1David pulled together all the chosen homies of Israel, thirty thousand strong.

2Then David bounced with all his crew from Baale of Judah to grab the ark of God, the one with the ultimate name, Lord of hosts chillin' between the cherubims.

3They loaded the ark of God onto a fresh cart, rolling it out from Abinadab's crib in Gibeah; Uzzah and Ahio, Abinadab's sons, were driving that new ride.

4They rolled out from Abinadab's house in Gibeah, vibing with the ark of God, and Ahio was leading the way.

5David and the whole squad of Israel were jamming before the Lord with all kinds of instruments made from fir wood—harps, psalteries, timbrels, cornets, and cymbals, all slapping.

6When they hit Nachon’s threshingfloor, Uzzah reached out for the ark of God 'cause the oxen were acting wild.

7The Lord got mad at Uzzah, and boom, He smote him right there for his mistake; Uzzah straight up died by the ark of God.

8David was lowkey upset because the Lord had done that to Uzzah; he named the spot Perez–uzzah, and it’s still called that.

9That day, David was shook by the Lord and asked, "How’s the ark of the Lord gonna come to me?"

10So David didn’t bring the ark of the Lord into the city of David; instead, he stashed it in Obed–edom the Gittite’s place.

11The ark of the Lord stayed at Obed–edom's for three months, and the Lord blessed Obed–edom and his whole fam.

12Word got to King David that the Lord was blessing Obed–edom's house and everything he had because of the ark of God, so David went to scoop it up with good vibes.

13Every six steps they took with the ark, David was sacrificing oxen and fatlings, no cap.

14David was dancing hard before the Lord with all his energy, rocking that linen ephod.

15So David and all the Israel crew brought the ark of the Lord up with mad shouting and trumpet blaring, it was lit.

16As the ark rolled into the city of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, peeped through a window and saw King David jumping and dancing for the Lord; she was totally judging him in her heart.

17They brought the ark of the Lord in and set it up in the tabernacle David had set up for it; David offered burnt and peace offerings before the Lord, periodt.

18Once David finished those offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts.

19He hooked up everyone in Israel, giving each person a cake of bread, a nice piece of meat, and a flagon of wine. Then everyone dipped back to their own spots.

20David went back to bless his household, but Michal, Saul’s daughter, came out to meet him, saying, "Wow, what a vibe today, King of Israel, exposing yourself in front of the servants like that!"

21David shot back at Michal, "I was vibing before the Lord, who picked me over your dad and his whole fam to rule over the Lord's people, Israel; that’s why I’m gonna keep popping off."

22And I’m gonna get even more wild than this, and I’ll be seen however I want; the maidservants you’re talking about will vibe with me for real.

23So Michal, Saul’s daughter, ended up childless until she passed away.

1Again, David gathered together all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand.

2And David arose, and went with all the people that were with him from Baale of Judah, to bring up from thence the ark of God, whose name is called by the name of the Lord of hosts that dwelleth between the cherubims.

3And they set the ark of God upon a new cart, and brought it out of the house of Abinadab that was in Gibeah: and Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, drave the new cart.

4And they brought it out of the house of Abinadab which was at Gibeah, accompanying the ark of God: and Ahio went before the ark.

5And David and all the house of Israel played before the Lord on all manner of instruments made of fir wood, even on harps, and on psalteries, and on timbrels, and on cornets, and on cymbals.

6And when they came to Nachon’s threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it.

7And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.

8And David was displeased, because the Lord had made a breach upon Uzzah: and he called the name of the place Perez–uzzah to this day.

9And David was afraid of the Lord that day, and said, How shall the ark of the Lord come to me?

10So David would not remove the ark of the Lord unto him into the city of David: but David carried it aside into the house of Obed–edom the Gittite.

11And the ark of the Lord continued in the house of Obed–edom the Gittite three months: and the Lord blessed Obed–edom, and all his household.

12And it was told king David, saying, The Lord hath blessed the house of Obed–edom, and all that pertaineth unto him, because of the ark of God. So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed–edom into the city of David with gladness.

13And it was so, that when they that bare the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed oxen and fatlings.

14And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

15So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.

16And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

17And they brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in his place, in the midst of the tabernacle that David had pitched for it: and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord.

18And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts.

19And he dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men, to every one a cake of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine. So all the people departed every one to his house.

20Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!

21And David said unto Michal, It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel: therefore will I play before the Lord.

22And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.

23Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.