1So, like, after a bit, during wheat harvest, Samson rolls up to his wife with a kid; he’s like, "I’m tryna see my wifey." But her dad was like, "Nah fam, you can’t go in."

2Her dad was all, "I thought you were totally over her; so I gave her to your homie. Isn’t her younger sister cuter? Just take her instead, fr."

3Samson was like, "Now I’m gonna be less sus than the Philistines, even if I’m mad at them."

4Then Samson went and caught 300 foxes, lit them up with firebrands, and tied them tail to tail, putting a firebrand in between two tails.

5After he set the firebrands ablaze, he let them loose into the Philistines' crops, burning up their harvests, vineyards, and olives.

6The Philistines were like, "Who did this?" They found out it was Samson, the Timnite’s son-in-law, 'cause he took his wife and gave her to his buddy. So they rolled up and burned her and her dad.

7Samson told them, "Even though you did this, I’m still gonna get my revenge on you, then I’m done."

8He wrecked them hard, went down, and chilled on top of the rock Etam.

9Then the Philistines came up, set up camp in Judah, and spread out in Lehi.

10The dudes from Judah were like, "Why you coming at us?" They replied, "We’re here to tie up Samson and do him dirty like he did us."

11So, 3,000 men from Judah went to the top of the rock Etam, and said to Samson, "You know the Philistines are in charge, right? What’s up with what you did?" He was like, "I did to them what they did to me."

12They told him, "We’re here to tie you up and hand you over to the Philistines." Samson said, "Promise me you won’t jump me yourselves."

13They were like, "Nah, we’ll just tie you up and deliver you to them, but we won’t kill you." So they bound him with two new cords and took him up from the rock.

14When he got to Lehi, the Philistines shouted at him, but the Spirit of the Lord hit him hard, and the cords on his arms were like burnt flax, and he broke free.

15He found a fresh jawbone of a donkey, grabbed it, and took out a thousand dudes with it.

16Samson was like, "With this jawbone, I’ve stacked bodies on bodies, I just took out a thousand men."

17Once he finished talking, he tossed the jawbone aside and called that spot Ramath–lehi.

18He was super thirsty and called out to the Lord, saying, "You gave me this epic win, but am I gonna die of thirst and fall into the hands of these uncircumcised peeps?"

19But God made a sweet spot in the jawbone, and water flowed out; after he drank, he felt revived, so he named it En–hakkore, and it’s still there in Lehi today.

20And he judged Israel for twenty years during the Philistine era.

1But it came to pass within a while after, in the time of wheat harvest, that Samson visited his wife with a kid; and he said, I will go in to my wife into the chamber. But her father would not suffer him to go in.

2And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray thee, instead of her.

3And Samson said concerning them, Now shall I be more blameless than the Philistines, though I do them a displeasure.

4And Samson went and caught three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned tail to tail, and put a firebrand in the midst between two tails.

5And when he had set the brands on fire, he let them go into the standing corn of the Philistines, and burnt up both the shocks, and also the standing corn, with the vineyards and olives.

6Then the Philistines said, Who hath done this? And they answered, Samson, the son in law of the Timnite, because he had taken his wife, and given her to his companion. And the Philistines came up, and burnt her and her father with fire.

7And Samson said unto them, Though ye have done this, yet will I be avenged of you, and after that I will cease.

8And he smote them hip and thigh with a great slaughter: and he went down and dwelt in the top of the rock Etam.

9Then the Philistines went up, and pitched in Judah, and spread themselves in Lehi.

10And the men of Judah said, Why are ye come up against us? And they answered, To bind Samson are we come up, to do to him as he hath done to us.

11Then three thousand men of Judah went to the top of the rock Etam, and said to Samson, Knowest thou not that the Philistines are rulers over us? what is this that thou hast done unto us? And he said unto them, As they did unto me, so have I done unto them.

12And they said unto him, We are come down to bind thee, that we may deliver thee into the hand of the Philistines. And Samson said unto them, Swear unto me, that ye will not fall upon me yourselves.

13And they spake unto him, saying, No; but we will bind thee fast, and deliver thee into their hand: but surely we will not kill thee. And they bound him with two new cords, and brought him up from the rock.

14And when he came unto Lehi, the Philistines shouted against him: and the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and the cords that were upon his arms became as flax that was burnt with fire, and his bands loosed from off his hands.

15And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith.

16And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men.

17And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking, that he cast away the jawbone out of his hand, and called that place Ramath–lehi.

18And he was sore athirst, and called on the Lord, and said, Thou hast given this great deliverance into the hand of thy servant: and now shall I die for thirst, and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised?

19But God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water thereout; and when he had drunk, his spirit came again, and he revived: wherefore he called the name thereof En–hakkore, which is in Lehi unto this day.

20And he judged Israel in the days of the Philistines twenty years.