Gen Z: 1 Samuel 1
1There was this dude Elkanah from Ramathaim–zophim, chillin' in Ephraim, son of Jeroham, Elihu, Tohu, and Zuph. Total vibe check.
2He had two wives, right? One was Hannah and the other was Peninnah. Peninnah was poppin' out kids, but Hannah was dry, no cap.
3This man would roll up to Shiloh every year to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts. Eli's sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were there too, keeping it lit.
4When it was time to offer, Elkanah gave Peninnah and her kids their portions, like, "Here ya go."
5But for Hannah, he gave a dope portion 'cause he loved her, even though the Lord had her womb on lockdown.
6Her rival kept coming at her hard, making her stressed 'cause the Lord had her womb on lock, like, so sus.
7Year after year, when she went to the Lord's house, the rival would provoke her, so she cried and couldn't eat, savage.
8Elkanah asked Hannah, "Why you crying? Why you not eating? Am I not better than ten sons, fr?"
9After they ate and drank in Shiloh, Hannah got up, and Eli the priest was chilling by a post in the temple, just vibing.
10She was feeling all sorts of heavy in her soul, prayed to the Lord, and cried hard, no cap.
11She made a promise and was like, "Yo, Lord of hosts, if you peep my struggle and remember me, don’t ghost me, but bless me with a son, I’ll give him to you for life, and no razor’s touching his head, periodt."
12So, while she was praying hard, Eli noticed her lips moving.
13Hannah was just vibing in her heart; her lips were moving but no sound came out, so Eli thought she was lit and drunk.
14Eli was like, "How long you gonna be lit? Put down that wine, fam."
15Hannah replied, "No cap, my dude, I’m just a sad soul: I haven’t had any wine or strong drink, just pouring my heart out to the Lord."
16"Don’t think I’m a total mess; I’m just speaking from my pain and grief."
17Eli said, "Bet, go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant what you asked for."
18She said, "Let your girl find favor with you." Then she bounced, ate, and her vibe was no longer sad.
19They woke up early, worshipped the Lord, then went back home to Ramah; Elkanah knew Hannah, and the Lord was like, "I got you."
20Eventually, when the time was right, Hannah had a son and named him Samuel, saying, "I asked the Lord for him, and He delivered, fr."
21Elkanah and his whole fam rolled up to flex on the Lord with their yearly sacrifice, no cap.
22But Hannah was like, "Nah, I'm chillin' until the kid's weaned. Then I'll bring him to vibe with the Lord forever."
23Elkanah told her, "Do what you gotta do, just make sure the Lord's got your back." So she stayed and fed her son until he was ready.
24Once she had weaned him, she took him with three bulls, some flour, and a bottle of wine to the Lord's crib in Shiloh, and the kid was still young.
25They straight up killed a bull and brought the kid to Eli.
26She said, "Yo, my lord, as you live, I'm the woman who was here praying to the Lord."
27"For this kid, I prayed, and the Lord totally came through with my request."
28"So I'm giving him back to the Lord; he’s on loan for life. And he worshipped the Lord there, periodt."