1So one day, while he was vibing and teaching in the temple, the chief priests and scribes rolled up with the elders, no cap.

2They were like, "Yo, who gave you the rizz to do all this? Spill the tea."

3He was all, "Bet, I got a question for you too; just answer me."

4"Was John's baptism from heaven or just some human thing?"

5They were lowkey debating, like, "If we say heaven, he’ll be like, 'Then why didn’t you believe him?'"

6"But if we say it’s just from people, the crowd will be savage and stone us, ‘cause they think John was a prophet."

7They ended up saying they had no clue where it came from.

8Jesus was like, "Well, I ain't telling you where my authority comes from either."

9Then he started sharing this lit parable: a dude planted a vineyard, gave it to some farmers, and dipped to a faraway place for a hot minute.

10When the season hit, he sent a servant to the farmers to get some of that vineyard fruit, but they straight up beat him and sent him away empty-handed.

11He sent another servant, but they totally dissed him, beat him up, and sent him away with nothing.

12Then he sent a third, and they hurt him too and kicked him out.

13The lord of the vineyard was like, "What should I do? I’ll send my fave son; maybe they’ll show him some respect."

14But when the workers saw him, they were like, "This dude’s the heir; let’s off him so we can have the goods."

15So they booted him from the vineyard and took him out. What’s the lord gonna do about that?

16He’s gonna come and wreck those workers and give the vineyard to others. They heard this and were like, "No cap, that can’t happen!"

17He looked at them and said, "What’s up with this: The stone the builders rejected is now the main piece?"

18Anyone who falls on that stone will get wrecked; but if it falls on you, it’s game over.

19The chief priests and scribes were tryna grab him right then, but they were shook of the crowd since they knew he was throwing shade at them.

20They were watching him and sent spies who pretended to be chill, just to catch him slipping with his words to hand him over to the governor.

21They were like, "Yo, Master, we know you keep it real and don’t play favorites, just spitting the truth about God, fr."

22"So, is it cool for us to pay taxes to Caesar or nah?"

23But he peeped their sus vibes and was like, "Why you tryna test me?"

24"Show me a coin. Whose face is on it?" They were like, "Caesar's, duh."

25And he said, "So, give Caesar what’s his, and give God what’s God's, periodt."

26They couldn't catch him slipping with his words in front of the crowd; they were shook by his reply and just stayed quiet.

27Then some Sadducees rolled up, the ones who don’t believe in resurrection, and they asked him,

28"Yo, Master, Moses said if a guy's bro dies and he’s got a wife but no kids, the bro should marry her and have kids for him."

29"So, there were seven bros: the first married a girl and died without kids."

30"Then the second bro married her too and he also died childless."

31The third dude took her, and the other seven did the same; no kids were left, and they all peaced out.

32Finally, the woman dipped too.

33So like, in the resurrection, whose wifey is she? Seven guys had her, no cap.

34Jesus was like, "In this world, people marry and get hitched, vibes."

35But those who are lit enough to vibe in the next life don’t marry or get hitched, periodt.

36They can’t die again either; they’re like angels, and they’re straight-up children of God, being the kids of the resurrection.

37Now that the dead are back, even Moses showed us at the bush, calling God the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

38He ain't a God of the dead, but of the living: everyone’s alive to him, fr.

39Then some of the scribes were like, "Yo, Master, you’re spitting facts."

40After that, they didn’t even wanna ask him anything else, savage.

41He was like, "How do they even say Christ is David’s kid? That's sus."

42David's all like in the Psalms, "The Lord told my Lord, 'Chill at my right hand.'"

43"Until I make your haters your footrest, no cap."

44So David calls him Lord, but how's he his son then? That's wild.

45Then in front of everyone, he told his crew,

46"Watch out for the scribes, they flex with their long robes and love getting noticed in the streets, sitting in the VIP spots at church and feasts."

47"They’re out here stealing from widows and acting all holy with long prayers: those guys are gonna get hit with the biggest consequences."

1And it came to pass, that on one of those days, as he taught the people in the temple, and preached the gospel, the chief priests and the scribes came upon him with the elders,

2And spake unto him, saying, Tell us, by what authority doest thou these things? or who is he that gave thee this authority?

3And he answered and said unto them, I will also ask you one thing; and answer me:

4The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?

5And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say, Why then believed ye him not?

6But and if we say, Of men; all the people will stone us: for they be persuaded that John was a prophet.

7And they answered, that they could not tell whence it was.

8And Jesus said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.

9Then began he to speak to the people this parable; A certain man planted a vineyard, and let it forth to husbandmen, and went into a far country for a long time.

10And at the season he sent a servant to the husbandmen, that they should give him of the fruit of the vineyard: but the husbandmen beat him, and sent him away empty.

11And again he sent another servant: and they beat him also, and entreated him shamefully, and sent him away empty.

12And again he sent a third: and they wounded him also, and cast him out.

13Then said the lord of the vineyard, What shall I do? I will send my beloved son: it may be they will reverence him when they see him.

14But when the husbandmen saw him, they reasoned among themselves, saying, This is the heir: come, let us kill him, that the inheritance may be ours.

15So they cast him out of the vineyard, and killed him. What therefore shall the lord of the vineyard do unto them?

16He shall come and destroy these husbandmen, and shall give the vineyard to others. And when they heard it, they said, God forbid.

17And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner?

18Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

19And the chief priests and the scribes the same hour sought to lay hands on him; and they feared the people: for they perceived that he had spoken this parable against them.

20And they watched him, and sent forth spies, which should feign themselves just men, that they might take hold of his words, that so they might deliver him unto the power and authority of the governor.

21And they asked him, saying, Master, we know that thou sayest and teachest rightly, neither acceptest thou the person of any, but teachest the way of God truly:

22Is it lawful for us to give tribute unto Cesar, or no?

23But he perceived their craftiness, and said unto them, Why tempt ye me?

24Shew me a penny. Whose image and superscription hath it? They answered and said, Cesar’s.

25And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Cesar the things which be Cesar’s, and unto God the things which be God’s.

26And they could not take hold of his words before the people: and they marvelled at his answer, and held their peace.

27Then came to him certain of the Sadducees, which deny that there is any resurrection; and they asked him,

28Saying, Master, Moses wrote unto us, If any man’s brother die, having a wife, and he die without children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.

29There were therefore seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and died without children.

30And the second took her to wife, and he died childless.

31And the third took her; and in like manner the seven also: and they left no children, and died.

32Last of all the woman died also.

33Therefore in the resurrection whose wife of them is she? for seven had her to wife.

34And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:

35But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:

36Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.

37Now that the dead are raised, even Moses shewed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.

38For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.

39Then certain of the scribes answering said, Master, thou hast well said.

40And after that they durst not ask him any question at all.

41And he said unto them, How say they that Christ is David’s son?

42And David himself saith in the book of Psalms, The Lord said unto my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand,

43Till I make thine enemies thy footstool.

44David therefore calleth him Lord, how is he then his son?

45Then in the audience of all the people he said unto his disciples,

46Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts;

47Which devour widows’ houses, and for a shew make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation.