1So, Ben-hadad, the king of Syria, rallied up his whole squad: 32 kings, horses, chariots, the whole vibe, and he rolled up on Samaria to start some drama.

2He slid into Ahab's DMs, king of Israel, and was like, "Yo, this is what Ben-hadad says."

3"All your cash and gold? That's mine now. Your wives and kids? Yeah, those are mine too, no cap."

4Ahab replied, "Bet, my king, I’m all yours, and everything I got too."

5Then the messengers came back, saying, "Ben-hadad is like, 'I know I asked for your silver, gold, wives, and kids; just keep that in mind.'"

6"But I'm sending my crew tomorrow to check your place and your servants' spots; whatever looks good to them, they're taking it, fr."

7The king called up all the elders and said, "Yo, peep this—this dude is trying to cause chaos. He asked for my wives, kids, silver, and gold, and I didn’t say no."

8All the elders and people were like, "Nah, don’t listen to him, just say no."

9So he told Ben-hadad's messengers, "Tell my king, I’ll do what you asked at first, but this part? Nah, not happening." And the messengers bounced with the news.

10Ben-hadad hit him back, saying, "If the dust of Samaria can fill the hands of everyone rolling with me, may the gods do worse to me!"

11The king of Israel was like, "Yo, don’t flex if you’re just putting on armor, it’s not the same as taking it off, no cap."

12So when Ben-hadad heard this while sipping with his crew, he told his homies, "Get ready, we’re gonna pop off."

13A prophet rolled up to Ahab and said, "God's got your back, did you peep that huge squad? You’re gonna take them down today, fr."

14Ahab was like, "Who’s gonna do that?" The prophet said, "God said it’s gonna be the young dudes from the provinces." Ahab asked, "Who's leading the charge?" and the prophet replied, "You are."

15Ahab counted the young guys from the provinces, and they were 232; then he counted all the peeps from Israel, and it was 7,000.

16They rolled out at noon, but Ben-hadad was getting lit with the kings, just vibing hard.

17The young men from the provinces went out first, and Ben-hadad got word, "Yo, peeps are coming outta Samaria."

18He was like, "If they’re coming out for peace, keep them alive; if it’s war, still keep them alive."

19So these young men from the provinces came outta the city, and the squad behind them followed.

20They took out everyone they faced, and the Syrians dipped; Israel chased them down, and Ben-hadad bounced on a horse with the riders.

21The king of Israel rolled out, took down the horses and chariots, and wiped out the Syrians like it was nothing, fr.

22Then the prophet pulled up on the king of Israel and said, "Yo, get your strength up and pay attention, 'cause when the year flips, the king of Syria’s coming back for round two."

23The servants of the Syrian king were like, "Their gods are only good on the hills; that’s why they beat us. Let’s fight them in the flatlands, and we’ll totally win, no cap."

24"Do this," they said, "Switch up the kings, and put captains in charge instead."

25"Count up an army, just like the one we lost, horse for horse, chariot for chariot. We’ll battle them in the plains, and we’ll definitely be stronger." The king was like, "Bet," and followed their plan.

26When the year rolled around, Ben-hadad counted up the Syrians and headed to Aphek to throw down against Israel.

27The Israelites were all there, ready to roll, looking like two tiny flocks of goats, while the Syrians took over the whole area.

28A man of God showed up and told the king of Israel, "God said, 'The Syrians think I’m only the God of the hills, but I’m about to hand over this massive crew to you, so you’ll know I’m the real deal.'"

29They squared off for seven days, and on the seventh day, the battle kicked off. The Israelites took out a hundred thousand Syrian foot soldiers in just one day, that’s wild.

30The rest of them dipped to Aphek, but a wall collapsed on twenty-seven thousand of the stragglers. Ben-hadad bounced and hid in the city, in a secret spot.

31The homies were like, “Yo, we heard the kings of Israel are chill. Let’s throw on some sackcloth and ropes, and slide to the king of Israel. Maybe he’ll save you, no cap.”

