Gen Z: Genesis 15
1After all that, God hit up Abram in a vision, saying, "Chill, Abram: I got your back, and I’m your major reward.
2Abram was like, "Yo, God, what’s the deal? I’m childless, and this Eliezer dude is running my house."
3Abram was like, "For real, you haven’t given me any kids, and the one born in my crib is my heir."
4Then God was like, "Nah, that’s not your heir; the one from your own bloodline is gonna be your heir."
5God took him outside and said, "Look at the sky and try to count those stars; that’s how many descendants you’re gonna have."
6Abram was vibing with God; he believed, and God was like, "That’s some righteous faith."
7God said, "I’m the one who pulled you outta Ur to give you this land as your own."
8Abram was like, "Bet, God, how do I know I’m gonna get it?"
9God told him, "Grab a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old she-goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtle dove, and a young pigeon."
10So he got all those animals, split them in half, laid them out, but didn’t mess with the birds.
11When the birds swooped in on the bodies, Abram was like, "Nah fam," and chased them off.
12As the sun dipped down, Abram got hit with a deep sleep, and it was like, major dark vibes.
13God told Abram, "Fr, your fam's gonna be strangers in a land that's not theirs, and they’ll be grinding there for 400 years."
14"But don’t stress, that nation they serve? I'm gonna judge them, and after that, they'll bounce out with mad loot."
15"You’ll chill with your fam in peace and live your best life till you're old, no cap."
16"But in four generations, they'll roll back here; the Amorites' bad vibes ain't full yet."
17When the sun set and it got dark, a smoking furnace and a lit lamp rolled between the pieces.
18That same day, the Lord made a deal with Abram, saying, "I’m giving this land to your fam, from the Egypt river to the Euphrates, periodt."
19The Kenites, the Kenizzites, and the Kadmonites,
20And the Hittites, the Perizzites, and the Rephaims,
21The Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites all in the mix. Major vibes.