fled.

21So he fled with all that he had; and he rose up, and passed over the river, and set his face toward the mount Gilead.

22And it was told Laban on the third day that Jacob was fled.

23And he took his brethren with him, and pursued after him seven days’ journey; and they overtook him in the mount Gilead.

24And God came to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said unto him, Take heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.

25Then Laban overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the mount: and Laban with his brethren pitched in the mount of Gilead.

26And Laban said to Jacob, What hast thou done, that thou hast stolen away unawares to me, and carried away my daughters, as captives taken with the sword?

27Wherefore didst thou flee away secretly, and steal away from me; and didst not tell me, that I might have sent thee away with mirth, and with songs, with tabret, and with harp?

28And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.

29It is in the power of my hand to do you hurt: but the God of your father spake unto me yesternight, saying, Take thou heed that thou speak not to Jacob either good or bad.

30And now, though thou wouldest needs be gone, because thou sore longedst after thy father’s house, yet wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?

31And Jacob answered and said to Laban, Because I was afraid: for I said, Peradventure thou wouldest take by force thy daughters from me.

32With whomsoever thou findest thy gods, let him not live: before our brethren discern thou what is thine with me, and take it to thee. For Jacob knew not that Rachel had stolen them.

33And Laban went into Jacob’s tent, and into Leah’s tent, and into the two maidservants’ tents; but he found them not. Then went he out of Leah’s tent, and entered into Rachel’s tent.

34Now Rachel had taken the images, and put them in the camel’s furniture, and sat upon them. And Laban searched all the tent, but found them not.

35And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women is upon me. And he searched, but found not the images.

36And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What is my trespass? what is my sin, that thou hast so hotly pursued after me?

37Whereas thou hast searched all my stuff, what hast thou found of all thy household stuff? set it here before my brethren and thy brethren, that they may judge betwixt us both.

38This twenty years have I been with thee; thy ewes and thy she goats have not cast their young, and the rams of thy flock have I not eaten.

39That which was torn of beasts I brought not unto thee; I bare the loss of it; of my hand didst thou require it, whether stolen by day, or stolen by night.

40Thus I was; in the day the drought consumed me, and the frost by night; and my sleep departed from mine eyes.

41Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times.

42Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight.

43And Laban answered and said unto Jacob, These daughters are my daughters, and these children are my children, and these cattle are my cattle, and all that thou seest is mine: and what can I do this day unto these my daughters, or unto their children which they have born?

44Now therefore come thou, let us make a covenant, I and thou; and let it be for a witness between me and thee.

45And Jacob took a stone, and set it up for a pillar.

46And Jacob said unto his brethren, Gather stones; and they took stones, and made an heap: and they did eat there upon the heap.

47And Laban called it Jegar–sahadutha: but Jacob called it Galeed.

48And Laban said, This heap is a witness between me and thee this day. Therefore was the name of it called Galeed;

49And Mizpah; for he said, The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another.

50If thou shalt afflict my daughters, or if thou shalt take other wives beside my daughters, no man is with us; see, God is witness betwixt me and thee.

51And Laban said to Jacob, Behold this heap, and behold this pillar, which I have cast betwixt me and thee;

52This heap be witness, and this pillar be witness, that I will not pass over this heap to thee, and that thou shalt not pass over this heap and this pillar unto me, for harm.

53The God of Abraham, and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge betwixt us. And Jacob sware by the fear of his father Isaac.

54Then Jacob offered sacrifice upon the mount, and called his brethren to eat bread: and they did eat bread, and tarried all night in the mount.

55And early in the morning Laban rose up, and kissed his sons and his daughters, and blessed them: and Laban departed, and returned unto his place.