32So they put on the sackcloth and ropes, and pulled up to the king of Israel, saying, “Yo, your boy Ben–hadad wants to live.” And the king was like, “He’s still alive? That’s my bro.”

33The guys were lowkey watching for any news, and when they caught on, they said, “Your bro Ben–hadad is here.” Then he was like, “Bet, go get him.” So Ben–hadad rolled up, and he made him hop in the chariot.

34Ben–hadad was like, “I’ll give back the cities my dad took from yours, and you can have streets in Damascus like my dad did in Samaria.” Ahab was like, “Aight, let’s make a deal.” So they made a pact and he let him go.

35Then a certain dude from the prophet squad said to his homie, “Yo, hit me, please.” But the guy was like, “Nah, I’m good.”

36The prophet was like, “Since you didn’t listen to the Lord, just know, as soon as you bounce, a lion’s gonna take you out.” And as soon as he left, a lion found him and ended him.

37Then he found another dude and said, “Yo, hit me, please.” The guy smacked him, and it got real messy.

38So the prophet dipped, waiting for the king on the road, and put ashes on his face to disguise himself.

39As the king rolled by, he yelled out, “Yo, your servant was in the battle, and a dude pulled me aside, saying, ‘Keep this guy safe. If he goes missing, your life for his, or you owe a talent of silver.’”

40And I was busy here and there, and he vanished. The king of Israel was like, “That’s your judgment; you made that choice.”

41Dude was quick, wiped the ashes off his face, and the king of Israel was like, "I see you, prophet vibes."

42He hit him with, "God's saying, you let that dude go when he was supposed to be toast, so now your life is his life, and your crew is his crew, no cap."

43The king of Israel bounced back home all heavy and annoyed, then rolled up to Samaria.

1And Ben–hadad the king of Syria gathered all his host together: and there were thirty and two kings with him, and horses, and chariots: and he went up and besieged Samaria, and warred against it.

2And he sent messengers to Ahab king of Israel into the city, and said unto him, Thus saith Ben–hadad,

3Thy silver and thy gold is mine; thy wives also and thy children, even the goodliest, are mine.

4And the king of Israel answered and said, My lord, O king, according to thy saying, I am thine, and all that I have.

5And the messengers came again, and said, Thus speaketh Ben–hadad, saying, Although I have sent unto thee, saying, Thou shalt deliver me thy silver, and thy gold, and thy wives, and thy children;

6Yet I will send my servants unto thee to morrow about this time, and they shall search thine house, and the houses of thy servants; and it shall be, that whatsoever is pleasant in thine eyes, they shall put it in their hand, and take it away.

7Then the king of Israel called all the elders of the land, and said, Mark, I pray you, and see how this man seeketh mischief: for he sent unto me for my wives, and for my children, and for my silver, and for my gold; and I denied him not.

8And all the elders and all the people said unto him, Hearken not unto him, nor consent.

9Wherefore he said unto the messengers of Ben–hadad, Tell my lord the king, All that thou didst send for to thy servant at the first I will do: but this thing I may not do. And the messengers departed, and brought him word again.

10And Ben–hadad sent unto him, and said, The gods do so unto me, and more also, if the dust of Samaria shall suffice for handfuls for all the people that follow me.

11And the king of Israel answered and said, Tell him, Let not him that girdeth on his harness boast himself as he that putteth it off.

12And it came to pass, when Ben–hadad heard this message, as he was drinking, he and the kings in the pavilions, that he said unto his servants, Set yourselves in array. And they set themselves in array against the city.

13And, behold, there came a prophet unto Ahab king of Israel, saying, Thus saith the Lord, Hast thou seen all this great multitude? behold, I will deliver it into thine hand this day; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord.

14And Ahab said, By whom? And he said, Thus saith the Lord, Even by the young men of the princes of the provinces. Then he said, Who shall order the battle? And he answered, Thou.

