Joshua 8

Gen Z: Joshua 8

1And the Lord said to Joshua, "No cap, don’t be scared or stressed: grab all the squad and bounce to Ai: I got the king of Ai and his crew, city, and land all set for you."

2"You’re gonna handle Ai and its king just like you did with Jericho: but keep the loot and the cattle for yourselves: set a trap behind the city."

3So Joshua got up, and all the warriors, ready to roll against Ai: he picked thirty thousand goated men and sent them out at night.

4He told them, "Yo, you’re gonna chill and wait by the city, not too far: stay ready for the pop off."

5"Me and my crew will head to the city: when they come at us like last time, we’ll dip out."

6"(They’ll chase us) until we lure them outta the city; they’ll think we’re running like before, so we’ll bounce."

7"Then you’ll jump up from the ambush and take the city: the Lord your God’s got this in the bag for you."

8"And when you’ve taken the city, light it up: do it just like the Lord said. I’ve got you on this."

9Joshua sent them out: they went to set the ambush, chilling between Beth-el and Ai, on the west side of Ai: but Joshua crashed with the people that night.

10Early in the morning, Joshua woke up, counted the people, and headed out with the elders of Israel to Ai.

11Everyone, even the warriors rollin' with him, pulled up and got close to the city, campin' on the north side of Ai. Lowkey, there was a valley chillin' between them and Ai.

12He grabbed like five thousand dudes and set them up to ambush between Beth-el and Ai, on the west side of the city.

13After setting up the squad, even the whole crew on the north side of the city, and their sneaky peeps on the west, Joshua dipped into the valley that night.

14When the king of Ai peeped this, he was like, "Time to pop off!" and got his crew up early to face Israel, but he had no clue there were ambushers waiting behind the city.

15Joshua and all of Israel acted like they were totally losing and bounced into the wilderness.

16The whole squad in Ai got called to chase after them: they went after Joshua and left the city wide open.

17No one was left in Ai or Beth-el that didn’t chase after Israel: they left the city chillin' and went after Israel.

18The Lord told Joshua, "Stretch out your spear toward Ai; I got you, it's yours." So Joshua stretched out his spear toward the city.

19The ambush popped off quick as soon as he stretched out his hand: they rushed into the city, took it, and set that place on fire.

20When the dudes of Ai looked back, they saw smoke rising to the sky, and they couldn’t escape either way: the peeps who ran to the wilderness turned back on the chasers.

21So when Joshua and the whole squad saw the ambush took the city, and the smoke was rising, they turned back and took out the guys from Ai.

22The others came outta the city to throw down too; they were surrounded by Israel, some on this side, some on that side, and they clapped back hard, leaving no one to escape.

23They took the king of Ai alive and brought him to Joshua, no cap.

24After Israel finished taking out all the people of Ai in the field, where they chased them down, and everyone fell by the sword, the Israelites went back to Ai and finished the job.

25That day, all the peeps who fell, men and women, were twelve thousand, all the guys from Ai.

26Joshua didn’t pull back his hand with the spear until he wiped out all the people of Ai, straight up savage.

27They only took the livestock and stuff from the city for themselves, just like God told Joshua to do, periodt.

28Joshua burned Ai and turned it into a forever desolation, it’s still a wreck today.

29The king of Ai got hung on a tree till sunset; when the sun went down, Joshua said to take him down and throw his body at the city gate, then pile up a big ol' heap of stones there, still there today.

30Then Joshua built an altar for the Lord God of Israel on Mount Ebal, vibes.

31Moses, the GOAT of the Lord, told the squad to build an altar with whole stones, no iron allowed. They brought those burnt offerings to God, and the peace offerings were straight bussin’.

32He dropped a copy of the law on those stones, all while the kids of Israel were vibing right there.

33All of Israel, the elders, and the judges gathered on both sides of the ark, with the Levites holding it down, ready to bless the people, just like Moses said.

34Then he read out all the law's words, the blessings and the curses, keeping it 100 with everything in the law book.

35Joshua didn’t skip a beat; he read every word Moses dropped to the whole crew, including the women, kids, and anyone else hanging around.

KJV: Joshua 8

1And the Lord said unto Joshua, Fear not, neither be thou dismayed: take all the people of war with thee, and arise, go up to Ai: see, I have given into thy hand the king of Ai, and his people, and his city, and his land:

2And thou shalt do to Ai and her king as thou didst unto Jericho and her king: only the spoil thereof, and the cattle thereof, shall ye take for a prey unto yourselves: lay thee an ambush for the city behind it.

