1So Jerubbaal, aka Gideon, and his crew woke up mad early and set up camp by the well of Harod while the Midianites were chillin' to the north by Moreh Hill in the valley.

2God told Gideon, "Your squad is way too many for me to handle the Midianites, or else Israel will flex on me like they did it all themselves."

3So, God said, "Tell the people, if you're feeling scared, bounce back from Mount Gilead." And 22k dipped, leaving only 10k.

4God was like, "Still too many! Bring them to the water, and I'll see who's legit." Whoever I say can roll with you, they’re in; if not, they’re out.

5Gideon took them to the water, and God said, "Anyone who drinks like a dog, set them aside; same for those who kneel down."

6Only 300 dudes lapped like dogs; the rest were on their knees drinking.

7God told Gideon, "With these 300 who lapped, I’ll save you and hand the Midianites over to you; let the rest go home."

8So the people grabbed their snacks and trumpets, and Gideon sent everyone else back to their tents, keeping those 300. The Midianite army was below in the valley.

9That same night, God told Gideon, "Get down to the camp; I got it in your hands."

10But if you're scared to go down, take your boy Phurah with you.

11You’ll hear what they say, and then you’ll feel pumped to head down. So, Gideon and Phurah went to the edge of the camp.

12The Midianites and Amalekites were stacked in the valley like grasshoppers, and their camels were countless like sand by the beach.

13When Gideon showed up, he heard a dude telling his friend about a dream: "I dreamed a cake of barley bread rolled into the Midian camp and wiped out a tent!"

14His friend replied, "That’s gotta be Gideon’s sword, son of Joash! God’s handing Midian over to him."

15When Gideon caught wind of the dream and its meaning, he worshipped and went back to Israel’s camp, saying, "Get up; God’s got the Midianites in your hands!"

16He split the 300 men into three groups, gave each a trumpet, and had them hold empty jars with lamps inside.

17He said, "Watch me and do the same; when I hit the camp, you do what I do."

18When I blow the trumpet, you all blow yours around the camp and shout, "The sword of the Lord and Gideon!"

19So Gideon and his 100 homies went to the camp at the start of the middle watch, just as the guards were setting up. They blew the trumpets and smashed the jars.

20The three groups blew their trumpets, smashed the jars, held the lamps in their left hands, and trumpets in their right, shouting, "The sword of the Lord and Gideon!"

21Everyone stood their ground around the camp, and the whole army freaked out, screaming and running away.

22The 300 blew their trumpets, and God made every man’s sword turn on his buddy, causing chaos; the army fled to Beth-shittah and beyond.

23The Israelites gathered from Naphtali, Asher, and Manasseh to chase the Midianites.

24Gideon sent messengers all over Mount Ephraim, saying, "Come down on the Midianites and block the waters at Beth-barah and the Jordan." The Ephraim guys teamed up and took those waters.

25They caught two Midianite princes, Oreb and Zeeb, took out Oreb on his rock, and Zeeb at the winepress, then brought their heads back to Gideon across the Jordan.

1Then Jerubbaal, who is Gideon, and all the people that were with him, rose up early, and pitched beside the well of Harod: so that the host of the Midianites were on the north side of them, by the hill of Moreh, in the valley.

2And the Lord said unto Gideon, The people that are with thee are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel vaunt themselves against me, saying, Mine own hand hath saved me.

3Now therefore go to, proclaim in the ears of the people, saying, Whosoever is fearful and afraid, let him return and depart early from mount Gilead. And there returned of the people twenty and two thousand; and there remained ten thousand.

4And the Lord said unto Gideon, The people are yet too many; bring them down unto the water, and I will try them for thee there: and it shall be, that of whom I say unto thee, This shall go with thee, the same shall go with thee; and of whomsoever I say unto thee, This shall not go with thee, the same shall not go.

5So he brought down the people unto the water: and the Lord said unto Gideon, Every one that lappeth of the water with his tongue, as a dog lappeth, him shalt thou set by himself; likewise every one that boweth down upon his knees to drink.

6And the number of them that lapped, putting their hand to their mouth, were three hundred men: but all the rest of the people bowed down upon their knees to drink water.

7And the Lord said unto Gideon, By the three hundred men that lapped will I save you, and deliver the Midianites into thine hand: and let all the other people go every man unto his place.

8So the people took victuals in their hand, and their trumpets: and he sent all the rest of Israel every man unto his tent, and retained those three hundred men: and the host of Midian was beneath him in the valley.

9And it came to pass the same night, that the Lord said unto him, Arise, get thee down unto the host; for I have delivered it into thine hand.

10But if thou fear to go down, go thou with Phurah thy servant down to the host:

11And thou shalt hear what they say; and afterward shall thine hands be strengthened to go down unto the host. Then went he down with Phurah his servant unto the outside of the armed men that were in the host.

12And the Midianites and the Amalekites and all the children of the east lay along in the valley like grasshoppers for multitude; and their camels were without number, as the sand by the sea side for multitude.

13And when Gideon was come, behold, there was a man that told a dream unto his fellow, and said, Behold, I dreamed a dream, and, lo, a cake of barley bread tumbled into the host of Midian, and came unto a tent, and smote it that it fell, and overturned it, that the tent lay along.

14And his fellow answered and said, This is nothing else save the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel: for into his hand hath God delivered Midian, and all the host.

15And it was so, when Gideon heard the telling of the dream, and the interpretation thereof, that he worshipped, and returned into the host of Israel, and said, Arise; for the Lord hath delivered into your hand the host of Midian.

16And he divided the three hundred men into three companies, and he put a trumpet in every man’s hand, with empty pitchers, and lamps within the pitchers.

17And he said unto them, Look on me, and do likewise: and, behold, when I come to the outside of the camp, it shall be that, as I do, so shall ye do.

18When I blow with a trumpet, I and all that are with me, then blow ye the trumpets also on every side of all the camp, and say, The sword of the Lord, and of Gideon.

19So Gideon, and the hundred men that were with him, came unto the outside of the camp in the beginning of the middle watch; and they had but newly set the watch: and they blew the trumpets, and brake the pitchers that were in their hands.

20And the three companies blew the trumpets, and brake the pitchers, and held the lamps in their left hands, and the trumpets in their right hands to blow withal: and they cried, The sword of the Lord, and of Gideon.

21And they stood every man in his place round about the camp: and all the host ran, and cried, and fled.

22And the three hundred blew the trumpets, and the Lord set every man’s sword against his fellow, even throughout all the host: and the host fled to Beth–shittah in Zererath, and to the border of Abel–meholah, unto Tabbath.

23And the men of Israel gathered themselves together out of Naphtali, and out of Asher, and out of all Manasseh, and pursued after the Midianites.

24And Gideon sent messengers throughout all mount Ephraim, saying, Come down against the Midianites, and take before them the waters unto Beth–barah and Jordan. Then all the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and took the waters unto Beth–barah and Jordan.

25And they took two princes of the Midianites, Oreb and Zeeb; and they slew Oreb upon the rock Oreb, and Zeeb they slew at the winepress of Zeeb, and pursued Midian, and brought the heads of Oreb and Zeeb to Gideon on the other side Jordan.