Gen Z: 1 Samuel 16
1And the Lord said to Samuel, "Why you still bummed about Saul? I’ve rejected him from ruling Israel. Fill your horn with oil and bounce to Jesse the Bethlehemite; I’ve got a king lined up from his fam."
2Samuel was like, "How can I go? If Saul hears, he’ll straight up kill me." And the Lord said, "Take a heifer with you, and say you’re there to sacrifice to me."
3"Call Jesse to the sacrifice, and I’ll show you what to do: you’re gonna anoint the one I pick."
4Samuel did what the Lord said and rolled up to Bethlehem. The town elders were shook and asked, "You coming in peace or what?"
5He replied, "Yeah, I’m here for a peace offering to the Lord. Get yourselves ready and come with me." He prepped Jesse and his sons for the sacrifice.
6When they arrived, he spotted Eliab and thought, "This has gotta be the Lord's pick."
7But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don’t judge by his looks or height; I’ve passed on him. God sees the heart, not just the outside."
8Then Jesse brought Abinadab by, and Samuel said, "Not this one either."
9Jesse brought Shammah by next, and Samuel said, "Not this one either."
10Jesse made seven of his sons pass by, and Samuel told him, "God hasn’t chosen any of these."
11Samuel asked Jesse, "Are these all your kids?" Jesse replied, "There’s the youngest, but he’s out with the sheep." Samuel said, "Go get him; we’re not sitting down until he shows up."
12So Jesse sent for him. He was ruddy and had a dope look. The Lord said, "Get up and anoint him; this is the one."
13Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him right there in front of his brothers. The Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day on, and Samuel dipped back to Ramah.
14But the Spirit of the Lord left Saul, and a sus spirit from the Lord started troubling him.
15Saul’s servants said to him, "Yo, an evil spirit from God is messing with you."
16"Let’s find someone who can play some sick tunes on a harp. When the evil spirit hits you, he’ll play, and you’ll feel better."
17Saul said to his servants, "Find me a dope player and bring him to me."
18One of the servants replied, "I’ve seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite; he’s got mad skills, a brave warrior, and the Lord is with him."
19So Saul sent messengers to Jesse, saying, "Send me David, your son, who’s chilling with the sheep."
20Jesse loaded up a donkey with bread, wine, and a goat, and sent it with David to Saul.
21David came to Saul and stood before him; Saul loved him a lot and made him his armor-bearer.
22Saul sent a message to Jesse, saying, "Let David hang with me; he’s found favor in my eyes."
23When the evil spirit from God was on Saul, David took a harp and played. Saul felt refreshed and good, and the evil spirit left him.