1So the Lord sent Nathan to David, and he rolled up on him, saying, "There were two dudes in one city; one was vibing rich, and the other was super poor."

2The rich dude had mad flocks and herds, like, no cap.

3But the poor guy had nothing, just one little ewe lamb that he bought and raised; it grew up with him and his fam, eating from his plate and chilling in his lap, like a daughter for real.

4Then a traveler came to the rich guy, and instead of using his own flock, he took the poor dude's lamb and cooked it for the guest. That's just savage.

5David got hella mad at the rich guy and told Nathan, "As the Lord lives, that dude deserves to get wrecked."

6"He’s gotta give back four lambs because he did this and had zero pity."

7Nathan looked at David and said, "You’re that guy. The Lord God of Israel said, 'I made you king and saved you from Saul.'"

8"I gave you your master’s house and wives, plus the whole house of Israel and Judah; and if that wasn’t enough, I would’ve given you even more, periodt."

9"Why you gotta disrespect the Lord’s command and do evil? You took out Uriah the Hittite and stole his wife, using the sword of the Ammonites."

10"So now, the sword won’t leave your house because you dissed me and took Uriah's wife for yourself."

11Yo, the Lord's like, "Check it, I'm bringing some drama from your own crib, gonna take your wives right in front of you, and your neighbor's gonna be all up in their business, no cap."

12You did it lowkey, but I'm about to make this public for all of Israel and the sun to see, fr.

13David was like, "I messed up big time with the Lord." Nathan replied, "Chill, the Lord's got your back and your sin’s wiped clean; you're not gonna die."

14But for real, since you pulled this stunt, it's gonna give the haters a reason to talk trash about the Lord, so that kid you just had? Yeah, he’s gonna kick the bucket.

15Nathan bounced back home, and the Lord hit the child that Uriah’s wife had with David, and the kid was super sick.

16David was out here praying hard for the kid; he fasted and laid on the ground all night, no cap.

17The homies in his house tried to lift him up from the ground, but he was like, "Nah, I'm good," and didn’t even eat with them.

18On the seventh day, the kid passed away. David's servants were shook to tell him because they thought, "If he was this upset while the kid was alive, how wild will he be now?"

19But when David noticed the whispers, he figured out the kid was dead. He asked, "Is the child dead?" and they said, "Yeah, he’s gone."

20Then David got up, cleaned himself up, and switched his fit. He went to the Lord's house and worshipped, then headed back home, and when he asked for food, they brought him some bread and he ate.

21Then his homies were like, "What’s up with that? You were fasting and crying for the kid when he was alive, but now that he’s gone, you’re just vibing and eating bread."

22He was like, "While the kid was alive, I was all about fasting and crying, 'cause who knows if God would show me some mercy and let him live?"

23But now he’s gone, so why should I fast? Can I bring him back? I’ll go to him, but he ain’t coming back to me, periodt.

24David comforted Bath–sheba, his wifey, and they got cozy, and she had a son. He named him Solomon, and God was totally down with him.

25He sent Nathan the prophet to drop the news, and he named the kid Jedidiah, 'cause God was all about that.

26Joab was out here battling Rabbah against the Ammonites and snagged the royal city.

27Joab slid into David’s DMs and said, "I’ve been grinding against Rabbah, and I got the city of waters."

28So, gather the squad and camp out against the city to take it over, or else I’ll snatch it, and they’ll name it after me, no cap.

29David brought everyone together, rolled up to Rabbah, and took that city down.

30He snatched the king’s crown off his head, which was heavy with gold and gems, and it got placed on David’s head. He brought back a ton of loot from the city, and it was bussin'.

31He brought the crew outta there and put them under saws, iron tools, and axes, making them go through the brick furnace. David and the whole squad bounced back to Jerusalem.

1And the Lord sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.

2The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds:

3But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.

4And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.

5And David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:

6And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

7And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;

8And I gave thee thy master’s house, and thy master’s wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.

9Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.

10Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.

11Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.

12For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.

13And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.

14Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.

15And Nathan departed unto his house. And the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife bare unto David, and it was very sick.

16David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth.

17And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them.

18And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead?

19But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead.

20Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the Lord, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat.

21Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread.

22And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?

23But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

24And David comforted Bath–sheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the Lord loved him.

25And he sent by the hand of Nathan the prophet; and he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord.

26And Joab fought against Rabbah of the children of Ammon, and took the royal city.

27And Joab sent messengers to David, and said, I have fought against Rabbah, and have taken the city of waters.

28Now therefore gather the rest of the people together, and encamp against the city, and take it: lest I take the city, and it be called after my name.

29And David gathered all the people together, and went to Rabbah, and fought against it, and took it.

30And he took their king’s crown from off his head, the weight whereof was a talent of gold with the precious stones: and it was set on David’s head. And he brought forth the spoil of the city in great abundance.

31And he brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws, and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brickkiln: and thus did he unto all the cities of the children of Ammon. So David and all the people returned unto Jerusalem.