Gen Z: Joshua 22
1Joshua hit up the Reubenites, the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh, no cap.
2He was like, “Y’all kept it real with everything Moses told you, and you vibed with my commands too.”
3You didn’t ditch your homies this whole time, but stayed true to the Lord’s squad goals.
4Now the Lord’s given your crew some chill time, just like he said: so bounce back to your tents and the land Moses hooked you up with across the Jordan.
5But for real, keep it 100 with the commandments and the law Moses laid down: love the Lord, walk his way, keep his rules, stick with him, and serve him with all your heart and soul.
6So Joshua blessed them and sent them off: they dipped back to their tents.
7Moses gave one half of Manasseh the Bashan vibes, but Joshua blessed the other half on this side of the Jordan. When he sent them off, he blessed them too.
8He told them, “Return with mad riches to your tents, and flex with lots of cattle, silver, gold, brass, iron, and fresh fits: share the spoils with your crew.”
9The Reubenites, Gadites, and half tribe of Manasseh bounced back from Shiloh in Canaan to their Gilead land, just like the Lord said through Moses.
10When they hit the Jordan borders in Canaan, they built a dope altar by the river, a massive one to flex on.
11Yo, the squad of Israel heard that the Reuben and Gad crew, plus half of Manasseh, built an altar by Canaan, right by the Jordan. Major vibes.
12When Israel heard this, the whole crew gathered at Shiloh, ready to pop off and go to war.
13Israel sent Phinehas, Eleazar's son, to the Reuben, Gad, and half Manasseh crew in Gilead.
14He brought ten princes, one from each fam in Israel, all heads of their squads. Goated team.
15They rolled up to Reuben, Gad, and half Manasseh in Gilead and said,
16"The whole squad of the Lord wants to know, what’s this trespass you’ve done against the God of Israel? Why you building an altar and dipping from the Lord today?"
17Is the mess from Peor not enough for us? We’re still not clean from that vibe, even with the plague in the Lord's squad.
18But y’all seriously turning away from the Lord today? If you rebel now, tomorrow He’s gonna be mad at the whole Israel crew.
19If your land is sus, just come over to the Lord's land where His tabernacle is, and chill with us. But don’t rebel against the Lord or us by building an altar next to our God’s altar.
20Remember Achan, Zerah's son? He messed up with the cursed stuff, and the whole Israel squad got hit with wrath. He didn’t just go down alone, no cap.
21So the Reuben fam, Gad crew, and half of Manasseh were like, "Yo, leaders of Israel, listen up!"
22The Lord, the ultimate God, knows what's up, and Israel will know too; if we're being sus or going against the Lord, then just save us today, no cap.
23We built this altar to keep it real with the Lord, not to offer burnt or meat offerings, but if we did, let the Lord handle it.
24If we did this outta fear, saying, "Later on, your kids might ask our kids, 'What’s your vibe with the Lord God of Israel?'"
25The Lord made the Jordan a boundary between us and you, Reuben and Gad fam; you got no part with the Lord: your kids might make our kids stop vibing with the Lord.
26So we were like, "Let’s build an altar, but not for burnt offerings or sacrifices, fr."
27It's a witness between us and you, and our future generations, that we can serve the Lord with our offerings so your kids won't say to ours, "You don’t vibe with the Lord."
28So when your kids ask us or our future kids, we can be like, "Check out this altar our fam made, not for burnt offerings or sacrifices; it's a witness between us."
29No way we gonna rebel against the Lord today and build an altar for burnt offerings or sacrifices, except for the Lord’s altar in front of His tabernacle.
30When Phinehas the priest and the leaders heard what the Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh fam said, they were totally vibing with it.
31Phinehas, the priest's kid, told the Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh fam, "Yo, we see the Lord's vibes with us 'cause you didn’t mess up against Him. You just saved the whole crew of Israel from the Lord’s hand. No cap."
32Phinehas and the squad dipped from Reuben and Gad, back from Gilead to Canaan, to tell the Israel fam what went down.
33The Israel crew was totally vibing with it, blessed God, and wasn’t about to roll up on Reuben and Gad to start beef over their land.
34Reuben and Gad named the altar Ed, like, "This is our witness that the Lord is the GOAT."