Exodus 9

Gen Z: Exodus 9

1Then the Lord said to Moses, "Slide over to Pharaoh and hit him with this: 'The Lord God of the Hebrews is sayin', let my people bounce so they can serve me.'"

2But if you’re gonna be sus and not let them go, just know it’s gonna be a problem.

3Check it, the Lord's hand is on your cattle chillin' in the field, like the horses, donkeys, camels, oxen, and sheep: it’s about to get real grim.

4The Lord is gonna separate the cattle of Israel from the cattle of Egypt, and not a single one of Israel’s herd is gonna bite the dust.

5The Lord set a date, saying, “Tomorrow, I’m about to pop off in the land.”

6And the Lord did that thing the next day, and all the cattle of Egypt were done for; but Israel's cattle? Not a single one went down.

7Pharaoh sent out to check, and guess what? Not one of the Israelites' cattle was dead. But Pharaoh’s heart was still hard, and he didn’t let the people go.

8Then the Lord told Moses and Aaron, “Grab some ashes from the furnace and let Moses sprinkle it up to the sky in front of Pharaoh.”

9It’ll turn to dust all over Egypt and cause boils to break out on people and animals, for real.

10So they grabbed the ashes and stood before Pharaoh; Moses sprinkled it toward the sky, and it turned into boils breaking out on both people and beasts.

11The magicians were totally shook and couldn’t even face Moses 'cause of the boils; they were getting wrecked, just like all the Egyptians.

12And the Lord was like, “Nah fam,” hardening Pharaoh’s heart, so he didn’t listen to Moses, no cap.

13The Lord told Moses to wake up early, roll up to Pharaoh, and drop this line: “Yo, God of the Hebrews says, let my peeps go so they can vibe with me.”

14'Cause I’m about to drop all my plagues on your heart and your squad, so you know there’s no one like me in the whole universe.

15For real, I’m about to flex my hand and hit you and your crew with some serious pestilence; you’ll be wiped off the map.

16And for this reason, I’ve put you in this position to show off my power; my name’s gonna be known everywhere, periodt.

17You still think you’re better than my people and won’t let them bounce?

18Just wait, tomorrow around this time, I’m sending down some epic hail that’s gonna be next level, never seen in Egypt before.

19So go ahead and gather your cattle and everything in the field; if they’re out there when the hail drops, it’s game over for them.

20The ones who were vibing with the Lord's word among Pharaoh’s crew were like, “We gotta get our people and cattle inside!”

21The dude who ignored the Lord's word just bounced, leaving his crew and livestock chillin' in the field.

22The Lord told Moses, "Yo, stretch your hand to the sky so hail can drop on all of Egypt, hitting everyone and everything."

23Moses reached out his rod to the heavens, and the Lord sent thunder and hail, with fire vibing on the ground; hail rained down on Egypt.

24So there was hail mixed with fire, super savage, nothing like it ever hit Egypt since it became a nation.

25The hail wrecked everything in the fields of Egypt, hitting both people and animals; it smashed every herb and broke every tree.

26But in Goshen, where the Israelites were, there was no hail, just chill vibes.

27Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron, saying, "I messed up this time: the Lord is righteous, and we are totally sus."

28"Pray to the Lord (for real, that's enough) so the thunder and hail stop; I'll let you bounce, and you can stay no longer."

29Moses replied, "As soon as I step out of the city, I'll raise my hands to the Lord; the thunder will chill, and there won't be any more hail, so you know the earth belongs to the Lord."

30But for you and your crew, I know you still won't fear the Lord God, no cap.

31The flax and barley got wrecked, 'cause the barley was ready to flex, and the flax was like, "I’m vibin’."

32But the wheat and rye were chillin', not even grown yet, so they dodged that drama.

33Moses dipped outta Pharaoh's crib, threw his hands up to God, and then the thunder and hail were like, "We out," and the rain stopped.

34When Pharaoh saw the rain and hail chillin’, he straight-up sinned more and was like, "Nah," hardening his heart, along with his crew.

35Pharaoh's heart was still hard AF, and he wouldn’t let the Israelites bounce, just like God told Moses.

