Gen Z: Exodus 8
1Yo, God told Moses to roll up to Pharaoh and say, "Let my squad go so they can vibe with me."
2If you don’t let them bounce, I'm about to hit your whole area with frogs, no cap.
3The river's gonna drop frogs everywhere, like, they’ll be in your crib, your bed, and even in your ovens, fr.
4Frogs gonna be all up in your business, on you, your crew, and all your servants.
5God told Moses to tell Aaron, "Stretch your stick over the waters and make those frogs pop up in Egypt."
6Aaron did it, and boom, frogs came up and took over the land of Egypt, it was wild.
7The magicians tried to flex too, and they brought up frogs like it was nothing.
8Pharaoh hit up Moses and Aaron, like, "Please ask God to get rid of these frogs, and I’ll let your people go to worship."
9Moses was like, "When do you want me to ask for you and your crew to chill with the frogs and keep them in the river?"
10Pharaoh said, "Tomorrow." Moses was like, "Bet, it’ll be just like you said, so you know there’s no one like our God."
11The frogs are dipping out, leaving your crib, your squad, and your crew; they’re just chilling in the river now.
12Moses and Aaron bounced from Pharaoh, and Moses was like, "Yo, God, these frogs got me wildin’."
13God came through just like Moses asked; the frogs ghosted from the houses, villages, and fields.
14They piled them up, and it was straight up rank.
15But when Pharaoh saw things were chill, he went full savage and ignored them, just like God said.
16God told Moses, "Yo, tell Aaron to flex his rod and smack the dust so it turns into lice all over Egypt."
17They pulled it off; Aaron waved his rod, and the dust became lice everywhere, on people and animals—total chaos.
18The magicians tried to pull the same trick with their magic, but they flopped; lice everywhere, no cap.
19The magicians told Pharaoh, "This is straight-up God's work," but Pharaoh's heart was still hard, just like God said.
20God told Moses, "Get up early and meet Pharaoh by the water; tell him, ‘God says, let my people bounce, so they can serve me.’"
21If you don’t let my crew bounce, I’m sending a whole squad of flies your way, invading your space and your peeps’ space, and it’s gonna be a fly fest in your crib, no cap.
22But I’ll keep the land of Goshen, where my people chill, fly-free, so you know I’m the real deal in this whole earth thing.
23I’m putting a major divide between my squad and yours: tomorrow, you’ll see the proof.
24And God pulled that off; a gnarly swarm of flies hit Pharaoh’s pad, his crew’s pads, and all over Egypt: it was a total mess, fr.
25Pharaoh hit up Moses and Aaron, like, "Yo, go sacrifice to your God, but keep it local."
26Moses was like, "Nah, we can’t do that; we’d be sacrificing the Egyptians’ vibes to our God: they’d totally stone us, no cap."
27We’re gonna trek three days into the wild and sacrifice to the Lord as He’s told us to, periodt.
28Pharaoh said, "Bet, I’ll let you go to sacrifice to your God in the wild, but don’t go too far: pray for me."
29Moses said, "I’m out, gonna pray to the Lord to make those flies chill from you, your crew, and your peeps tomorrow; but don’t be sus and keep playing games about letting us go."
30Moses dipped from Pharaoh and prayed to the Lord.
31And the Lord pulled a move like Moses said; he cleared out all the flies from Pharaoh, his crew, and the squad; not a single one left, fr.
32But Pharaoh was still being sus and wouldn’t let the people bounce.