Gen Z: Exodus 5
1So, Moses and Aaron rolled up to Pharaoh and were like, "Yo, the Lord God of Israel says, let my peeps go so they can throw a feast for me in the wild."
2Pharaoh was like, "Who’s this Lord dude? Why should I listen to him and let Israel bounce? I don’t even know him, so nah."
3They said, "The God of the Hebrews just linked up with us. Let us dip for three days into the desert to vibe and sacrifice to our God; otherwise, we might catch some serious bad vibes."
4Then the king of Egypt was like, "Why are you, Moses and Aaron, letting the people chill instead of working? Get back to your grind."
5Pharaoh was like, "Look, the people are already many, and you want them to take a break from their hustle?"
6Pharaoh told the taskmasters and their squad, "Listen up."
7"No more giving the people straw to make bricks like before; let them go find their own straw."
8"And the number of bricks they made before, you better keep that on them; don’t lessen it at all because they’re just being lazy, saying they wanna go and sacrifice to their God."
9"Put more work on them so they can grind harder; ignore their whiny words."
10The taskmasters and officers went out and told the people, "Pharaoh said, I ain’t giving you straw."
11"Go find straw wherever you can, but you better not slack on your work."
12So the people spread out all over Egypt to gather stubble instead of straw.
13The taskmasters were rushing them, saying, "Get your work done, your daily grind, just like when there was straw."
14The officers of the Israelites, who Pharaoh’s crew put in charge, got beat up and were asked, "Why haven’t you finished your brick tasks like before?"
15Then the Israelite officers went to Pharaoh and were like, "Why you treating us like this?"
16"There’s no straw for us, and they want us to make bricks; look, we’re getting beat, but it’s your people’s fault."
17But Pharaoh was like, "Y’all are just lazy; that’s why you say you wanna go and sacrifice to the Lord."
18"So go now and work; no straw will be given to you, but you better still deliver the same number of bricks."
19The officers of the Israelites saw they were in a rough spot after hearing they couldn’t lessen their brick tasks.
20They ran into Moses and Aaron, who were chilling on the way out from Pharaoh.
21They told them, "The Lord better check you, ‘cause you’ve made us look bad in front of Pharaoh and his crew, like they wanna take us out."
22Moses went back to the Lord and was like, "Why you gotta treat this people so badly? Why’d you send me?"
23"Ever since I rolled up to Pharaoh in your name, he’s been making things worse for these people; you haven’t even saved them at all."