1So Pashur, the priest and big boss at the Lord's crib, heard Jeremiah was dropping some serious prophecies.

2Then Pashur straight up hit Jeremiah and put him in stocks at the high gate of Benjamin, near the Lord's house.

3The next day, Pashur pulled Jeremiah out of the stocks, and Jeremiah was like, "God ain't calling you Pashur anymore, it’s Magor-missabib now."

4For real, the Lord's like, "I’m about to make you a whole terror to yourself and your homies; your enemies will take you out, and I’m handing Judah over to Babylon."

5Plus, I’m giving all the city's strength and treasures to your enemies, and they’re gonna roll out with it all to Babylon.

6And you, Pashur, and everyone in your house? Yeah, you’re going into captivity; you’ll die in Babylon, and so will your friends, 'cause you’ve been spreading lies.

7Yo, Lord, you totally played me, and I fell for it; you’re stronger than me, and now I’m just a meme every day, everyone’s clowning on me.

8Ever since I started speaking, I’ve been shouting about violence and loot; the Lord's word just turned into my daily roast.

9Then I was like, "I’m done talking about Him," but His word was like a fire in my bones, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore, no cap.

10I heard all the haters talking, fear everywhere. They said, "Let’s spill the tea," and my fam was waiting for me to slip up, thinking they could take me down.

11But the Lord’s got my back like a mighty warrior, so my haters gonna trip and won’t win; they’ll be super embarrassed and never forget this L.

12But, Lord of hosts, you test the righteous and see hearts, show me your vengeance on them, 'cause I’m bringing my case to you.

13Sing to the Lord, hype Him up, 'cause He saved the soul of the broke from the hands of the evil.

14Man, curse the day I was born; don’t let my birthday be blessed.

15Curse the dude who told my dad a boy was born; that really made him happy.

16Let that dude be like those cities the Lord wrecked, and let him hear the morning cries and noon shouts.

17Why wasn’t I killed in the womb? Or why couldn’t my mom just be my grave, always carrying me?

18Why did I even come out to see struggle and pain, just to have my days filled with shame?

1Now Pashur the son of Immer the priest, who was also chief governor in the house of the Lord, heard that Jeremiah prophesied these things.

2Then Pashur smote Jeremiah the prophet, and put him in the stocks that were in the high gate of Benjamin, which was by the house of the Lord.

3And it came to pass on the morrow, that Pashur brought forth Jeremiah out of the stocks. Then said Jeremiah unto him, The Lord hath not called thy name Pashur, but Magor–missabib.

4For thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will make thee a terror to thyself, and to all thy friends: and they shall fall by the sword of their enemies, and thine eyes shall behold it: and I will give all Judah into the hand of the king of Babylon, and he shall carry them captive into Babylon, and shall slay them with the sword.

5Moreover I will deliver all the strength of this city, and all the labours thereof, and all the precious things thereof, and all the treasures of the kings of Judah will I give into the hand of their enemies, which shall spoil them, and take them, and carry them to Babylon.

6And thou, Pashur, and all that dwell in thine house shall go into captivity: and thou shalt come to Babylon, and there thou shalt die, and shalt be buried there, thou, and all thy friends, to whom thou hast prophesied lies.

7O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.

8For since I spake, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil; because the word of the Lord was made a reproach unto me, and a derision, daily.

9Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay.

10For I heard the defaming of many, fear on every side. Report, say they, and we will report it. All my familiars watched for my halting, saying, Peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall take our revenge on him.

11But the Lord is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.

12But, O Lord of hosts, that triest the righteous, and seest the reins and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them: for unto thee have I opened my cause.

13Sing unto the Lord, praise ye the Lord: for he hath delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of evildoers.

14Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed.

15Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee; making him very glad.

16And let that man be as the cities which the Lord overthrew, and repented not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide;

17Because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me.

18Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?