1As they rolled up to Jerusalem, hitting up Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his homies.

2He was like, "Yo, head to that village over there, and right away you’ll find a donkey tied up with her baby. Unleash them and bring them to me."

3And if anyone asks you what's good, just say, "The Lord needs them," and they'll be like, "Bet."

4All this went down to make sure what the prophet said was on point.

5Tell the daughter of Zion, "Yo, your King is coming through, chill and riding on a donkey, and a colt too."

6The disciples dipped out and did what Jesus told them, no cap.

7They brought the donkey and the colt, threw their clothes on them, and set Jesus up there.

8A huge crowd spread their fits on the road; others were chopping down branches and laying them down.

9The squad in front and behind were hyped, shouting, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is the one rolling in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest!"

10When he pulled into Jerusalem, the whole city was shook, asking, "Who’s this?"

11The crowd was like, "Yo, that’s Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee. Vibes."

12Jesus rolled up to the temple and straight-up kicked out all the sellers, flipping tables and tossing out the money changers. Savage.

13He told them, "It’s written, my crib’s a house of prayer, but y’all turned it into a thieves’ hideout. No cap."

14The blind and lame came through, and he healed them. Goated.

15The chief priests and scribes peeped the amazing stuff he was doing, plus the kids shouting "Hosanna to the Son of David," and they were mad salty.

16They asked him, "Did you hear what they’re saying?" Jesus was like, "Yeah, haven’t you read? Out of the mouths of kids, you’ve perfected praise. Periodt."

17Then he dipped, leaving the city for Bethany, and crashed there.

18The next morning, as he came back to the city, he was feeling hungry.

19He spotted a fig tree on the way, checked it out, but only found leaves, so he said, "No fruit for you forever." And boom, the fig tree dried up.

20When the disciples saw that, they were shook, saying, "How fast did that fig tree wither away?"

21Jesus was like, "No cap, if you got faith and don’t doubt, you can do this fig tree thing and even tell a mountain to peace out into the sea; it’ll happen, fr."

22And for real, whatever you ask in prayer with belief, you’re gonna get it.

23So when he rolled up to the temple, the big shots and the elders were like, "Who gave you the rizz to do all this?"

24Jesus was like, "Bet, I’ll ask you something too, and if you spill the tea, I’ll tell you where my authority comes from."

25"So what’s the deal with John’s baptism? Heaven’s vibe or just people’s?" They were low-key debating, thinking, "If we say heaven, he’ll hit us with, ‘Why didn’t you believe him?’"

26"But if we say it’s just people, we’re sus of the crowd ‘cause they all vibe with John as a prophet."

27They told Jesus, "We can’t say." And he was like, "Then I’m not telling you where my authority comes from, periodt."

28"So what’s your take? A dude had two sons, and he said to the first, ‘Yo, go work in my vineyard today.’"

29He was like, "Nah," but later he had a change of heart and went.

30Then he went to the second and said the same thing. The second was like, "I’m in, sir," but didn’t show up.

31So which one actually did what their dad wanted? They were like, "The first." Jesus hit them with, "No cap, the tax collectors and the sinners are vibing their way into the kingdom of God before y’all."

32John came through with the righteous vibes, but y’all didn’t believe him. The tax collectors and sinners did, and even after seeing it, you didn’t change your minds to believe him.

33Listen up, here’s another story: There was this dude who planted a vineyard, put up a fence, dug a winepress, built a tower, and rented it out to some farmers before dipping to another place.

34When it was time for the harvest, he sent his servants to the farmers to collect the fruits.

35But the farmers took his servants, beat one up, killed another, and stoned another.

36He sent even more servants than before, and they treated them the same way.

37Finally, he sent his son, saying, "They’ll respect my son for sure."

38But when the farmers saw the son, they were like, "This is the heir; let’s kill him and take his stuff."

39So they grabbed him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him.

40When the owner of the vineyard comes back, what do you think he’ll do to those farmers?

41They were like, "He's gonna totally wreck those wicked dudes and hand his vineyard to other peeps who will bring the goods when it's time. No cap."

42Jesus was like, "Did you not peep the scriptures? The stone the builders ghosted is now the main character. This is all God's vibe, and it’s straight-up lit to us."

43So I'm telling you, the kingdom of God is getting snatched from you and given to a nation that actually brings the fruits. Periodt.

44Anyone who trips over this stone is gonna be broken, but whoever it falls on? Yeah, that’s a whole grind to dust.

45When the top priests and Pharisees caught wind of his stories, they realized he was low-key talking about them.

46But when they tried to grab him, they got shook by the crowd, 'cause everyone thought he was a prophet.

1And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples,

2Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.

3And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them.

4All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying,

5Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass.

6And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them,

7And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon.

8And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way.

9And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.

10And when he was come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, Who is this?

11And the multitude said, This is Jesus the prophet of Nazareth of Galilee.

12And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

13And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

14And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them.

15And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David; they were sore displeased,

16And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?

17And he left them, and went out of the city into Bethany; and he lodged there.

18Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered.

19And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.

20And when the disciples saw it, they marvelled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away!

21Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.

22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

23And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority?

24And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.

25The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?

26But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.

27And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.

28But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard.

29He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went.

30And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not.

31Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.

32For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him.

33Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:

34And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it.

35And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.

36Again, he sent other servants more than the first: and they did unto them likewise.

37But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.

38But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.

39And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.

40When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?

41They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.

42Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?

43Therefore say I unto you, The kingdom of God shall be taken from you, and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.

44And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

45And when the chief priests and Pharisees had heard his parables, they perceived that he spake of them.

46But when they sought to lay hands on him, they feared the multitude, because they took him for a prophet.