Gen Z: Leviticus 8
1And the Lord hit up Moses, saying,
2Grab Aaron and his fam, the drip, the holy oil, a bull for the sin vibes, two rams, and a basket of no yeast bread;
3Gather the whole squad at the tabernacle door, no cap.
4Moses was like, “Bet,” and everyone showed up at the tabernacle door.
5Moses told the crew, “This is what the Lord wants us to do.”
6Moses brought Aaron and his boys and gave them a rinse with water.
7He threw on the coat, strapped him up with the belt, draped him in the robe, and put the ephod on him, securing it tight.
8He slapped the breastplate on him and tossed in the Urim and Thummim for extra vibes.
9He topped it off with the mitre, and on that, he put the golden plate, the holy crown, just like the Lord told Moses.
10Moses took the holy oil, anointed the tabernacle and everything in it, and set it apart, periodt.
11He sprinkled that vibe on the altar seven times, anointed it and all the gear, like the laver and its foot, to keep it all sanctified, no cap.
12He poured the anointing oil on Aaron's head and anointed him, keeping it lit.
13Moses brought Aaron's sons, threw some coats on them, strapped them up with girdles, and put bonnets on their heads; just like the Lord told him to pop off.
14He brought the bull for the sin offering, and Aaron and his sons laid hands on its head, straight up.
15He took it out; Moses grabbed the blood and smeared it on the altar horns with his finger, purified it, and poured the blood at the bottom, making it all reconciled.
16He took all the fat from the inside, the caul above the liver, the two kidneys, and their fat, and Moses burned it on the altar, fr.
17But the bull, its hide, flesh, and dung? He burnt that outside the camp; just like the Lord told Moses, savage.
18He brought the ram for the burnt offering, and Aaron and his sons laid hands on its head, vibes.
19He took it out; Moses sprinkled the blood all over the altar, no cap.
20He chopped the ram into pieces; Moses burned the head, the pieces, and the fat, and it was bussin.
21He washed the insides and legs in water; then Moses straight up roasted the whole ram on the altar: it was a lit sacrifice for good vibes, an offering to the Lord, just like God told Moses.
22He brought the other ram, the consecration one: Aaron and his crew put their hands on its head, no cap.
23Then he took it out; Moses grabbed some blood and put it on the tip of Aaron’s right ear, his right thumb, and his right big toe.
24He brought Aaron’s sons, and Moses put the blood on the tips of their right ears, thumbs, and big toes: then he sprinkled the blood all around the altar, pop off!
25He took the fat, the rump, and all the fatty bits from the insides, plus the caul over the liver, the two kidneys, and their fat, and the right shoulder: savage.
26From the basket of unleavened bread before the Lord, he grabbed one unleavened cake, a cake of oiled bread, and a wafer, then put them on the fat and the right shoulder: bussin.
27He put all that on Aaron’s hands and his sons’ hands, and waved it as a wave offering before the Lord, fr.
28Moses took them from their hands and roasted them on the altar with the burnt offering: they were consecrations for good vibes, an offering made by fire to the Lord.
29Moses took the breast and waved it as a wave offering before the Lord: it was his part from the consecration ram, just as the Lord commanded.
30Moses took some anointing oil and the blood from the altar and sprinkled it on Aaron, his clothes, his sons, and their clothes: he sanctified Aaron and his drip, and his sons and their drip, periodt.
31Moses told Aaron and his crew, "Boil that meat at the tabernacle door and munch on it with the bread from the consecration basket, just like I said. Aaron and fam gotta eat that."
32Whatever's left of the meat and bread? Just burn that up, no cap.
33Don’t step outta the tabernacle door for seven days, fam, until your consecration days are done. You gotta be set apart for seven days.
34Just like today, the Lord said to do this for your atonement, fr.
35So you guys chill at the tabernacle door day and night for seven days, keeping it lit for the Lord, or else you might catch a vibe that’s not good. That’s the command.
36Aaron and his sons followed all the instructions the Lord gave through Moses, and that’s just goated.