1David was like, "I’m gonna get wrecked by Saul one day. Best move? Bounce to the Philistines, and Saul will totally give up on me. No cap."

2So David got up and rolled out with his 600 dudes to Achish, the king of Gath.

3David chilled with Achish at Gath, bringing his whole crew, including his two wives, Ahinoam and Abigail.

4Saul found out David was in Gath, and he was like, "Nah, I’m done looking for him."

5David told Achish, "If I vibe with you, can I get a spot in a town? Why should I stay in the royal city with you?"

6Achish was like, "Bet, you can have Ziklag," and that’s how Ziklag became a thing for Judah’s kings.

7David was chilling in Philistine land for a full year and four months, no lie.

8David and his crew went hard and attacked the Geshurites, Gezrites, and Amalekites, 'cause those were the OGs of the land, heading towards Egypt.

9David wiped out everyone and took all the livestock and clothes, then bounced back to Achish.

10Achish asked, "Where you been today?" and David replied, "Just hitting up the south of Judah and the Jerahmeelites."

11David didn’t leave anyone alive to spill the tea in Gath, saying, "I can’t have them snitching on us, saying this is how David rolls."

12Achish bought it, saying, "David’s made his people totally hate him, so he’s my ride or die forever."

1And David said in his heart, I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul: there is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape into the land of the Philistines; and Saul shall despair of me, to seek me any more in any coast of Israel: so shall I escape out of his hand.

2And David arose, and he passed over with the six hundred men that were with him unto Achish, the son of Maoch, king of Gath.

3And David dwelt with Achish at Gath, he and his men, every man with his household, even David with his two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the Carmelitess, Nabal’s wife.

4And it was told Saul that David was fled to Gath: and he sought no more again for him.

5And David said unto Achish, If I have now found grace in thine eyes, let them give me a place in some town in the country, that I may dwell there: for why should thy servant dwell in the royal city with thee?

6Then Achish gave him Ziklag that day: wherefore Ziklag pertaineth unto the kings of Judah unto this day.

7And the time that David dwelt in the country of the Philistines was a full year and four months.

8And David and his men went up, and invaded the Geshurites, and the Gezrites, and the Amalekites: for those nations were of old the inhabitants of the land, as thou goest to Shur, even unto the land of Egypt.

9And David smote the land, and left neither man nor woman alive, and took away the sheep, and the oxen, and the asses, and the camels, and the apparel, and returned, and came to Achish.

10And Achish said, Whither have ye made a road to day? And David said, Against the south of Judah, and against the south of the Jerahmeelites, and against the south of the Kenites.

11And David saved neither man nor woman alive, to bring tidings to Gath, saying, Lest they should tell on us, saying, So did David, and so will be his manner all the while he dwelleth in the country of the Philistines.

12And Achish believed David, saying, He hath made his people Israel utterly to abhor him; therefore he shall be my servant for ever.