3So Joshua arose, and all the people of war, to go up against Ai: and Joshua chose out thirty thousand mighty men of valour, and sent them away by night.

4And he commanded them, saying, Behold, ye shall lie in wait against the city, even behind the city: go not very far from the city, but be ye all ready:

5And I, and all the people that are with me, will approach unto the city: and it shall come to pass, when they come out against us, as at the first, that we will flee before them,

6(For they will come out after us) till we have drawn them from the city; for they will say, They flee before us, as at the first: therefore we will flee before them.

7Then ye shall rise up from the ambush, and seize upon the city: for the Lord your God will deliver it into your hand.

8And it shall be, when ye have taken the city, that ye shall set the city on fire: according to the commandment of the Lord shall ye do. See, I have commanded you.

9Joshua therefore sent them forth: and they went to lie in ambush, and abode between Beth–el and Ai, on the west side of Ai: but Joshua lodged that night among the people.

10And Joshua rose up early in the morning, and numbered the people, and went up, he and the elders of Israel, before the people to Ai.

11And all the people, even the people of war that were with him, went up, and drew nigh, and came before the city, and pitched on the north side of Ai: now there was a valley between them and Ai.

12And he took about five thousand men, and set them to lie in ambush between Beth–el and Ai, on the west side of the city.

13And when they had set the people, even all the host that was on the north of the city, and their liers in wait on the west of the city, Joshua went that night into the midst of the valley.

14And it came to pass, when the king of Ai saw it, that they hasted and rose up early, and the men of the city went out against Israel to battle, he and all his people, at a time appointed, before the plain; but he wist not that there were liers in ambush against him behind the city.

15And Joshua and all Israel made as if they were beaten before them, and fled by the way of the wilderness.

16And all the people that were in Ai were called together to pursue after them: and they pursued after Joshua, and were drawn away from the city.

17And there was not a man left in Ai or Beth–el, that went not out after Israel: and they left the city open, and pursued after Israel.

18And the Lord said unto Joshua, Stretch out the spear that is in thy hand toward Ai; for I will give it into thine hand. And Joshua stretched out the spear that he had in his hand toward the city.

19And the ambush arose quickly out of their place, and they ran as soon as he had stretched out his hand: and they entered into the city, and took it, and hasted and set the city on fire.

20And when the men of Ai looked behind them, they saw, and, behold, the smoke of the city ascended up to heaven, and they had no power to flee this way or that way: and the people that fled to the wilderness turned back upon the pursuers.

21And when Joshua and all Israel saw that the ambush had taken the city, and that the smoke of the city ascended, then they turned again, and slew the men of Ai.

22And the other issued out of the city against them; so they were in the midst of Israel, some on this side, and some on that side: and they smote them, so that they let none of them remain or escape.

23And the king of Ai they took alive, and brought him to Joshua.

24And it came to pass, when Israel had made an end of slaying all the inhabitants of Ai in the field, in the wilderness wherein they chased them, and when they were all fallen on the edge of the sword, until they were consumed, that all the Israelites returned unto Ai, and smote it with the edge of the sword.

25And so it was, that all that fell that day, both of men and women, were twelve thousand, even all the men of Ai.

26For Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai.

27Only the cattle and the spoil of that city Israel took for a prey unto themselves, according unto the word of the Lord which he commanded Joshua.

28And Joshua burnt Ai, and made it an heap for ever, even a desolation unto this day.

29And the king of Ai he hanged on a tree until eventide: and as soon as the sun was down, Joshua commanded that they should take his carcase down from the tree, and cast it at the entering of the gate of the city, and raise thereon a great heap of stones, that remaineth unto this day.

30Then Joshua built an altar unto the Lord God of Israel in mount Ebal,

31As Moses the servant of the Lord commanded the children of Israel, as it is written in the book of the law of Moses, an altar of whole stones, over which no man hath lift up any iron: and they offered thereon burnt offerings unto the Lord, and sacrificed peace offerings.

32And he wrote there upon the stones a copy of the law of Moses, which he wrote in the presence of the children of Israel.

33And all Israel, and their elders, and officers, and their judges, stood on this side the ark and on that side before the priests the Levites, which bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord, as well the stranger, as he that was born among them; half of them over against mount Gerizim, and half of them over against mount Ebal; as Moses the servant of the Lord had commanded before, that they should bless the people of Israel.

34And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and cursings, according to all that is written in the book of the law.

35There was not a word of all that Moses commanded, which Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel, with the women, and the little ones, and the strangers that were conversant among them.

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