1Samuel was like, "Yo Saul, God sent me to bless you as king over His crew, Israel. So listen up to what the Lord's saying."

2The Lord of hosts is saying, "I remember what Amalek did to Israel, how they ambushed them when they rolled up from Egypt."

3Now go and take out Amalek, wipe them clean, no cap; slay everyone—man, woman, baby, animals—just destroy it all.

4Saul gathered the squad and counted them in Telaim, flexing with two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand from Judah.

5Saul pulled up to Amalek city and was laying low in the valley, plotting.

6Saul told the Kenites, "Yo, bounce from the Amalekites, or you’ll catch this smoke. You showed love to Israel when we left Egypt." So the Kenites dipped.

7Saul took out the Amalekites from Havilah all the way to Shur, which is opposite Egypt.

8He snagged Agag, the king of the Amalekites, alive, but wiped out everyone else with the sword.

9But Saul and the crew let Agag live and kept the best sheep, oxen, and all the good stuff, refusing to destroy them; but anything trash, they totally wiped.

10Then the Lord hit up Samuel with a message, saying,

11I'm lowkey regretting making Saul king, 'cause he straight up ghosted me and ain't followed my rules. Samuel was super bummed and cried to the Lord all night, fr.

12So, Samuel woke up early to catch Saul, and he heard Saul was chillin' in Carmel, setting up shop, then dipped out to Gilgal.

13When Samuel rolled up on Saul, Saul was like, "Yo, blessed vibes from the Lord! I did what He said."

14Samuel was like, "But what's with all this sheep bleating and cow mooing I hear? That sus."

15Saul replied, "We snagged them from the Amalekites 'cause the crew kept the best sheep and cows to vibe with the Lord; we wiped out the rest, no cap."

16Then Samuel told Saul, "Chill for a sec, and I’ll spill what the Lord said to me last night." Saul was like, "Bet, go off."

17Samuel said, "When you were just a little dude, didn't the Lord make you the big boss of Israel and anoint you king?"

18"The Lord sent you on a mission, telling you to wipe out the Amalekite sinners and fight them until they were all gone."

19So why didn't you listen to the Lord's voice, but went for the loot and did wrong in His eyes?

20Saul was like, "Nah, I totally listened to the Lord and went where He sent me. I brought back Agag, the Amalek king, but we wrecked the Amalekites, fr."

21But the people took the spoils, like sheep and oxen, the stuff that should’ve been totally wiped out, to flex on the Lord at Gilgal.

22And Samuel was like, "Does the Lord vibe more with burnt offerings and sacrifices, or with just listening to Him? For real, obeying is way better than sacrifices, and tuning in is better than the fat of rams."

23For rebellion is like witchcraft, and being stubborn is just as bad as idolatry. Since you ghosted the word of the Lord, He’s ghosting you from being king.

24And Saul was like, "I messed up: I didn’t follow the Lord’s command or your words, 'cause I was scared of the people and listened to them instead."

25So now I’m asking you, please forgive my sin and roll back with me so I can worship the Lord.

26And Samuel was like, "Nah, I’m not rolling back with you: you rejected the word of the Lord, and He’s rejected you from being king over Israel."

27As Samuel turned to dip, Saul grabbed the edge of his cloak, and it ripped.

28And Samuel said, "The Lord has ripped the kingdom of Israel from you today and given it to someone better, no cap."

29And the Strength of Israel won’t lie or change His mind: He’s not a dude who needs to repent.

30Then Saul said, "I messed up: but please honor me now in front of the elders and Israel, and roll back with me so I can worship the Lord your God."

31So Samuel bounced back to Saul, and Saul was like, "I worship the Lord, no cap."

32Then Samuel was like, "Yo, bring Agag the Amalekite king over here." Agag rolled up all soft, saying, "Bet, the worst is over."

33And Samuel said, "Since your sword made women childless, your mom’s gonna be childless too." Then Samuel straight-up chopped Agag into pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.

34After that, Samuel dipped to Ramah, and Saul went back to his crib in Gibeah.

35Samuel didn’t see Saul again until he passed away, but he was low-key sad for him. The Lord was like, "I kinda regret making Saul king over Israel, fr."

1Samuel also said unto Saul, The Lord sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the Lord.

2Thus saith the Lord of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.

3Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.

4And Saul gathered the people together, and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand footmen, and ten thousand men of Judah.

5And Saul came to a city of Amalek, and laid wait in the valley.

6And Saul said unto the Kenites, Go, depart, get you down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them: for ye shewed kindness to all the children of Israel, when they came up out of Egypt. So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites.

7And Saul smote the Amalekites from Havilah until thou comest to Shur, that is over against Egypt.

8And he took Agag the king of the Amalekites alive, and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword.

9But Saul and the people spared Agag, and the best of the sheep, and of the oxen, and of the fatlings, and the lambs, and all that was good, and would not utterly destroy them: but every thing that was vile and refuse, that they destroyed utterly.

10Then came the word of the Lord unto Samuel, saying,

11It repenteth me that I have set up Saul to be king: for he is turned back from following me, and hath not performed my commandments. And it grieved Samuel; and he cried unto the Lord all night.

12And when Samuel rose early to meet Saul in the morning, it was told Samuel, saying, Saul came to Carmel, and, behold, he set him up a place, and is gone about, and passed on, and gone down to Gilgal.

13And Samuel came to Saul: and Saul said unto him, Blessed be thou of the Lord: I have performed the commandment of the Lord.

14And Samuel said, What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?

15And Saul said, They have brought them from the Amalekites: for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen, to sacrifice unto the Lord thy God; and the rest we have utterly destroyed.

16Then Samuel said unto Saul, Stay, and I will tell thee what the Lord hath said to me this night. And he said unto him, Say on.

17And Samuel said, When thou wast little in thine own sight, wast thou not made the head of the tribes of Israel, and the Lord anointed thee king over Israel?

18And the Lord sent thee on a journey, and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners the Amalekites, and fight against them until they be consumed.

19Wherefore then didst thou not obey the voice of the Lord, but didst fly upon the spoil, and didst evil in the sight of the Lord?

20And Saul said unto Samuel, Yea, I have obeyed the voice of the Lord, and have gone the way which the Lord sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites.

21But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the chief of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in Gilgal.

22And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

23For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

24And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice.

25Now therefore, I pray thee, pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship the Lord.

26And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.

27And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent.

28And Samuel said unto him, The Lord hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, that is better than thou.

29And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he is not a man, that he should repent.

30Then he said, I have sinned: yet honour me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the Lord thy God.

31So Samuel turned again after Saul; and Saul worshipped the Lord.

32Then said Samuel, Bring ye hither to me Agag the king of the Amalekites. And Agag came unto him delicately. And Agag said, Surely the bitterness of death is past.

33And Samuel said, As thy sword hath made women childless, so shall thy mother be childless among women. And Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.

34Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went up to his house to Gibeah of Saul.

35And Samuel came no more to see Saul until the day of his death: nevertheless Samuel mourned for Saul: and the Lord repented that he had made Saul king over Israel.