Deuteronomy 18

Gen Z: Deuteronomy 18

1The Levite squad, like, gets no land or cash from Israel; they just vibe off the Lord's fire offerings, and that's their deal.

2So, they ain't getting any inheritance from their fam; the Lord is their whole vibe, just like He said.

3The priests get their due from the people who bring sacrifices, whether it’s a cow or a sheep; they get the shoulder, the cheeks, and the stomach, no cap.

4You gotta give him the first of your grain, wine, oil, and the first fleece from your sheep, periodt.

5The Lord your God picked him from all your tribes to be the one to rep Him, him and his fam forever, that’s goated.

6If a Levite rolls up from any of your towns in Israel where he’s been chilling, and he’s all about that vibe to go to the place the Lord picks;

7He will serve in the name of the Lord his God, just like all the other Levites who are there serving vibes before the Lord.

8They’ll all eat the same stuff, plus whatever they make from selling their family land, that’s lit.

9When you step into the land the Lord your God is giving you, don’t catch those bad vibes from the nations around you.

10Don’t let anyone among you make their kid pass through fire, or dabble in divination, or check the stars, or be a witch, that’s sus.

11Or a charmer, or someone who talks to spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer, fr.

12All these things are straight-up abominations to the Lord; because of these vibes, He’s driving them out before you.

13You gotta be perfect with the Lord your God, no cap.

14These nations you’re taking over listened to star-gazers and diviners, but the Lord your God ain’t letting you roll like that.

15The Lord your God is gonna raise up a Prophet from your own crew, just like me; you gotta listen to him.

16Just like you asked the Lord your God at Horeb during the assembly, saying, "I don’t wanna hear His voice or see this fire again, I might die."

17And the Lord was like, "They spoke well."

18I’ll raise them up a Prophet from their crew, like you, and put my words in his mouth; he’ll say everything I command him.

19And if anyone doesn’t listen to my words he’s gonna say in my name, I’ll hold them accountable, no cap.

20But the prophet who thinks he can say something in my name that I didn’t tell him to say, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet’s gonna die.

21And if you’re like, "How will we know if the Lord didn’t say that?"

22When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord and it doesn’t happen, that’s a sign the Lord didn’t say it; he just took a shot, so don’t be scared of him.

KJV: Deuteronomy 18

1The priests the Levites, and all the tribe of Levi, shall have no part nor inheritance with Israel: they shall eat the offerings of the Lord made by fire, and his inheritance.

2Therefore shall they have no inheritance among their brethren: the Lord is their inheritance, as he hath said unto them.

3And this shall be the priest’s due from the people, from them that offer a sacrifice, whether it be ox or sheep; and they shall give unto the priest the shoulder, and the two cheeks, and the maw.

4The firstfruit also of thy corn, of thy wine, and of thine oil, and the first of the fleece of thy sheep, shalt thou give him.

5For the Lord thy God hath chosen him out of all thy tribes, to stand to minister in the name of the Lord, him and his sons for ever.

6And if a Levite come from any of thy gates out of all Israel, where he sojourned, and come with all the desire of his mind unto the place which the Lord shall choose;

7Then he shall minister in the name of the Lord his God, as all his brethren the Levites do, which stand there before the Lord.

8They shall have like portions to eat, beside that which cometh of the sale of his patrimony.

9When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.

10There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,

11Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.

12For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord: and because of these abominations the Lord thy God doth drive them out from before thee.

13Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God.

14For these nations, which thou shalt possess, hearkened unto observers of times, and unto diviners: but as for thee, the Lord thy God hath not suffered thee so to do.

15The Lord thy God will raise up unto thee a Prophet from the midst of thee, of thy brethren, like unto me; unto him ye shall hearken;

16According to all that thou desiredst of the Lord thy God in Horeb in the day of the assembly, saying, Let me not hear again the voice of the Lord my God, neither let me see this great fire any more, that I die not.

17And the Lord said unto me, They have well spoken that which they have spoken.

18I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in his mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him.

19And it shall come to pass, that whosoever will not hearken unto my words which he shall speak in my name, I will require it of him.

20But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

21And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the Lord hath not spoken?

22When a prophet speaketh in the name of the Lord, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the Lord hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

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