Gen Z: Exodus 22
1If a dude steals an ox or a sheep and kills it or sells it, he gotta give back five oxen for one ox and four sheep for one sheep.
2If a thief gets caught breaking in and ends up dead, no cap, no blood needs to be spilled for him.
3But if the sun's up and he gets wrecked, blood's on him; he better make that full restitution, and if he can't, he’s getting sold for his theft.
4If the stolen goods are found alive in his hands, whether it's an ox, donkey, or sheep, he gotta give back double.
5If a guy lets his beast munch on someone else's field or vineyard, he gotta pay back the best of his own stuff for the damage.
6If a fire breaks out and burns up the crops, the one who started the fire is totally on the hook for that restitution.
7If a dude gives his neighbor cash or stuff to hold and it gets stolen, if they find the thief, he’s gotta pay back double.
8If they don’t find the thief, the house owner gotta show up to the judges to prove he didn’t mess with his neighbor’s stuff.
9For any kind of theft, whether it’s an ox, donkey, sheep, clothes, or anything lost that someone claims, both sides gotta take it to the judges; whoever loses gotta pay double to the other.
10If a guy lends his neighbor a donkey, ox, sheep, or any beast to keep and it dies, gets hurt, or runs off, and no one saw it:
11So there’s this vibe where they promise each other, like, “I didn’t touch your stuff,” and the owner’s cool with it, no cap.
12But if someone jacks it, gotta pay the owner back, fr.
13If it’s all ripped up, bring it as proof, but no need to replace what got wrecked.
14If you borrow something and it gets messed up or dies, and the owner isn’t around, you gotta make it right, periodt.
15But if the owner’s there, you don’t have to replace it; if it’s a hired thing, that’s just how it goes.
16If a dude tries to charm a girl who’s not taken and they hook up, he’s gotta step up and make her his wife, no cap.
17If her dad straight up says no, he’s gotta drop some cash like the dowry for virgins, no cap.
18You can’t let any witch vibes slide; they gotta go.
19Anyone who gets down with a beast? Yeah, that’s a hard no; they’re done for.
20If you’re sacrificing to any god except the Lord, you’re getting wiped out, fr.
21Don't be a jerk to strangers or treat them bad, 'cause you were once outsiders in Egypt, no cap.
22Don't mess with any widows or kids without dads, that’s just savage.
23If you do hurt them and they call out to me, I'm definitely gonna hear their cry, fr.
24My anger will be lit, and I’ll come for you with the sword; your wives will be widows and your kids fatherless, periodt.
25If you lend cash to my peeps who are down bad, don't act like a loan shark, that's sus.
26If you take your neighbor's clothes as collateral, make sure to give it back before the sun sets, bet.
27'Cause that's their only cover; how they gonna sleep? When they call out to me, I’ll hear them, 'cause I’m gracious.
28Don’t trash talk the gods or throw shade at your leaders, that’s just not it.
29Don’t sleep on offering the first of your fruits and drinks; you gotta give me your firstborn sons, no cap.
30Do the same with your oxen and sheep: keep them with their moms for seven days, then give them to me on the eighth day.
31Y'all gotta be holy vibes for me: no eating any meat that’s been ripped by wild animals; just toss it to the dogs, no cap.