Gen Z: Judges 12
1The dudes from Ephraim rolled up and were like, "Yo Jephthah, why’d you bounce to fight the Ammonites without us? We’re about to set your house on fire, no cap."
2Jephthah replied, "Me and my crew were in a serious beef with the Ammonites; when I hit you up, you didn’t come through for me."
3"When I saw you weren’t down, I took matters into my own hands, went against the Ammonites, and the Lord had my back: so why you coming at me today?"
4Then Jephthah gathered the Gilead squad and threw down with Ephraim: they wrecked Ephraim because they called the Gileadites fugitives among them.
5The Gileadites had the Jordan on lock before the Ephraimites: when the escaped ones tried to cross, Gilead was like, "You an Ephraimite? If they said no,
6They told him, "Say Shibboleth," but he said Sibboleth, 'cause he couldn’t say it right. So they took him out at the Jordan, and 42,000 Ephraimites fell that day.
7Jephthah was the judge of Israel for six years. Then he passed away, and they buried him in one of the Gilead cities.
8After him, Ibzan from Bethlehem took over as judge of Israel.
9He had thirty sons and thirty daughters, sent them out, and brought in thirty daughters for his sons. He judged Israel for seven years.
10Then Ibzan died and got buried in Bethlehem.
11Next up was Elon, a Zebulonite, who judged Israel for ten years.
12Elon the Zebulonite passed away and was buried in Aijalon in Zebulun territory.
13After him, Abdon, son of Hillel, a Pirathonite, judged Israel.
14He had forty sons and thirty nephews who rode on seventy donkeys, and he judged Israel for eight years.
15Abdon, son of Hillel the Pirathonite, died and was buried in Pirathon in Ephraim, near the Amalekites.