Gen Z: Numbers 16
1So Korah, Izhar's kid, Kohath's grandkid, Levi's fam, and Dathan and Abiram, Eliab's sons, plus On, Peleth's son, Reuben's crew, rolled deep with some peeps:
2They pulled up on Moses with 250 lit leaders from the squad, all known and respected in the crew:
3They gathered up against Moses and Aaron, like, "Y'all think you're all that? Everyone's holy here, and the Lord's with us. Why you acting like you're above the squad?"
4When Moses caught wind of this, he straight-up fell on his face:
5He told Korah and his homies, "Tomorrow, the Lord's gonna show who’s really His and who's holy; the one He picks will roll up to Him."
6"Do this: Grab your censers, Korah, and your whole crew;
7Put fire and incense in them before the Lord tomorrow: the one the Lord chooses is the real deal; you guys are doing too much, Levi fam."
8Moses said to Korah, "Yo, listen up, Levi fam:
9You think it's no big deal that the God of Israel set you apart from the squad to bring you closer to do His work at the tabernacle and serve the crew?"
10"He's brought you and your Levi bros near to Him; are you trying to grab the priesthood too?"
11Y'all are trippin', gathering against the Lord like that. What’s Aaron even doing here? Chill with the murmurs.
12Moses hit up Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab, and they were like, “Nah, we ain't coming up.”
13You really think it’s cool that you took us from a land flowing with milk and honey just to off us in the desert? You just wanna flex as our ruler?
14Plus, you didn’t even bring us into the land of milk and honey or give us any dope fields or vineyards. You trying to blind these dudes? We ain't coming up.
15Moses was super mad and told the Lord, "Don’t even look at their offerings. I ain't taken anything from them, and I haven’t hurt a single one."
16Moses said to Korah, "You and your crew gotta show up before the Lord tomorrow, you, them, and Aaron."
17Grab your censers, throw some incense in them, and bring them before the Lord—250 censers, plus you and Aaron, each with yours.
18They all lit their censers, added fire, and incense, then stood at the tabernacle door with Moses and Aaron.
19Korah rallied the whole crew against them at the tabernacle door, and the Lord’s glory showed up for everyone to see.
20And the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying,
21Dip from this squad so I can handle them real quick, no cap.
22They hit the ground and were like, "Yo God, the one who vibes with all living things, is it cool for one dude to mess up and you get mad at everyone?"
23And the Lord was like, "Moses, listen up."
24Tell the crew to bounce from the tents of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.
25So Moses stood up and rolled over to Dathan and Abiram, and the Israel elders were right behind him.
26He told the congregation, "Yo, get away from these sus dudes and don’t touch their stuff, or you’ll get caught up in their mess."
27They backed off from the tents of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, and those guys came out, chilling at their tent doors with their fam.
28Moses was like, "You’ll know the Lord sent me to do this because I didn’t just make this up."
29If these dudes die like regular peeps or get the usual treatment, then the Lord didn’t send me.
30But if the Lord does something wild, like opens the ground and swallows them whole, then you’ll get it: these guys made the Lord mad.
31So after he finished dropping all these words, the ground just split like, whoa.
32The earth opened wide, swallowed them whole, their cribs, and all the homies with Korah, no cap.
33They all went down alive into the pit, and the earth just shut back up on them: poof, gone from the squad.
34All the Israelites around dipped fast at their screams, thinking, "Yo, we might get swallowed too!"
35Then fire straight up came from the Lord and toasted the 250 guys who were burning incense, savage.
36The Lord hit up Moses and said,
37Tell Eleazar, Aaron's son, to grab the censers from the flames and spread the fire over there; they’re blessed.
38The censers from these sinners who messed up, make them into wide plates for the altar covering: they offered them to the Lord, so they're blessed and a sign for the Israelites.
39Eleazar the priest took the bronze censers that the burnt ones had used; they became wide plates for the altar covering.
40To remind the Israelites that no outsider, not from Aaron's fam, should come close to offer incense to the Lord; or they’ll end up like Korah and his crew: just like the Lord told Moses.
41But the next day, all the squad of Israel was like, "Yo, Moses and Aaron, you totally wiped out the Lord's peeps!"
42Then, when the crew gathered against Moses and Aaron, they peeped the tabernacle and saw a cloud covering it, and the glory of the Lord was like, "What’s good?"
43So Moses and Aaron rolled up to the tabernacle.
44And the Lord hit up Moses with a message, saying,
45"Bounce from this crowd so I can wipe them out in a hot sec." And they were all like, "Nah, we’re down."
46Moses told Aaron, "Grab a censer, light that fire from the altar, throw on some incense, and hustle to the squad to make things right, 'cause the Lord is not vibing; the plague's already poppin'."
47Aaron did what Moses said and dashed into the crowd; the plague was already hitting hard, so he lit the incense and made it right for the people.
48He stood between the dead and the living, and the plague chilled out.
49For real, fourteen thousand seven hundred peeps kicked the bucket from the plague, not counting those who died over Korah's drama.
50Aaron bounced back to Moses at the entrance of the tabernacle, and the plague was finally over.