Gen Z: Genesis 50
1Joseph hits up his dad’s face, starts crying, and gives him a kiss.
2Joseph told his crew of doctors to prep his dad for the afterlife, and they did their thing.
3They mourned for forty days ‘cause that’s how long it takes for the embalming vibes, and the Egyptians were sad for seventy days, no cap.
4After mourning, Joseph told Pharaoh’s squad, “If I got good vibes from you, can you tell Pharaoh this?”
5“Dad made me promise, saying, ‘I’m gonna die: bury me where I dug my grave in Canaan.’ So, can I bounce and bury my dad, then I’ll be back?”
6Pharaoh was like, “Bet, go bury your dad like you promised.”
7Joseph went to bury his dad, and all Pharaoh's crew, the fam, and the land’s elders rolled with him.
8Joseph’s whole fam came too, but they left the little ones, flocks, and herds in Goshen.
9They had chariots and riders with them: it was a massive squad.
10They hit the threshing floor of Atad, beyond the Jordan, and mourned hard for seven days.
11When the Canaanites saw the mourning at Atad, they were like, "This is some serious sadness for the Egyptians," so they named it Abel-mizraim, which is just past Jordan.
12His sons did exactly what he told them to do, no cap.
13They took him to Canaan and buried him in the cave at Machpelah, the spot Abraham bought for a chill burial place from Ephron the Hittite, before Mamre.
14Joseph went back to Egypt with his bros and everyone who rolled with him after burying his dad.
15When Joseph's bros saw their dad was gone, they were like, "Bet, Joseph's gonna be salty and get back at us for all that mess we pulled."
16So they slid a message to Joseph, saying, "Before he passed, Dad said,"
17"Tell Joseph, please forgive us for what we did; we messed up, and now we're begging you to forgive us, your dad's servants." Joseph was shook and cried when they said that.
18His bros came and fell down, saying, "We’re totally your servants."
19Joseph was like, "Chill, fam; am I in God's spot?"
20But for real, you thought you were doing me dirty, but God flipped it for good, making it all work out to save a lot of people, fr.
21So don’t trip, I got you and your fam. He gave them the good vibes and spoke sweetly.
22Joseph was vibin’ in Egypt with his whole fam, living for 110 years.
23Joseph peeped Ephraim's kids, like, three generations deep, and Machir's kids were chillin’ on his lap.
24Joseph told his bros, “I’m out, but God’s gonna come through for you and take you to the land He promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
25Joseph made the fam promise, “God’s gonna visit you, and you gotta take my bones with you.”
26Joseph passed away at 110, they gave him the whole embalming treatment, and he was laid to rest in Egypt.