1So, in the fourteenth year of King Hezekiah, Sennacherib, the Assyrian king, rolled up on all the fortified cities of Judah and snatched them.

2The Assyrian king sent Rabshakeh from Lachish to Jerusalem to King Hezekiah with a massive squad. He was chillin' by the upper pool on the fuller’s field highway.

3Then Eliakim, Hilkiah’s son, who was in charge of the crib, plus Shebna the scribe and Joah, Asaph’s son, the recorder, showed up.

4Rabshakeh was like, "Yo, tell Hezekiah this: What’s with all this confidence you got?"

5I’m saying, you talkin' big (but it's all cap) like you got the rizz for war: who you tryna flex on, rebelling against me?

6For real, you trust in this broken reed, Egypt; lean on it, and it’ll stab you—just like Pharaoh’s a joke to those who trust in him.

7But if you say you trust in the Lord our God, isn’t He the one Hezekiah just took down all the high places and altars for, telling Judah and Jerusalem to worship here?

8So, like, give some pledges to my boss, the king of Assyria, and I’ll hook you up with two thousand horses if you can get riders on them.

9How you gonna turn away even one of my master’s low-key servants, putting your trust in Egypt for chariots and horsemen?

10Am I rolling up here without the Lord to wreck this land? The Lord told me to go against this land and destroy it.

11Then Eliakim, Shebna, and Joah said to Rabshakeh, "Speak to us in the Syrian language; we get it. Don’t be talking to us in Hebrew where everyone can hear."

12But Rabshakeh was like, "Did my master send me to you and your boss just to say this? Nah, I’m here for those on the wall, so they can eat their own dung and drink their own piss with you."

13Then Rabshakeh stood up and yelled in Hebrew, saying, "Listen up to the words of the great king, the king of Assyria."

14The king says, "Don’t let Hezekiah fool you; he can't save you."

15And don’t let Hezekiah make you think the Lord will save us, saying, "This city won’t fall to the Assyrian king."

16Don’t listen to Hezekiah: the king of Assyria says, "Make a deal with me and come out; eat from your own vines and drink from your own cisterns."

17Until I come and take you to a land just like yours, a land of corn and wine, bread and vineyards.

18Watch out for Hezekiah trying to convince you that the Lord will save us. Have any gods from other nations saved their lands from the Assyrian king?

19Where are the gods of Hamath and Arphad? Where are the gods of Sepharvaim? Did they save Samaria from my hand?

20Who among all the gods of these lands has saved their land from my hand, that the Lord should save Jerusalem from my hand?

21But they just stayed quiet and didn’t say a word, ‘cause the king said, "Don’t answer him."

22Then Eliakim, son of Hilkiah, who was in charge of the household, plus Shebna the scribe and Joah, son of Asaph, the recorder, came to Hezekiah with their clothes torn, telling him what Rabshakeh said.

1Now it came to pass in the fourteenth year of king Hezekiah, that Sennacherib king of Assyria came up against all the defenced cities of Judah, and took them.

2And the king of Assyria sent Rabshakeh from Lachish to Jerusalem unto king Hezekiah with a great army. And he stood by the conduit of the upper pool in the highway of the fuller’s field.

3Then came forth unto him Eliakim, Hilkiah’s son, which was over the house, and Shebna the scribe, and Joah, Asaph’s son, the recorder.

4And Rabshakeh said unto them, Say ye now to Hezekiah, Thus saith the great king, the king of Assyria, What confidence is this wherein thou trustest?

5I say, sayest thou, (but they are but vain words) I have counsel and strength for war: now on whom dost thou trust, that thou rebellest against me?

6Lo, thou trustest in the staff of this broken reed, on Egypt; whereon if a man lean, it will go into his hand, and pierce it: so is Pharaoh king of Egypt to all that trust in him.

7But if thou say to me, We trust in the Lord our God: is it not he, whose high places and whose altars Hezekiah hath taken away, and said to Judah and to Jerusalem, Ye shall worship before this altar?

8Now therefore give pledges, I pray thee, to my master the king of Assyria, and I will give thee two thousand horses, if thou be able on thy part to set riders upon them.

9How then wilt thou turn away the face of one captain of the least of my master’s servants, and put thy trust on Egypt for chariots and for horsemen?

10And am I now come up without the Lord against this land to destroy it? the Lord said unto me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.

11Then said Eliakim and Shebna and Joah unto Rabshakeh, Speak, I pray thee, unto thy servants in the Syrian language; for we understand it: and speak not to us in the Jews’ language, in the ears of the people that are on the wall.

12But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

13Then Rabshakeh stood, and cried with a loud voice in the Jews’ language, and said, Hear ye the words of the great king, the king of Assyria.

14Thus saith the king, Let not Hezekiah deceive you: for he shall not be able to deliver you.

15Neither let Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord, saying, The Lord will surely deliver us: this city shall not be delivered into the hand of the king of Assyria.

16Hearken not to Hezekiah: for thus saith the king of Assyria, Make an agreement with me by a present, and come out to me: and eat ye every one of his vine, and every one of his fig tree, and drink ye every one the waters of his own cistern;

17Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of corn and wine, a land of bread and vineyards.

18Beware lest Hezekiah persuade you, saying, The Lord will deliver us. Hath any of the gods of the nations delivered his land out of the hand of the king of Assyria?

19Where are the gods of Hamath and Arphad? where are the gods of Sepharvaim? and have they delivered Samaria out of my hand?

20Who are they among all the gods of these lands, that have delivered their land out of my hand, that the Lord should deliver Jerusalem out of my hand?

21But they held their peace, and answered him not a word: for the king’s commandment was, saying, Answer him not.

22Then came Eliakim, the son of Hilkiah, that was over the household, and Shebna the scribe, and Joah, the son of Asaph, the recorder, to Hezekiah with their clothes rent, and told him the words of Rabshakeh.