15Then he numbered the young men of the princes of the provinces, and they were two hundred and thirty two: and after them he numbered all the people, even all the children of Israel, being seven thousand.

16And they went out at noon. But Ben–hadad was drinking himself drunk in the pavilions, he and the kings, the thirty and two kings that helped him.

17And the young men of the princes of the provinces went out first; and Ben–hadad sent out, and they told him, saying, There are men come out of Samaria.

18And he said, Whether they be come out for peace, take them alive; or whether they be come out for war, take them alive.

19So these young men of the princes of the provinces came out of the city, and the army which followed them.

20And they slew every one his man: and the Syrians fled; and Israel pursued them: and Ben–hadad the king of Syria escaped on an horse with the horsemen.

21And the king of Israel went out, and smote the horses and chariots, and slew the Syrians with a great slaughter.

22And the prophet came to the king of Israel, and said unto him, Go, strengthen thyself, and mark, and see what thou doest: for at the return of the year the king of Syria will come up against thee.

23And the servants of the king of Syria said unto him, Their gods are gods of the hills; therefore they were stronger than we; but let us fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be stronger than they.

24And do this thing, Take the kings away, every man out of his place, and put captains in their rooms:

25And number thee an army, like the army that thou hast lost, horse for horse, and chariot for chariot: and we will fight against them in the plain, and surely we shall be stronger than they. And he hearkened unto their voice, and did so.

26And it came to pass at the return of the year, that Ben–hadad numbered the Syrians, and went up to Aphek, to fight against Israel.

27And the children of Israel were numbered, and were all present, and went against them: and the children of Israel pitched before them like two little flocks of kids; but the Syrians filled the country.

28And there came a man of God, and spake unto the king of Israel, and said, Thus saith the Lord, Because the Syrians have said, The Lord is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am the Lord.

29And they pitched one over against the other seven days. And so it was, that in the seventh day the battle was joined: and the children of Israel slew of the Syrians an hundred thousand footmen in one day.

30But the rest fled to Aphek, into the city; and there a wall fell upon twenty and seven thousand of the men that were left. And Ben–hadad fled, and came into the city, into an inner chamber.

31And his servants said unto him, Behold now, we have heard that the kings of the house of Israel are merciful kings: let us, I pray thee, put sackcloth on our loins, and ropes upon our heads, and go out to the king of Israel: peradventure he will save thy life.

32So they girded sackcloth on their loins, and put ropes on their heads, and came to the king of Israel, and said, Thy servant Ben–hadad saith, I pray thee, let me live. And he said, Is he yet alive? he is my brother.

33Now the men did diligently observe whether any thing would come from him, and did hastily catch it: and they said, Thy brother Ben–hadad. Then he said, Go ye, bring him. Then Ben–hadad came forth to him; and he caused him to come up into the chariot.

34And Ben–hadad said unto him, The cities, which my father took from thy father, I will restore; and thou shalt make streets for thee in Damascus, as my father made in Samaria. Then said Ahab, I will send thee away with this covenant. So he made a covenant with him, and sent him away.

35And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the Lord, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him.

36Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the Lord, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.

37Then he found another man, and said, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man smote him, so that in smiting he wounded him.

38So the prophet departed, and waited for the king by the way, and disguised himself with ashes upon his face.

39And as the king passed by, he cried unto the king: and he said, Thy servant went out into the midst of the battle; and, behold, a man turned aside, and brought a man unto me, and said, Keep this man: if by any means he be missing, then shall thy life be for his life, or else thou shalt pay a talent of silver.

40And as thy servant was busy here and there, he was gone. And the king of Israel said unto him, So shall thy judgment be; thyself hast decided it.

41And he hasted, and took the ashes away from his face; and the king of Israel discerned him that he was of the prophets.

42And he said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Because thou hast let go out of thy hand a man whom I appointed to utter destruction, therefore thy life shall go for his life, and thy people for his people.

43And the king of Israel went to his house heavy and displeased, and came to Samaria.