Gen Z: Daniel 1
1In the third year of Jehoiakim's reign, Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, rolled up on Jerusalem and laid siege. Savage move.
2The Lord handed Jehoiakim over to him, plus some of God's stuff, and Nebuchadnezzar took it all to Shinar for his own god's crib. Bussin' vibes.
3The king told Ashpenaz, his main dude in charge of the eunuchs, to scoop some of the Israelite kids and royal fam.
4These kids had no flaws, were super cute, and had mad skills in wisdom and knowledge. They were ready to pop off in the king's palace and learn the Chaldean ways.
5The king set them up with a daily feast of his food and wine for three years, so they could flex before him.
6Among them were Judah's kids: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah.
7The eunuch prince renamed them: Daniel became Belteshazzar; Hananiah was now Shadrach; Mishael turned into Meshach; and Azariah was called Abed-nego.
8But Daniel was like, "No cap, I’m not gonna defile myself with the king's food or wine," so he hit up the eunuch prince to keep it chill.
9God gave Daniel major vibes with the eunuch prince, making him low-key fond of him.
10The eunuch prince was shook, saying, "I fear my lord the king who picked your food. What if you look worse than the other kids? You’d get me in trouble for real."
11Daniel then spoke to Melzar, the eunuch prince's guy in charge of him and the others.
12He said, "Yo, let’s do a test for ten days. Just give us veggies to eat and water to drink."
13Then, check our faces compared to the kids eating the king’s food, and do what you think is best.
14The eunuch prince was cool with it and let them try it for ten days.
15After ten days, they looked way better and healthier than all the kids munching on the king's meals.
16So Melzar took away their meat and wine and gave them veggies instead.
17For these four kids, God blessed them with knowledge and skills in all learning and wisdom; Daniel was also lit with insights into visions and dreams.
18At the end of the time the king said to bring them in, the eunuch prince brought them before Nebuchadnezzar.
19The king talked with them, and none were as impressive as Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, so they stood out before the king.
20In all the wisdom and understanding the king asked about, they were ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers in his whole kingdom.
21Daniel kept it going until the first year of King Cyrus.