Gen Z: 2 Kings 25
1So, in the ninth year of his reign, in the tenth month and day, Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, pulled up with his whole squad against Jerusalem and set up camp, building forts all around.
2The city was under siege until the eleventh year of King Zedekiah, no cap.
3On the ninth day of the fourth month, fam was hitting hard in the city, and there was zero bread for the people, fr.
4The city got wrecked, and all the warriors dipped at night through the gate between two walls by the king's garden; the Chaldees were all around, and the king went towards the plain.
5The Chaldees chased down the king and caught him in the Jericho plains; his whole army was scattered like they ghosted him.
6They grabbed the king and took him to Babylon to Riblah, where they laid down some judgment on him.
7They straight-up killed Zedekiah's sons right in front of him, blinded him, shackled him in brass, and took him to Babylon, savage.
8In the fifth month, on the seventh day, in the nineteenth year of King Nebuchadnezzar, Nebuzar–adan, the captain of the guard and a servant of the king, rolled up to Jerusalem.
9He lit up the house of the Lord, the king's palace, and all the houses in Jerusalem; every big shot's house got torched, and it was all bussin'.
10The whole Chaldean army with the captain of the guard smashed down the walls of Jerusalem all around, periodt.
11So the rest of the squad that stayed in the city, plus the runaways who bounced to the king of Babylon, Nebuzar-adan the captain of the guard scooped them up.
12But the captain of the guard kept the broke folks around to be vinedressers and farmers, no cap.
13The Chaldees smashed the brass pillars from the Lord's house, plus the bases and the big brass sea, and took all that brass to Babylon.
14They also grabbed the pots, shovels, snuffers, spoons, and all the brass stuff they used, straight up bussin'.
15The captain of the guard took the firepans, bowls, and all the gold and silver items, keeping it real.
16The two pillars, one sea, and the bases Solomon made for the Lord's house; that brass was seriously heavy, fr.
17One pillar was eighteen cubits tall, with a brass chapiter on top, and that chapiter was three cubits high, decked out with brass wreaths and pomegranates, just like the second pillar.
18The captain of the guard took Seraiah the chief priest and Zephaniah the second priest, plus three doorkeepers, savage.
19He also snagged an officer in charge of the warriors, five dudes who were chillin' with the king, the main scribe of the army, and sixty men from the city.
20Nebuzar-adan, the captain of the guard, took all these peeps and brought them to the king of Babylon at Riblah.
21The king of Babylon straight up took them out at Riblah in Hamath. So Judah got totally taken from their land, no cap.
22The peeps left in Judah, Nebuchadnezzar was like, "Yo, Gedaliah is your new ruler," and he was the son of Ahikam, son of Shaphan.
23When all the army bosses heard Gedaliah was governor, they rolled up to Mizpah with their crew, including Ishmael, Johanan, Seraiah, and Jaazaniah.
24Gedaliah was like, "Chill, don’t be scared of the Chaldees. Just stay here and serve the king of Babylon; it’s gonna be lit."
25But in the seventh month, Ishmael, son of Nethaniah, came with ten dudes and took out Gedaliah, so he died, along with the Jews and Chaldees at Mizpah.
26Everyone, big and small, and the army bosses bounced to Egypt because they were shook of the Chaldees.
27In the thirty-seventh year of Jehoiachin’s captivity, in the twelfth month, on the twenty-seventh day, Evil-merodach, king of Babylon, pulled Jehoiachin outta prison.
28He was super nice to him and put his throne above the other kings in Babylon, periodt.
29He switched up his prison clothes and had bread every day before him for the rest of his life, fr.
30His allowance was a daily hookup from the king, a steady rate for every day, all the days of his life.