Gen Z: 2 Chronicles 25
1Amaziah was 25 when he started his reign, and he ruled for 29 years in Jerusalem. His mom's name was Jehoaddan, straight outta Jerusalem.
2He did what was right in God's eyes, but his heart was kinda sus.
3Once the kingdom was his, he went savage and took out the servants who offed his dad, the king.
4But he didn’t touch their kids, keeping it real like it says in Moses' law: parents don’t get the blame for their kids, and vice versa. Everyone's gotta own their own mess.
5Amaziah gathered Judah and made them captains over thousands and hundreds, based on their fams, counting them from 20 and up. He found 300k solid men ready to pop off in battle, armed with spears and shields.
6He also hired 100k dope warriors from Israel for a hundred talents of silver.
7Then a man of God pulled up and said, "Yo king, don’t take the Israel army with you; God ain't riding with them, especially the kids of Ephraim."
8But if you still wanna go, be strong for the fight: God can make you win or take you down, no cap.
9Amaziah asked the man of God, "What about the hundred talents I gave to the Israel army?" The man of God said, "The Lord can bless you with way more than that."
10So, Amaziah sent the Ephraim army back home, and they were mad upset at Judah, storming back in anger.
11Amaziah got his vibe up, rallied his crew, and hit the valley of salt, taking out ten thousand of Seir's kids.
12Judah's squad took another ten thousand alive, dragged them to the rock's peak, and sent them crashing down like, "That’s savage."
13But the soldiers Amaziah sent back didn't chill; they rolled through Judah’s cities, from Samaria to Beth-horon, took out three thousand, and snagged mad loot.
14After he wiped out the Edomites, Amaziah brought back their gods, set them up as his new vibes, and started bowing down and burning incense like it was all good.
15This made the Lord mad, so He sent a prophet to Amaziah, like, “Why you tryna flex with gods that couldn’t even save their own peeps?”
16As they were chatting, the king was like, “You got the king’s rizz? Chill, or you might catch these hands.” The prophet backed off, saying he knew God was ready to take him down for ignoring the advice.
17Amaziah, king of Judah, took the hint and hit up Joash, son of Jehoahaz, king of Israel, saying, “Yo, let’s meet face to face.”
18Joash, king of Israel, replied to Amaziah, “The thistle in Lebanon hit up the cedar, asking to marry his daughter, but a wild beast stomped the thistle down. No cap.”
19You’re saying you took out the Edomites and feeling yourself? Chill at home; why mess around and make it worse for yourself and Judah?
20But Amaziah didn’t listen; it was all part of God’s plan to hand them over to their enemies ‘cause they were vibing with the gods of Edom.
21So Joash, the king of Israel, pulled up, and they locked eyes, both him and Amaziah, king of Judah, at Beth-shemesh, which is all Judah's turf.
22Judah got wrecked by Israel, and everyone dipped back to their tents, no cap.
23Joash, the king of Israel, snatched up Amaziah, king of Judah, the son of Joash, the son of Jehoahaz, at Beth-shemesh, and rolled him to Jerusalem, where he totally wrecked the wall from Ephraim gate to the corner gate, four hundred cubits.
24He took all the gold and silver, and everything lit found in God's house with Obed-edom, plus the king's treasures and hostages, and bounced back to Samaria.
25Amaziah, the son of Joash, king of Judah, vibed for fifteen years after Joash, son of Jehoahaz, king of Israel, passed away.
26Now, the rest of Amaziah's moves, both the good and the bad, you bet they’re written in the book of the kings of Judah and Israel.
27After Amaziah ghosted following the Lord, they plotted against him in Jerusalem; he bounced to Lachish, but they sent the squad after him and took him out there.
28They put him on horses and buried him with his fam in the city of Judah.