1So, Samuel's word hit all of Israel. They rolled out to battle the Philistines and set up camp at Eben–ezer, while the Philistines were chilling at Aphek.

2The Philistines got their squad ready against Israel, and when the battle popped off, Israel took a major L, losing like four thousand men in the field.

3When the crew got back to camp, the elders of Israel were like, "Why did the Lord let us get wrecked by the Philistines today? Let’s grab the ark of the covenant from Shiloh so it can save us from our enemies."

4So the people hit up Shiloh to fetch the ark of the Lord of hosts, which vibes between the cherubims, and Eli's two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with it.

5When the ark of the Lord rolled into camp, all of Israel went wild and shouted so loud, the earth was basically shaking.

6The Philistines heard the hype and were like, "What’s up with this crazy noise from the Hebrews' camp?" They figured out the ark of the Lord had arrived.

7The Philistines got shook, saying, "God's in their camp! This is not good, fam! We’ve never seen anything like this before."

8"Oh no! Who's gonna save us from these powerful Gods? These are the ones who wrecked the Egyptians with all those plagues in the desert!"

9"Yo, Philistines, be strong and act like real ones so you don’t end up as servants to the Hebrews like they were to you. Stand your ground and fight!"

10The Philistines went hard in the battle, but Israel took another L and scattered back to their tents; it was a brutal slaughter, with thirty thousand Israelites down.

11The ark of God got snatched, and Eli’s two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, got taken out.

12A dude from Benjamin sprinted out of the army and rolled up to Shiloh the same day, clothes torn and dirt on his head.

13Eli was chilling on a seat by the road, watching, because he was worried about the ark of God. When the guy got into the city and shared the news, everyone freaked out.

14Eli heard all the noise and was like, "What’s with all this chaos?" The guy rushed in and filled Eli in.

15Eli was 98 years old, and his vision was super bad, so he couldn’t see anything.

16The man told Eli, "I just came from the army, and I ran away today." Eli was like, "What’s going down, my dude?"

17The messenger replied, "Israel dipped from the Philistines, and it was a major slaughter. Your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God got taken."

18As soon as he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell off his seat backwards by the gate, broke his neck, and died—dude was old and heavy. He had been judging Israel for forty years.

19Eli's daughter-in-law, Phinehas' wife, was about to give birth. When she heard the news that the ark was taken and her father-in-law and husband were gone, she went into labor, feeling all the pain.

20Right before she died, the women around her were like, "Don’t stress, you just had a son!" But she didn’t respond or care.

21She named the baby I–chabod, saying, "The glory has left Israel because the ark of God was taken and because of her father-in-law and husband."

22She said, "The glory has left Israel; the ark of God is gone."

1And the word of Samuel came to all Israel. Now Israel went out against the Philistines to battle, and pitched beside Eben–ezer: and the Philistines pitched in Aphek.

2And the Philistines put themselves in array against Israel: and when they joined battle, Israel was smitten before the Philistines: and they slew of the army in the field about four thousand men.

3And when the people were come into the camp, the elders of Israel said, Wherefore hath the Lord smitten us to day before the Philistines? Let us fetch the ark of the covenant of the Lord out of Shiloh unto us, that, when it cometh among us, it may save us out of the hand of our enemies.

4So the people sent to Shiloh, that they might bring from thence the ark of the covenant of the Lord of hosts, which dwelleth between the cherubims: and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were there with the ark of the covenant of God.

5And when the ark of the covenant of the Lord came into the camp, all Israel shouted with a great shout, so that the earth rang again.

6And when the Philistines heard the noise of the shout, they said, What meaneth the noise of this great shout in the camp of the Hebrews? And they understood that the ark of the Lord was come into the camp.

7And the Philistines were afraid, for they said, God is come into the camp. And they said, Woe unto us! for there hath not been such a thing heretofore.

8Woe unto us! who shall deliver us out of the hand of these mighty Gods? these are the Gods that smote the Egyptians with all the plagues in the wilderness.

9Be strong, and quit yourselves like men, O ye Philistines, that ye be not servants unto the Hebrews, as they have been to you: quit yourselves like men, and fight.

10And the Philistines fought, and Israel was smitten, and they fled every man into his tent: and there was a very great slaughter; for there fell of Israel thirty thousand footmen.

11And the ark of God was taken; and the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were slain.

12And there ran a man of Benjamin out of the army, and came to Shiloh the same day with his clothes rent, and with earth upon his head.

13And when he came, lo, Eli sat upon a seat by the wayside watching: for his heart trembled for the ark of God. And when the man came into the city, and told it, all the city cried out.

14And when Eli heard the noise of the crying, he said, What meaneth the noise of this tumult? And the man came in hastily, and told Eli.

15Now Eli was ninety and eight years old; and his eyes were dim, that he could not see.

16And the man said unto Eli, I am he that came out of the army, and I fled to day out of the army. And he said, What is there done, my son?

17And the messenger answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God is taken.

18And it came to pass, when he made mention of the ark of God, that he fell from off the seat backward by the side of the gate, and his neck brake, and he died: for he was an old man, and heavy. And he had judged Israel forty years.

19And his daughter in law, Phinehas’ wife, was with child, near to be delivered: and when she heard the tidings that the ark of God was taken, and that her father in law and her husband were dead, she bowed herself and travailed; for her pains came upon her.

20And about the time of her death the women that stood by her said unto her, Fear not; for thou hast born a son. But she answered not, neither did she regard it.

21And she named the child I–chabod, saying, The glory is departed from Israel: because the ark of God was taken, and because of her father in law and her husband.

22And she said, The glory is departed from Israel: for the ark of God is taken.