Gen Z: Jeremiah 23
1Fr, woe to the pastors who are out here wrecking and scattering my peeps! Says the Lord, that's sus.
2So the Lord God of Israel is calling out the pastors who are feeding my squad; you scattered my crew and ghosted them, and I’m gonna hit you with the consequences, no cap.
3I’m gonna scoop up the remnant of my flock from all the places I sent them off to, and I’ll bring them back to their spots; they gonna be thriving and growing, periodt.
4I’ll set up some real shepherds to take care of them, and they won’t have to stress anymore, no more worries, they’ll be good, says the Lord.
5Just wait, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I’ll raise up a righteous dude from David’s line, and a King will pop off and bring justice to the land.
6In his time, Judah will be saved, and Israel will chill safely; this is his name: THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS, straight up.
7So check it, the days are coming, says the Lord, when people won’t say, “The Lord lives, who brought up the Israelites from Egypt” anymore;
8But instead, they’ll say, “The Lord lives, who brought up and led the house of Israel from the north and all the places I sent them,” and they’ll vibe in their own land.
9My heart is shattered because of the prophets; my bones are shaking; I’m like a tipsy dude, overwhelmed by the Lord and his holy words, fr.
10The land is packed with cheaters; it’s mourning because of all the swearing; the chill spots in the wild are dried up, and everything’s gone off track, no cap.
11Both the prophet and priest are being sus; I found their wickedness in my spot, says the Lord.
12So their path is gonna be slippery in the dark: they’ll be pushed and fall hard, 'cause I'm bringing the drama on them, even the year of their reckoning, says the Lord.
13I peeped some major cringe in the prophets of Samaria; they were vibing with Baal, leading my peeps Israel astray.
14I also saw some wild stuff in the prophets of Jerusalem: they’re out here cheating and spreading lies, boosting the rizz of evildoers, so no one’s turning from their wicked ways; they’re all like Sodom, and the people like Gomorrah.
15So the Lord of hosts is like, “Yo, I’m gonna hit them with some wormwood and make them sip that bitter water, 'cause the prophets of Jerusalem spread the sus vibes all over the land.”
16The Lord of hosts says, “Don’t listen to those prophets who are just hyping you up: they’re just chatting nonsense from their own hearts, not from me.”
17They keep telling those who are shady, “The Lord said you’re all good;” and to everyone chasing their own vibe, “No bad vibes are coming your way.”
18For who’s actually been in the Lord’s council and caught his word? Who’s really marked his word and heard it?
19Check it, a whirlwind from the Lord is blowing in anger, a serious storm: it’s gonna hit hard on the heads of the wicked.
20The Lord’s anger won’t chill until he’s done what he planned, and in the last days, you’ll see it all clear, periodt.
21I didn’t send these prophets, but they still popped off: I didn’t say a word, yet they’re out here prophesying.
22If they had vibed with my counsel and got my people to hear my words, they would’ve turned from their sus ways and evil actions.
23Am I a God who’s close, says the Lord, and not a God who’s far away?
24Can anyone hide in secret spots that I can’t see? says the Lord. Don’t I fill heaven and earth? says the Lord.
25I heard what the prophets are saying, prophesying lies in my name, claiming, "I had a dream, I had a dream."
26How long will this be in the hearts of those prophets who are spitting lies? They’re just vibing off the deceit of their own hearts.
27They think they can make my people forget my name with their dreams that they tell everyone, just like their ancestors forgot my name for Baal.
28The prophet who has a dream, let him share it; and the one who has my word, let him speak it straight up. What’s the chaff to the wheat? says the Lord.
29Isn’t my word like fire? says the Lord; and like a hammer that breaks rocks into pieces?
30So, check it, I’m against the prophets, says the Lord, who steal my words from their neighbors.
31Yo, I’m totally against those prophets, says the Lord, who just run their mouths and be like, "He said."
32For real, I’m coming for those who drop fake dreams, says the Lord, and mislead my peeps with their lies and vibes; I didn’t send them or tell them to do this: they ain’t helping the squad at all, says the Lord.
33When the people, or a prophet, or a priest hit you up asking, "What’s the Lord’s vibe?" just say, "What vibe? I’m out, says the Lord."
34And if the prophet, priest, or people are like, "The Lord’s vibe," I’m gonna punish that dude and his whole crew.
35So everyone should ask their neighbor and bro, "What’s the Lord saying? What’s the word from the Lord?"
36And stop mentioning the Lord’s vibe anymore: every dude’s word is his own weight; you’ve twisted the living God’s words, the Lord of hosts, our God.
37So tell the prophet, "What’s the Lord said to you? What’s the word from the Lord?"
38But since you keep saying, "The Lord’s vibe," the Lord says: Because you keep saying this, I told you not to say, "The Lord’s vibe;"
39So check it, I’m gonna totally forget you, and I’ll bounce from you and the city I gave you and your fam, and kick you outta my presence.
40I’m about to bring some serious disgrace on you, and a shame that won’t ever be forgotten.