Gen Z: Exodus 13
1And the Lord hit up Moses, saying,
2Set apart all the firstborn, whatever pops outta the womb among the Israelites, both human and animal: it's all mine, no cap.
3And Moses told the squad, "Remember this day, when we dipped outta Egypt, from the house of struggle; the Lord flexed hard to get us outta here: no leavened bread allowed."
4This is the day we bounced in the month of Abib.
5When the Lord takes you to the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Hivites, and Jebusites, which He promised to your fam, a land flowing with milk and honey, you gotta keep this vibe in this month.
6For seven days, eat that unleavened bread, and on the seventh day, it's a feast for the Lord.
7Unleavened bread for seven days; no leavened bread should be spotted with you, not even a crumb.
8And on that day, you gotta tell your son, "This is what went down because of what the Lord did when we left Egypt."
9It’ll be a sign on your hand and a reminder between your eyes, so the Lord's law is always in your mouth: the Lord pulled us outta Egypt with serious strength.
10So keep this rule in its season, year after year.
11When the Lord brings you into the land of the Canaanites, as He promised to you and your fam, and gives it to you,
12Set apart for the Lord everything that opens the womb, and every firstborn animal you have; the males belong to the Lord.
13Redeem every firstborn donkey with a lamb; if you don’t, break its neck: and all the firstborn of your kids, you gotta redeem them.
14When your son asks you in the future, "What’s this all about?" you’ll say, "The Lord pulled us outta Egypt with mad strength, from the house of struggle."
15And when Pharaoh was being sus and wouldn’t let us go, the Lord took out all the firstborn in Egypt, both human and animal: so I sacrifice to the Lord everything that opens the womb, being males; but I redeem all my kids.
16This will be a token on your hand, and a reminder between your eyes: the Lord brought us outta Egypt with serious strength.
17When Pharaoh finally let the crew go, God didn’t take them through the Philistines’ land, even though it was closer; God was like, "What if they see war and wanna bounce back to Egypt?"
18So God led the people through the wilderness by the Red Sea: and the Israelites went up ready to roll outta Egypt.
19Moses took Joseph's bones with him: he had sworn to the Israelites, saying, "God will definitely visit you; and you gotta take my bones with you."
20They started their journey from Succoth and camped in Etham, right on the edge of the wilderness.
21And the Lord was leading them by day in a cloud pillar to show them the way; and by night in a fire pillar to give them light, so they could roll day and night.
22He didn’t take away the cloud pillar by day or the fire pillar by night from in front of the people.