KJV: Exodus 9

1Then the Lord said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh, and tell him, Thus saith the Lord God of the Hebrews, Let my people go, that they may serve me.

2For if thou refuse to let them go, and wilt hold them still,

3Behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thy cattle which is in the field, upon the horses, upon the asses, upon the camels, upon the oxen, and upon the sheep: there shall be a very grievous murrain.

4And the Lord shall sever between the cattle of Israel and the cattle of Egypt: and there shall nothing die of all that is the children’s of Israel.

5And the Lord appointed a set time, saying, To morrow the Lord shall do this thing in the land.

6And the Lord did that thing on the morrow, and all the cattle of Egypt died: but of the cattle of the children of Israel died not one.

7And Pharaoh sent, and, behold, there was not one of the cattle of the Israelites dead. And the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, and he did not let the people go.

8And the Lord said unto Moses and unto Aaron, Take to you handfuls of ashes of the furnace, and let Moses sprinkle it toward the heaven in the sight of Pharaoh.

9And it shall become small dust in all the land of Egypt, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the land of Egypt.

10And they took ashes of the furnace, and stood before Pharaoh; and Moses sprinkled it up toward heaven; and it became a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast.

11And the magicians could not stand before Moses because of the boils; for the boil was upon the magicians, and upon all the Egyptians.

12And the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he hearkened not unto them; as the Lord had spoken unto Moses.

13And the Lord said unto Moses, Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pharaoh, and say unto him, Thus saith the Lord God of the Hebrews, Let my people go, that they may serve me.

14For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people; that thou mayest know that there is none like me in all the earth.

15For now I will stretch out my hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth.

16And in very deed for this cause have I raised thee up, for to shew in thee my power; and that my name may be declared throughout all the earth.

17As yet exaltest thou thyself against my people, that thou wilt not let them go?

18Behold, to morrow about this time I will cause it to rain a very grievous hail, such as hath not been in Egypt since the foundation thereof even until now.

19Send therefore now, and gather thy cattle, and all that thou hast in the field; for upon every man and beast which shall be found in the field, and shall not be brought home, the hail shall come down upon them, and they shall die.

20He that feared the word of the Lord among the servants of Pharaoh made his servants and his cattle flee into the houses:

21And he that regarded not the word of the Lord left his servants and his cattle in the field.

22And the Lord said unto Moses, Stretch forth thine hand toward heaven, that there may be hail in all the land of Egypt, upon man, and upon beast, and upon every herb of the field, throughout the land of Egypt.

23And Moses stretched forth his rod toward heaven: and the Lord sent thunder and hail, and the fire ran along upon the ground; and the Lord rained hail upon the land of Egypt.

24So there was hail, and fire mingled with the hail, very grievous, such as there was none like it in all the land of Egypt since it became a nation.

25And the hail smote throughout all the land of Egypt all that was in the field, both man and beast; and the hail smote every herb of the field, and brake every tree of the field.

26Only in the land of Goshen, where the children of Israel were, was there no hail.

27And Pharaoh sent, and called for Moses and Aaron, and said unto them, I have sinned this time: the Lord is righteous, and I and my people are wicked.

28Intreat the Lord (for it is enough) that there be no more mighty thunderings and hail; and I will let you go, and ye shall stay no longer.

29And Moses said unto him, As soon as I am gone out of the city, I will spread abroad my hands unto the Lord; and the thunder shall cease, neither shall there be any more hail; that thou mayest know how that the earth is the Lord’s.

30But as for thee and thy servants, I know that ye will not yet fear the Lord God.

31And the flax and the barley was smitten: for the barley was in the ear, and the flax was bolled.

32But the wheat and the rie were not smitten: for they were not grown up.

33And Moses went out of the city from Pharaoh, and spread abroad his hands unto the Lord: and the thunders and hail ceased, and the rain was not poured upon the earth.

34And when Pharaoh saw that the rain and the hail and the thunders were ceased, he sinned yet more, and hardened his heart, he and his servants.

35And the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, neither would he let the children of Israel go; as the Lord had spoken by Moses.

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