Gen Z: Exodus 30
1Yo, make an altar for burning incense, like, outta shittim wood, vibes.
2It’s a cubit long and a cubit wide; totally square, and two cubits tall, no cap.
3Cover it in pure gold, top and sides, and give it a gold crown, that’s lit.
4Make two golden rings under the crown, one on each side, for the staves to carry it, fr.
5The staves gotta be shittim wood too, and yeah, gold overlay, no doubt.
6Place it in front of the veil by the ark of the testimony, where I’ll meet you, periodt.
7Aaron’s gotta burn sweet incense on it every morning when he sets up the lamps, bet.
8When Aaron lights the lamps at night, he’s gotta burn incense on it, keeping it bussin forever.
9No sus incense, burnt sacrifices, or meat offerings allowed on it, keep it pure.
10Aaron’s making atonement on its horns once a year with the sin offering blood, that’s goated, holy vibes.
11Yo, the Lord hit up Moses and said,
12When you count the squad of Israel, each person gotta drop a cash for their soul to the Lord, so no bad vibes hit 'em when you count.
13Each one needs to give a half shekel, like the sanctuary cash flow: (a shekel's twenty gerahs) - that half shekel's the Lord's offering, no cap.
14Everyone who's counted, 20 and up, gotta drop an offering to the Lord.
15The rich can't flex more, and the broke can't drop less than half a shekel when they offer to the Lord, to keep it real for your souls.
16You gotta collect the atonement cash from Israel and use it for the tabernacle squad; it’s a memorial for the crew before the Lord, to keep it 100 for your souls.
17Then the Lord hit Moses again, saying,
18You gotta make a brass wash basin and stand for it, to keep it fresh: put it between the tabernacle and the altar, and fill it with water.
19Aaron and his sons gotta wash their hands and feet there, fr.
20When they roll into the tabernacle, they gotta wash up, or they might catch a vibe check; same when they roll up to the altar to drop fire offerings to the Lord.
21They gotta wash their hands and feet, so they don't catch a vibe check: this rule's forever, no cap, for them and their fam for generations.
22The Lord hits up Moses, saying,
23Grab the main spices, like pure myrrh, five hundred shekels, and sweet cinnamon, half that, two hundred and fifty shekels, plus sweet calamus, two hundred and fifty shekels.
24And don't forget cassia, five hundred shekels, according to the sanctuary shekel, and olive oil, an hin of it.
25Make it a holy ointment, like a pro apothecary; it’s gonna be the ultimate anointing oil.
26Anoint the tabernacle and the ark of the testimony with it,
27the table and all its stuff, the candlestick and its gear, and the incense altar,
28plus the burnt offering altar and all its things, and the laver with its base.
29You gotta make them holy; whatever touches them is straight-up holy.
30Anoint Aaron and his sons, set them apart so they can pop off as my priests.
31Yo, tell the fam of Israel, this oil is straight-up holy vibes for generations, no cap.
32Don’t pour it on anyone’s skin, and don’t try to make a copy of it; it’s pure and gotta stay holy for you, fr.
33Anyone who tries to mix it up or puts it on a random will be cut off from the squad, periodt.
34The Lord told Moses, “Grab some sweet spices: stacte, onycha, and galbanum; mix these with pure frankincense, all equal weight, bet.”
35Make it a dope perfume, like a sick creation from the apothecary, all blended, pure and holy.
36Grind some of it real fine and put it in front of the testimony in the tabernacle where I’ll meet you; it’s gotta be super holy for you.
37And the perfume you make? Don’t copy it for yourselves; it’s gotta be holy for the Lord, no cap.
38Anyone who makes something like that just to smell it will be cut off from the crew, fr.