1And the Lord was like, "Moses, listen up,"

2Tell the kids of Israel to kick out anyone with leprosy, anyone who's got issues, and anyone who's touched a dead body, no cap.

3Both guys and gals gotta be sent out; don't let them mess up the camp where I chill.

4The Israelites did what God said and sent them out of the camp, just like the Lord told Moses, periodt.

5And the Lord was like, "Moses, check this out,"

6Tell the Israelites that if anyone messes up and sins against the Lord, they gotta own up to it.

7They need to confess their mess-ups, pay back what they owe, plus 20% extra, and give it to the person they wronged.

8But if the dude has no one to pay back, he can give it to the Lord, like, to the priest, along with a ram for atonement, that's how you make it right.

9And everything the Israelites bring to the priest from their holy stuff? That's all for him, slaps.

10Every dude's holy stuff is his own; whatever anyone gives to the priest, that’s all his, fr.

11Yo, the Lord hit up Moses and was like,

12Tell the squad of Israel, if a dude’s wife is acting sus and messes around,

13And a guy gets with her on the low, and it’s all hush-hush from her husband, and she’s messed up, but no one’s seen it go down;

14And jealousy hits him hard, and he’s salty about his wife being defiled, or if he’s just feeling jealous for no reason:

15Then the dude should take his wife to the priest, and he’s gotta bring her a snack offering, just a little barley meal; no oil or frankincense, 'cause it’s a jealousy thing, a reminder of the drama.

16The priest will bring her close and put her in front of the Lord:

17The priest will grab some holy water in a clay jar; he’ll scoop up some dust from the tabernacle floor and throw it in the water:

18Then the priest will put the woman in front of the Lord, take off her head covering, and give her the reminder offering, which is the jealousy offering, while holding the bitter water that brings the curse:

19The priest will make her swear an oath and say, "If no dude has been with you and you haven’t been unfaithful, you’re good to go with this bitter water:

20But if you’ve been sneaky with another guy instead of your husband, and you’re defiled, and some other dude has been with you, then it’s a whole different vibe:"

21The priest's gotta hit the woman with a curse oath, saying, "God's gonna make you a whole vibe of a curse among your people if your thigh starts rotting and your belly swells, no cap."

22This curse water’s gonna go right into your guts, making your belly swell and your thigh rot. The woman’s gotta say, "Amen, amen."

23The priest's gonna jot down these curses in a book and wipe them out with the bitter water, fr.

24He’s gonna make her drink that bitter water that brings the curse, and it’s gonna hit her hard and be all bitter inside.

25Then the priest's gonna take the jealousy offering from her hand, wave it before God, and pop it off on the altar.

26The priest's gonna grab a handful of that offering, burn it on the altar, then make the woman drink the water, periodt.

27After she drinks, if she’s been sus and cheated on her husband, that curse water's gonna hit her hard, making her belly swell and thigh rot, and she’ll be a whole curse among her people.

28But if she’s clean and not defiled, she’s good to go and can still have kids, lit.

29This is the law for jealousy when a wife goes off to another dude instead of her husband and gets all messed up.

30Or when jealousy vibes hit him over his wife, and he brings her before God, the priest's gotta enforce all this law on her, no cap.

31Bro, the dude’s off the hook for his wrongs, but this girl gotta own her stuff.

1And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,

2Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath an issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead:

3Both male and female shall ye put out, without the camp shall ye put them; that they defile not their camps, in the midst whereof I dwell.

4And the children of Israel did so, and put them out without the camp: as the Lord spake unto Moses, so did the children of Israel.

5And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,

6Speak unto the children of Israel, When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to do a trespass against the Lord, and that person be guilty;

7Then they shall confess their sin which they have done: and he shall recompense his trespass with the principal thereof, and add unto it the fifth part thereof, and give it unto him against whom he hath trespassed.

8But if the man have no kinsman to recompense the trespass unto, let the trespass be recompensed unto the Lord, even to the priest; beside the ram of the atonement, whereby an atonement shall be made for him.

9And every offering of all the holy things of the children of Israel, which they bring unto the priest, shall be his.

10And every man’s hallowed things shall be his: whatsoever any man giveth the priest, it shall be his.

11And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,

12Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man’s wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him,

13And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner;

14And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled:

15Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance.

16And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the Lord:

17And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water:

18And the priest shall set the woman before the Lord, and uncover the woman’s head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:

19And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse:

20But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband:

21Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The Lord make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the Lord doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell;

22And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.

23And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot them out with the bitter water:

24And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter.

25Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman’s hand, and shall wave the offering before the Lord, and offer it upon the altar:

26And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water.

27And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.

28And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed.

29This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled;

30Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law.

31Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.