Gen Z: 1 Samuel 23
1So they hit up David and were like, "Yo, the Philistines are throwing down in Keilah and stealing all the crops."
2David was like, "God, should I roll out and take down these Philistines?" And God was like, "Bet, go smash them and save Keilah."
3David’s crew was like, "Fr, we’re scared here in Judah; how much more if we bounce to Keilah and face the Philistine army?"
4David asked God again, and God was like, "Get up, head to Keilah; I got you, I’ll hand the Philistines over to you."
5So David and his squad rolled to Keilah, clapped the Philistines, took their livestock, and wiped them out. David saved the people of Keilah.
6Then Abiathar, son of Ahimelech, dipped to David in Keilah with an ephod in hand.
7Saul heard David was in Keilah and said, "God’s given him to me; he’s trapped in a town with gates and bars."
8Saul gathered the crew for war, ready to roll to Keilah and surround David and his homies.
9David peeped that Saul was scheming on the low, so he told Abiathar the priest, "Bring that ephod over here."
10Then David was like, "O Lord God of Israel, I’ve heard Saul’s coming to Keilah to wreck the city for me."
11Yo, will the squad from Keilah snitch on me? Is Saul pulling up like I heard? O Lord God of Israel, I need the tea. And God said, "He’s coming down."
12Then David was like, "Will the Keilah crew turn me and my boys over to Saul?" And the Lord was like, "They’ll definitely do that."
13So David and his crew, like six hundred deep, bounced from Keilah and dipped wherever they could. Saul found out David ghosted Keilah, so he chilled and didn’t chase.
14David was chilling in the wild, holding it down in the mountains of Ziph. Saul was hunting him every day, but God wasn’t letting him get caught.
15David peeped that Saul was out here trying to take him out: and David was in the Ziph woods.
16Then Jonathan, Saul’s son, popped up and visited David in the woods, giving him some serious support from God.
17He was like, "Don’t trip: Saul ain’t gonna find you; you’re gonna be king over Israel, and I’ll be right there with you; Saul knows this too."
18So they made a pact before the Lord: David stayed in the woods, and Jonathan went back home.
19Then the Ziphites rolled up to Saul in Gibeah, saying, "Ain’t David hiding with us in the woods, on Hachilah hill, south of Jeshimon?"
20So, king, pull up whenever you want; we got you, and we’ll hand him over to you.
21Saul was like, "Bless up fam, y'all are showing mad compassion on me."
22"Yo, go check it out, find his spot, and see who's seen him chillin' there, 'cause I heard he's being all sneaky."
23"So, peep all the shady spots where he's hiding, and come back with the deets. If he's in the land, I'ma search him out for real, no cap."
24They bounced and headed to Ziph before Saul, but David and his crew were in the Maon wilderness, vibing in the south of Jeshimon.
25Saul and his squad were on the hunt for him. They told David he dipped into a rock and was chilling in the Maon wilderness. When Saul heard that, he chased after David in the Maon wilderness.
26Saul was on one side of the mountain, and David and his crew were on the other. David was like, "I gotta bounce, Saul's coming for us!" Saul and his boys surrounded them to catch them.
27Then a messenger hit up Saul, saying, "Yo, hurry up and come through; the Philistines are invading the land!"
28So Saul dipped from chasing David and went to handle the Philistines. They named that spot Sela-hammahlekoth.
29David peaced out from there and found some strongholds at En-gedi.